Anybody miss the magic of their childhood Xmas's

[Halloweencat]

Not an unreasonable here, just a moment of reflection on how Xmas has changed. I remember my grandparents having big family parties on Xmas Day or Boxing day in the 70's with Grans siblings & their families. We'd see cousins, second cousins & people would just sleep on the floor in sleeping bags. Merry Xmas by Slade was a true reflection, now I find it a depressing song! Gran was the glue that held everyone together. Now the older generation have died it's down to my generation to do it; but it doesn't work out like this anymore. Cousins & sister all have their own family & inlaw commitments & the big parties do not seem practical to do anymore. Even before covid it felt like things were getting quieter at Xmas. Grown up kids are off doing their own thing instead of settling down & having their own children. As much as I appreciate everything I have Xmas Day feels like another Sunday really. Anybody feel like that Xmas cheer from previous has gone now?

We too had a lovely big family Christmas when I was a child in the 70s. I miss that sense of excitement and wonder.
My mum was the glue that held it together, but she was one who'd overdo it and get snappy, yet refuse any help ( I know, I tried)
We keep it very simple these days.

My childhood christmases were amazing. All at my Grandma's from late afternoon onwards with numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and extended family. Lots of booze and games. Really special.
My GP and parents are now all dead. The rest of my family is scattered all over the country. I'm LC with my one sibling so don't see him either, in fact there's no members of my family I ever see now except at funerals!
Christmas Day , as with every other occasion will be spent with well -off PIL who contribute £1 Morrisons cheesecakes for dessert, will drink warm vimto and don't allow 'silliness'.
A real mix of nostalgia and bitterness yet appreciation n for what I had.

Yes I really miss all the christmas snow we had in the 1960's even in London. We never get snow now and it just doesn't feel the same without it.

Christmas Day was always crap, especially once my parents were divorced.
But I loved Boxing Day as we'd go to my gran's with aunts, uncles and cousins. We rarely saw them so we'd be running around playing for hours. Then a big lunch sat round various tables shoved together and random sized chairs and stools.
My gran died in 1999 and the family haven't got together since.

There were never any arguments, no one in the family drinks and people just had fun with no drama.

I know what you mean OP.

We used to have a big get together on boxing day with my mums side of the family. Aunts uncles cousins and we had to stay over as they lived in a different city.

But now my cousins are all grown up,some not speaking to their parents and one lives in Australia so we never all get together like that anymore.

I miss it

You were a child and maybe an adult at that time would remember it differently; all the work required, burning the turkey, uncle Bob drinking half the booze, the time Aunt Susan announced her divorce, the tantrums the kids had, the days it took to tidy the house up afterwards!
But it is the people who make it all come together and that was the gift your grandma had (and the obligation people felt at that time). Society is different now.
I don't have my parents' knack (nor would I really want it) of collecting strays - they were ex pats and we always had four or five guests also ex pats with no family to spend Xmas with. My parents could combine these often quite disparate personalities with our family of five for a lovely fun Christmas evening. They were special and when I look back it was always a white Christmas with perfect food and everything and everyone had a wonderful time. I'm sure the reality was often somewhat different.

I am so glad that I do not have to endure childhood Xmasses any more. While some people had basically happy families with loved relatives nearby, then as now it can be a time when others did not. From the age of around 5 I sensed something was wrong and Xmas was one of the times when the wrongness was painfully clear.

Yes! I was an 80s kid and remember Christmas being such an exciting and magical time (of course my parents and grandparents made it feel like that).
Obviously not the same when your an adult but I did the same for my kids.

I miss my childhood family Christmases with grandparents aunts and uncles cousins and my own parents and brother. We used to chat and laugh and play cards and have quizzes Christmas went on for several days in different houses.
Now nearly all these people are dead and my brother lives miles away so it is just our family of 4 I will still have a good Christmas I love having my children here and I have no cause to complain, but I miss those who have gone just a bit more at this time of the year.

As a kid yes it was exciting and magical. But after about the age of 12 it was a bit rubbish. I dislike big crowds and chaos.

We had very simple 1960s Xmases....no relatives visiting apart from granny. But my mother got very stressed even so...I remember her crying in the kitchen as my dad was at the pub and she was in the kitchen.
That's why I never cook a Xmas dinner.

I didn't have grandparents so my childhood Christmases were low key. Just us. No one dropped in. We didn't go anywhere. It was just another day with some treats thrown in.

I enjoyed it as I didn't know any different. Like I didn't know Christmas presents were meant to be wrapped... or that you were meant to have a stocking... As a child you just go with whatever your parents provide as normal.

I was born in the early 60s and remember huge christmas gatherings, however it was all fairly simple, I know the women all shared food preparation, the men all went to the pub for an hour or 2, us kids played with what I can see now were very basic but well loved toys and games, the women all drank babycham and dubonnet or warniks advocat. There was a constant stream of food being put on the table, games in the afternoon and then the men stayed up really late playing cards. In those days no one seemed to drink to oblivion, someone would get 'tight' and either laugh or cry and then go to bed.

I have such fond memories of those chirstmas's, my DD and her family have very much the same kind of christmas days, a tiny house with us all crammed in, friends who would otherwise be on their own, lots of laughter etc, its wonderful.

I have the same memories of houses bursting at the seams, and although we still do big family Christmases (not so big this year, thanks Covid ) the numbers of children are more modest. Also, because we all have so much all year, the excitement of shiny new stuff is less.

