To leave 21 year old son for tea

[Notmrsfitz]

Partner has grandchildren, his children all meet up at their mums house on Christmas Eve for tea - I am always included.

Son has come home from uni for Christmas (his uni isn't far away but he lives out with his friends and has a job there too) but will be going back on Boxing Day.

He doesn't want to come with us and has gone for a nap - I'm still going as I love the grandchildren although they're not mine and it's a nice occasion (everyone's tested this morning)

So Ainu to leave him at home on Christmas Eve (I'll be back before 9) or would you stay at home whilst partner goes and wait for him to wake up and spend time with him?

Definitely go and enjoy yourself.

Go and enjoy yourself. He’s been invited and wanted a nap instead! If he was younger maybe a bit U (but still not really if he had a choice). He’s an adult, he’ll survive!

If he cba to stay out of bed to spend time with you I wouldn't be waiting around for him to wake up

Leave him ! He doent want to come you want to go . I can't really see the confusen 🤔

Good grief, excuse my grammer and spelling

Fuck that. Just go.

Actually, do you think he’s using a nap as an excuse to have an empty house so he can bring someone over in private while you’re gone?

I wouldn't even think twice about it. I would leave him to sleep and go. What's the point of sitting around waiting for him to wake up?

Of course I would go! What craziness is this?!?!

It’s fine. I assume he doesn’t know your partner’s family as well as you do, and it’s not like you haven’t got all day tomorrow together.

I was invited to a party for my cousin’s stepson recently and, as much I appreciated the offer, we barely know each other and I’d have felt like a spare part. Let him have a break while you enjoy seeing the wider family - it’s win-win.

@santaclothes

If he cba to stay out of bed to spend time with you I wouldn't be waiting around for him to wake up

Unnecessarily harsh. He’s an adult who doesn’t want to go to an event, so he isn’t going. He hasn’t shut himself up in his old room all Christmas refusing to speak to anyone - it’s a few hours.

He's 21 and back for Xmas. Shouldn't he be in the pub with his mates or trying to pull?

I do love Xmas eve with kids, but a big part of me yearns for those days.

I can't believe this is even a serious question?!

Of course you should!

This has really been over thought op. He's a big lad, he'll survive, small people aren't everyone's idea of fun tbh.

And no need to be back before 9 either!

He's a grown adult and he's choosing not to go out. His call, it's not a big deal to spend the evening on his own.

I would have asked him if he wanted me to stay and spend time with him.

Go

Of course you should! He gets the chance to chill around in his proper bedroom and have the house to himself I bet that will be the highlight of his Christmas!

Go and enjoy the grandchildren, let him know what is and isn’t off limits in the fridge, open him up a cider if you’re feeling particularly festive and enjoy your respective evenings!

He may even do a little cram wrapping if he’s anything like my husband was at that age! He would go MIA for a couple of hours on Christmas Eve night and would be wrapping the presents he’d been meaning to do for weeks!

If he’s been invited and doesn’t want to come then leave him

He doesn't want to go and nap is an excuse.

21? As in twenty. one. Not two? Is this a joke?

He's 21 and back for Xmas. Shouldn't he be in the pub with his mates or trying to pull?

This Xmas, while staying with his parents? No, not really. He can do that when he's back at uni, if that's his style.

Leave him, op. He's probably really enjoying a quiet nap in his old room - shared student houses aren't always very restful. My young adult daughter is home, for about a week - she seems to be glad of time to just chill out, with friends available on the other end of whatever sm platform she's using.

Definitely go. Not a question.

Of course YANBU.
He is invited, and choosing not to go.
Which is fine.

tbh, even if he wasn't invited, I'd still go.
I have one home for Christmas from University - lovely though it is, she doesn't need, or want to spend 24/7 with me.

Go . He is choosing to be alone, you are not leaving. Him.