To leave 21 year old son for tea

[Notmrsfitz]

Partner has grandchildren, his children all meet up at their mums house on Christmas Eve for tea - I am always included.

Son has come home from uni for Christmas (his uni isn't far away but he lives out with his friends and has a job there too) but will be going back on Boxing Day.

He doesn't want to come with us and has gone for a nap - I'm still going as I love the grandchildren although they're not mine and it's a nice occasion (everyone's tested this morning)

So Ainu to leave him at home on Christmas Eve (I'll be back before 9) or would you stay at home whilst partner goes and wait for him to wake up and spend time with him?

He's not a child. He has said he doesn't want to go. What are you going to do? Sit and watch him sleep?

Get yourself off and enjoy your evening!

Just go. He wants to chill, not have his mother hanging around.

He's 21.... not 12

Thankyou all xx
I've been, it was lovely and now I'm home and he's had a takeaway and is full of beans !!

Backstory- he is 21 yes but, it's been just me and him for a long time - he was by my side all through my struggle with anxiety and other stuff - I do have 2 other sons but one is abroad in China and the other is estranged as he lives with his dad (he's in his late twenties) and that has only strengthened mine and my youngest as for a long time it's been just me and him.

My partner we have been together quite a while and he's very different to my sons father who has nothing to do with him or his elder brother but whilst he's very supportive of youngest son - my younger son is still very protective of me and I think I do overthink things but I wouldn't like to lose another son - so I do overthink things and try not to upset anyone xx

Thankyou all for your input !!

Unnecessarily harsh. He’s an adult who doesn’t want to go to an event, so he isn’t going. He hasn’t shut himself up in his old room all Christmas refusing to speak to anyone - it’s a few hours.

It's not harsh. He is going to bed so why should OP give him consideration in her plans?

It was harsh because you said he ‘can’t be arsed’ to get up; as if he was somehow lying about in his bedroom ignoring the OP’s frantic calls up the stairs, meaning she couldn’t make any plans. What actually happened was he said he didn’t want to go and was going for a nap instead. 21 year-old man says ‘I don’t want to go to a party’ - he’s hardly ruining plans for the entire household.

All a bit dramatic really.....

@WomanStanleyWoman

It was harsh because you said he ‘can’t be arsed’ to get up; as if he was somehow lying about in his bedroom ignoring the OP’s frantic calls up the stairs, meaning she couldn’t make any plans. What actually happened was he said he didn’t want to go and was going for a nap instead. 21 year-old man says ‘I don’t want to go to a party’ - he’s hardly ruining plans for the entire household.

What I meant was did he could not be arsed staying out of bed to spend time with OP she should equally not worry about being there for him. Not harsh. Just the truth. He chose a nap. So it was fine for OP to choose to go out.

@Thickasmincepie

He's 21 and back for Xmas. Shouldn't he be in the pub with his mates or trying to pull?

I do love Xmas eve with kids, but a big part of me yearns for those days.

Jealous much?! Covid is a thing....

I'm in my 40s. I spend Xmas eve making sure it's magic for everyone etc, etc.

Hell yes, I'm jealous of being 21! Best Xmas ever was the one where I rolled in at 9 am Xmas day, after a successful Xmas eve.