Anybody miss the magic of their childhood Xmas's

[Halloweencat]

Not an unreasonable here, just a moment of reflection on how Xmas has changed. I remember my grandparents having big family parties on Xmas Day or Boxing day in the 70's with Grans siblings & their families. We'd see cousins, second cousins & people would just sleep on the floor in sleeping bags. Merry Xmas by Slade was a true reflection, now I find it a depressing song! Gran was the glue that held everyone together. Now the older generation have died it's down to my generation to do it; but it doesn't work out like this anymore. Cousins & sister all have their own family & inlaw commitments & the big parties do not seem practical to do anymore. Even before covid it felt like things were getting quieter at Xmas. Grown up kids are off doing their own thing instead of settling down & having their own children. As much as I appreciate everything I have Xmas Day feels like another Sunday really. Anybody feel like that Xmas cheer from previous has gone now?

My childhood Christmases were pretty low key. Woke up with sister, cartoons, smoked salmon and scrambled egg with parents, presents, Christmas telly, Christmas lunch, playing with new toys whilst eating chocolate and then bed!

It follows a similar format now except we are the parents. Yours sounds lovely though. Treasure those memories!

My parents did such a low key Christmas that I don’t remember a feeling of joy about the day, it was nice but I certainly don’t hark back to those days with misty eyed nostalgia

I can do the Christmas Day I want now, which imo is much nicer

My childhood Christmases were relatively low key. My parents used to have a big Hogmanay party though. It was amazing. All the kids would fall asleep on piles of coats sometime in the wee hours.
I love hosting parties but my youngest is only 12 months so obviously I wouldn't be able to relax. Dh and I were talking about it earlier and when ds2 is 5 my nephew (the eldest child in the clan)
will be 11. That will be a good time to start having Hogmanay parties I think.

I can't remember! There were only three of us anyway

I think that's more to do with your family dynamics then generically Christmas. As a child our Christmas was most often just the nuclear family, my parents siblings lived abroad.

Now I have kids we seem to have 'acquired' all manner of family members (my great aunt returned to uk, dh's single brother etc) who come every year along with my parents and siblings plus partners who come on rotation, so we are always a full house plus people staying at the Travelodge down the road!

I'm sorry if you are missing the wider family dynamic though. My kids have no cousin's (and almost certainly never will) and I feel sad they will always be the only kids here at Christmas.

I hear you OP! My family is so spread out that we don't do this anymore, but the heyday memories of big family parties still fill my heart with cheer. I feel sad /nostalgic when I see today's tiny, plastic tubs of Quality Street... I remember being 10 and my Grandma making me chuck the whole big(ger) metal tin of them up in the air while she tried to get a photo of it (like the advert at the time). Happy Times. Merry Christmas OP, have a good one x

Yes OP, like your family by Nanny was the glue though we didn't realise. Since she died a few years ago the family hasn't all met up for Xmas though we are trying this year for 27th hoping no one is struck down with Covid!

I try to make it magical for my kids, which I'm sure it is, but they don't have any cousins, they only have (eternally single) uncles aged between 24-30 (me and DH are both the eldest with much younger siblings!) so Xmas is normally just the 4 of us with the odd grandparent sometimes thrown in!

Yeah it's not really surprising that Christmas was much more fun when someone else was doing all the work 😆

Yes, I do. We always had big family Christmases. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, dogs. It was noisy and chaotic but so much fun. I've got some lovely memories.

Looking back high I know it was mainly my Mum and my Nan who made it so magical because of all their hard work!

Your childhood Christmases sound similar to how mine were. It always felt really special because the whole family was there and that would only happy once a year. I think for the most part it's probably because you're not a child anymore and you lose that magical feeling.

I'm late 60s and my childhood Christmases were like yours. The excitement and fun was way more than now though we had far fewer gifts and didn't go mad with chocolate etc. TV was limited and, with no catch-up or way to record a programme, you'd set your watch by something like the Morecambe and Wise Special and then the TV would go off. We played quizzes and games and elderly aunts and uncles dozed off in comfy armchairs after a huge roast turkey followed by Christmas pudding. Then a table covered with 'cold cuts' and pickles and salads in the evening. I miss the family Christmases but nobody has houses big enough (my parents would seat 18 some years) and families split up or move away - it's very sad.

Christmases were more fun years ago, even looking back at old photos from before I was born, my family all had lots of fun on Xmas day. Playing silly games, dressing up etc.
This year I'm going to my aunts, and there will be 15 of us (6 are kids). Hopefully, it will feel like a good old family Xmas, but as my mum won't be there it's going to be really odd.

There were pros and cons. We didn't have a car so most years had to walk a couple of miles in the snow (was I imagining the snow?) to my grandmothers house for dinner, leaving toys behind. I swore I would never take my children out on Christmas day after they. It was magical though, we got amazing gifts despite now realising we didn't have much money. One big difference is that most people were off work for 2 weeks the , whereas I work shifts and have to work key days.

