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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think WTF

47 replies

RoastedParsnips · 24/12/2021 22:22

It's a DH and Christmas rant.

Currently 10:20 and I'm wrapping presents for DC and HIS FAMILY that I also purchased because he couldn't be bothered.
Tomorrow we're spending it with mil and BIL all good and dandy but it's the fourth year running I've missed on spending Christmas with my own family.
I love Christmas with my family, it's lovely drinks flow, everyone's happy telling tales and jokes, the kids are happy, the foods good etc and his family are just so not in the spirit of things?
It's really ruined my Christmas mood. I can't go see my family at all as they're to far away and I can't drive that far and he knows it and he knows I'm missing my family and only doing Christmas for the dc and he's just not making a damn bit of effort.
Please tell me it's not just my DH, he's usually brilliant but Christmas just always seems to be down to me. I hate it. I'm in such a bad mood and he can't seem to figure out why. Still got to clean up after I've finished wrapping!

OP posts:

CatNamedEaster · 24/12/2021 23:12

He said on Saturday he might need some help. My response was 'who is he going to ask?'

TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 24/12/2021 23:18

@MolkosTeenageAngst

Stop being a martyr and just give him his gifts to wrap.

This

FGS just stop with your silly martyrish behaviour and pretending it is for the DCs.

And he is hardly a "D"H is he

These threads are never ending.... Just STOP!

RoyalFamilyFan · 24/12/2021 23:24

In my family, DP does his family, I do mine. If someone does not get a present then tough.

Original poster

RoastedParsnips · 24/12/2021 23:24

I chucked his families presents at him, gave him the death stare. He wrapped them. Then he proceeded to clean up. So that's something I guess!

OP posts:

cherrytopcake · 24/12/2021 23:26

He doesn't sound brilliant normally. If he was brilliant normally he wouldn't behave like this and would take turns doing a Xmas at your family too... he's selfish and walking all over you

Stop buying and wrapping presents that he should be sorting. Why can't you get to your family for xmas ? Do you drive ?

FallonCarringtonWannabe · 24/12/2021 23:26

Jesus who do so many women have such little self respect on these boards.

WouldBeGood · 24/12/2021 23:26

If you can drive them drive to see your family

SarahBellam · 24/12/2021 23:51

@RoastedParsnips

I chucked his families presents at him, gave him the death stare. He wrapped them. Then he proceeded to clean up. So that's something I guess!

So he does have full use of his limbs? Well, that’s something, I suppose.

whattodo2019 · 24/12/2021 23:51

@RoastedParsnips

I chucked his families presents at him, gave him the death stare. He wrapped them. Then he proceeded to clean up. So that's something I guess!

Well done. Now go to bed and make up and start a fresh tomorrow. Happy Christmas to you all

Chloemol · 25/12/2021 00:10

You should have handed the presents over to him to wrap

And next year just tell him you and the kids are going to your parents it’s up to him if he comes

Phobiaphobic · 25/12/2021 00:10

@FallonCarringtonWannabe

Jesus who do so many women have such little self respect on these boards.

It's not just on Mumsnet, it's everywhere. I barely know a woman who doesn't pander to their partner all the time.

Offmyfence · 25/12/2021 06:50

@RoastedParsnips

I chucked his families presents at him, gave him the death stare. He wrapped them. Then he proceeded to clean up. So that's something I guess!

So they you go, he is doing it? Not sure why you had to get to this stage, maybe resentment about not going to your family? Make sure you go to your family next year, start planning that in July.

TulipsGarden · 25/12/2021 06:55

When his family have, tell him you're going to your family next year. Tell him again throughout the year so he can't 'forget'.

Do not buy gifts for his family for him. Why would you?

TulipsGarden · 25/12/2021 06:55

*leave not have

AuntieMarys · 25/12/2021 06:58

He is not brilliant. And you are a doormat. What message are you sending to your children?
I despair reading posts like this.

rainbowstardrops · 25/12/2021 07:16

I don't understand why people put up with this unbalanced shit either.
Why wouldn't just say, 'We spent Christmas with your family last year, so I'm seeing mine this year'. If he doesn't like it then you just don't go to his either 🤷🏻‍♀️

OfMinceAndMen · 25/12/2021 07:19

I leave DH to buy for his family, including coming up with the ideas. If you're taking that on, then more fool you.

Northsoutheastwest76 · 25/12/2021 07:37

He should be buying and wrapping for his own family. Also you should alternate between families.

IncompleteSenten · 25/12/2021 07:41

He's normally brilliant is he?
So he normally shares driving so you can see your family at Christmas, and he normally buys and wraps gifts for his relatives does he? In what other ways is he brilliant?

YANBU. If he won't alternate years then take public transport or drive yourself over 2 days, stopping halfway overnight

MyOtherProfile · 25/12/2021 08:26

And have you told him it's your family's turn next year?

billy1966 · 25/12/2021 08:34

@AuntieMarys

He is not brilliant. And you are a doormat. What message are you sending to your children? I despair reading posts like this.

This.

You are a MUG, with no one to blame but yourself.

4 years since Christmas with your family for this selfish man.

We teach people how to treat us.

I'd be packing the kids up and heading to my family and leave him to it.

3scape · 25/12/2021 09:18

Can you arrange to visit for a few days? Or stay in a hotel near them? Basically cut him out of the equation so you're not dependent on him for travel. If you're missing your family it could give you a chance to get some perspective going for new year even.

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