Whenever I see threads on Mumsnet where people are sanctimoniously boasting that they are staying home on Christmas day "so the DC can play with their new toys instead of being dragged out to see relatives", I just think it is a really sad insight into their experience of family and Christmas.

Like pps our Christmas was always low key, just the nuclear family. The odd neighbour would pop in for a sherry and that was it.

This thread has really hit my nostalgia button. I too was a child who grew up in the 1970s and Christmas was magical, despite the fact that we weren't well off. Christmas Eve would be my mum making sausage rolls and Stollen from scratch, dad going to the pub for a couple of hours - with my mum's blessing, to get him from under her feet 🙂 - and my brother and I trying to find our presents. I loved the music, our 3 foot tall silver Christmas tree, family and neighbours who popped in for a drink or stayed for the day, and my mum's amazing trifle.

Christmas I have to admit is bittersweet for me now; I try my best for my DH and DCs, but I'm travelling to my home town today to lay a wreath on my parents' and brother's grave. How I wish I was going there for different reasons.

My mum is incredibly unsociable and also alcoholic so my parents did not create these Christmases for us. I was so jealous of the Christmasses you describe though and remember them well in the 80s
Unfortunately I couldn’t recreate this for my
Kids as my family don’t bother but the lead
up we always see loads of friends and have an open house.

Yes. Although we never really had a proper big family.
My family have moved away / died so my dc's will never get that proper family Xmas.

I loved Christmas when I was young.
The Parties my parents had were brilliant. My dad always gave me and my 5 siblings a shandy🍻🍻 I would have been about 6/7 🙈
I have a massive family mum was one of 10 dad was one of 8 at Hogmanay they all got together.
Every time I hear
Little old wine drinker - Dean Martin and
Crazy - Patsy Cline
I'm back in my mums living room listening to them singing their party pieces.

What you describe sounds lovely op but it is as seen through a child's eyes. You don't at that age think of the work that goes on hosting and creating such a lovely time. (It reminds me of Monica Dickens' Marianna, where Mary's memories of holidays at her grandparents' house didn't include the huge adult rows over the kids and the like)

We didn't have Christmases like yours. Still in the 70s, but my father had died, his family went NC with us (I didn't realise I actually had other cousins!), my gran was widowed so only one grandparent, my mum's sister and her family lived in another part of the UK, mum and stepfather not good hosts, we didn't have spare cash, etc. So altogether a different experience. Your childhood Christmases look like the ones in supermarket TV adverts!

You have been very lucky that you had that, and you have those memories to look back on.

One atrocious memory I have is the Christmas right after my mum's divorce came through and SF finally fucked off. We had our Christmas dinner laid out on the table, my mum looked at it and said "This is greed, not need". FFS. A) She chose it all and cooked it b) that was the sort of miseryguts comment my SF used to make, and we hoped to be finally free of that sort of shit, and c) it was actually rather meagre by ordinary standards, it's not like the table was groaning with peacocks' tongues and roast swan. There weren't even pigs in blankets FGS!

She's mellowed a bit but I still feel happier if we don't see her, she's harder work than I'd like at Christmas.

My childhood was magical. My Aunty did not have any children so fussed over me and my sister's taking us to see Father and to get a present for our parents and to see Xmas lights switched on in town. I have 4 sisters and we all dragged out stockings into my parents bed to open at about 6 O'clock. My Aunty and my Gran lived very close by and Xmas morning my Dad took us to my Aunties and Father Xmas had left us a stocking fill of pressies and goodies and then the same at my Grans half an hour later. Then they all came back to our house for Xmas lunch where we opened these stockings. They played he's with us all afternoon with our new toys and games. We had lots of chocolates around which we only ever got at Xmas. Then we watched a bit of TV then my Dad dragged us all for a Xmas walk. We had a buffet at 7pm. We always went to the Boxing Day panto and my Gran payed for us all to go. They were the best Xmas' of my life.

Yes on Christmas Day we visited my Nan and my cousins and uncle would be there too. So 8 of us in my nans tiny flat. Boxing Day was round at my other Nan and granddad. My dad was one of 5 so quite often they'd be 22 of us around the table. Great memories of lovely food, board games.

Now on Xmas day we spend the day just 4 of us and Boxing Day pretty much the same. Although some boxing days we go to Panto or to the shops. See wider family on the run up to Xmas

It's more to do with your own family than any anything. As a child I lived in a tiny nuclear family - no extended family at all, just Mum, Dad and us girls. Mum was an unpleasant woman who made everything about her, so Christmas was just another day when we crept around trying not to upset her. A tree in the corner was the only reminder of Christmas.

Now I make it all about the family - big tree, crazy decorations, anyone and everyone invited to have a meal with us. If you're mourning the happiness of your young Christmases, it's up to YOU to make that happen instead of moaning about "how it used to be" when someone else did it .

Someone else doing everything, exactly !

No seriously my childhood Christmases were quiet and somehow serious. We had nicer than normal food and some presents but we were quite poor so it was expected that we really, really appreciate everything (I mean I was thankful for getting a new jumper but it wasn't a Barbie doll !) and that didn't exactly add to the joyful atmosphere. It was just our family of four and I remember we argued every year.

No, my mum was a drunk and made a point of making every single Christmas as miserable as possible. Birthday’s too