Yes, completely and utterly! We had a huge family, so Christmas Day would be buzzing (we were always at my grandparents’ house), then on Boxing Day morning, they would host a big party where family friends would come over and we’d serve Buck’s Fizz and nibbles. After that, we’d all head over to my auntie’s and have a fun party with games and delicious food. Christmas music would be playing all the while…

Now my mum hosts and she’s super unsociable, so has the bare minimum people round, the house is quiet as she hates having music on, and gets so stressed about the whole thing. She sits there stroking her dog saying “There, there, they’ll all be gone soon” (referring to us, her children and grandchildren), yet insists on hosting us 🤦‍♀️😂

I'm very happy with our Christmases now, but yes my childhood one's were really special.
Everyone would flock to my grandma's house on Christmas eve for pork pie, ham, cheese, mince pies etc. There would be a big gift bag per family unit in the hallway and you would put your gifts in the relevant bags, so everyone would leave with a big bag of gifts. TheThe house was full and there were cousins of all ages. Then on Christmas day my mum would cook for 15.
Now we have a very small Christmas, and there are no kids in the family at all so it's all adults.
I still believe in Santa though! 🎅 🤫

I had similar Christmases in the 70s as a pre-teen. And we do similar now, (though not with covid).

I think it's a bit harder now because people are a bit less likely to live close to each other and houses are smaller (and we are a bit more spoilt and less likely to find bunking down on the floor/really-awful-sofa-bed okay).

I also wonder if the smaller families that are typical nowadays means that it doesn't feel quite as much like a special gathering and one family pulling out can make the whole thing go from big bash to limp gathering more easily?

I also had those loud, Slade-filled, 1970s Christmases OP and nothing beats them....Babycham and dressed up adults, visitors for days, loads of fun.

But I tend to think all adults get nostalgic for their childhood Christmases.

I watched A Child's Christmas in Wales on YouTube and the Grandfather in that was all nostalgic for his own Christmas as a boy in 1900 ish!

I do my best to recreate them a bit but the trouble is, I no longer live on a council estate in the North West of England, it's not 1978 and it can never come back.

You have to move on and find new magic.

Christmas was one of the things I really enjoyed in my childhood. Listening to Christmas songs, singing and dancing with aunt, uncle, parents, cousins. I am sad that my dd isn’t getting what I got. I’m nc from brother due to violence and abuse so it’s often just the 3 of us. However, dd gets a happy and stable life with a quieter Christmas due to me, her mum being unwell.

We love a big family Christmas
When I was a kid my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and even my in laws parents all came
We had a separate kids table as there were so many of us.
Plus my parents would invite any random friends and acquaintances who had nowhere else to go
It's just carried on over the years
As some people died or went to in laws etc more were added when people married and had kids
The only thing that's ever really stopped us is bloody Covid!
I love passing on the traditions to my own kids. They were absolutely devastated when DS tested positive and we had to stay at home again this year. Just the 4 of us does seem pretty pointless to me.

@The2Omicronnies

Yes, completely and utterly! We had a huge family, so Christmas Day would be buzzing (we were always at my grandparents’ house), then on Boxing Day morning, they would host a big party where family friends would come over and we’d serve Buck’s Fizz and nibbles. After that, we’d all head over to my auntie’s and have a fun party with games and delicious food. Christmas music would be playing all the while…

Now my mum hosts and she’s super unsociable, so has the bare minimum people round, the house is quiet as she hates having music on, and gets so stressed about the whole thing. She sits there stroking her dog saying “There, there, they’ll all be gone soon” (referring to us, her children and grandchildren), yet insists on hosting us 🤦‍♀️😂

Sorry - that made me laugh - your mum reassuring the dog

Yes, I miss my 80’s Christmas childhood. We would see mums family on Xmas day in the evening but Boxing Day was the big day. We went to my nans (dads side) and all my aunts and uncles and cousins would be there. We would play silly games and it would be great. Nan had two small downstairs rooms so there was a children’s table and an adults table in different rooms so got to eat with all my cousins and we would be a bit silly. Miss those days. Cousins have their own families and we have all scattered and my grandparents and some of the aunts and uncles have passed away. It’s a far smaller event these days. However I have four children of my own (like my Nan did) so my secret wish is one day I might be the Nan that everyone comes to and we have big christmases again for a few years. Got to wait for the children to marry and grandchildren first though lol.

I agree but I don’t think it’s the Christmas’s I miss but all the people who are no longer here, different time and different place. You never know what you had until it’s gone.

@Takemedown

Yeah it's not really surprising that Christmas was much more fun when someone else was doing all the work 😆

I was about to post ‘I miss the magic of someone else doing everything.’

I just think you're viewing it all wrong, why can't you just appreciate how nice that was back then, without being miserable that things have changed.

Or better still, recreate it. It can easily be done.

DH's family is huge but we still have a huge family Christmas party, the only difference is we do it a week or a couple of weeks before Christmas and all the family come together, no stress, no hassle we all contribute some food it's all fun and really easily done.

@Oblomov21

I just think you're viewing it all wrong, why can't you just appreciate how nice that was back then, without being miserable that things have changed.

Or better still, recreate it. It can easily be done.

DH's family is huge but we still have a huge family Christmas party, the only difference is we do it a week or a couple of weeks before Christmas and all the family come together, no stress, no hassle we all contribute some food it's all fun and really easily done.

Easily done if you have the people for it, and a big enough place.