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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to know what my toddler has done at nursery?

48 replies

NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:11

It’s a lovely nursery, no complaints BUT they often forget to update the app which tells me what he’s eaten and how much sleep he’s had, bottles and nappies.

I feel like That Parent every time I have to chase it. Tonight I’ve no clue what he’s eaten during the day and I do find it makes evenings a bit stressful.

OP posts:
Goldentimes · 23/12/2021 19:13

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Original poster
NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:14

It had nothing to do with me if we did Confused feel free to report!

OP posts:
seven201 · 23/12/2021 19:18

My dd's nursery as standard didn't tell us any of that. It was a bit frustrating and they'd try and answer if you asked. They were a lovely nursery otherwise. They would have said if there'd been some kind of issue during the day.

Original poster
NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:20

Thanks. Yes - they are a lovey nursery so I don’t want to be a pain. But I do feel like I should know what and how much he’s eaten and so on. Otherwise I don’t know what to offer at home.

OP posts:
MCMelon · 23/12/2021 19:21

YANBU. We have a book that is written in everyday with nappies, food and drink and a brief description of how they day has been.

Mittenmob · 23/12/2021 19:24

Just imagine it

  • ate dirt
  • smeared paint on face
  • chucked carrot sticks at friend
  • made a mud pie
  • climbed the shelf the shouldn't get to and chucked toys at nursery staff

Or is that just my DC? Grin

icklekid · 23/12/2021 19:26

I think the question is would you rather them being do paper/app admin for your child or playing/interacting with them? A quick handover / have they eaten ok today when you pick them up is surely easier? Then assume they’ve eaten fine and offer what you normally would in the eve?

Adventing · 23/12/2021 19:26

Often 'no news is good news' so if they don't tell you anything he probably had a good, typical day. But if they have an app in place they should be updating it and as you say it would be useful for you to know specifics e.g. what he's eaten

Theyellowflamingo · 23/12/2021 19:27

I think it’s fair to expect them to communicate things out of the ordinary - no nap at all, didn’t eat any lunch, injuries, massively upset etc - but wanting a daily breakdown of nappies, nap length, bottles etc is a bit precious for a toddler. I mean, surely you know that, for example, he’s had a hot meal at lunchtime (and could refer to the menu) and a snack tea, because that’s what they always have…

That said, there’s probably some ofsted thing that says they should and they do presumably tell parents about the app when they sign up, so if they say they’re going to do something they should.

Original poster
NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:28

I don’t have a ‘normally offer’ in the evening because he eats at nursery. But if he hasn’t eaten much of his tea then I know I probably need to cook something for him.

Of course I want them to interact with him, but I don’t really see it as an either / or. It’s difficult sorting meal times and bed times with no clue with what’s happened in the day.

OP posts:
Namirya · 23/12/2021 19:31

My DD is in a lovely tiny Montessori nursery. They do lots of activities outside and wholesome play, however they don't often update us on the tiny details (how much she ate etc) unless there is a problem.

Her previous nursery was huge on comparison and we got full reports at the end of each day. I still prefer her new one, I know she's happier there even though they are not as regimented.

Kmj2018 · 23/12/2021 19:32

At my daughters nursery they are quite good at giving us details about nap time and what they got up to and ate ect but on the occasion they would forget I would need to ask. This isn’t a problem for me as I feel like they have so many children to look after and appreciate they can forget. When you say chase them what do you mean by this? Are the pick ups not face to face?

CompetitiveMumming · 23/12/2021 19:33

yanbu. they should broadly say ate well, had 2 bottles of 180ml, napped 1.30-2.30.

Hercisback · 23/12/2021 19:33

Surely meals and bed are pretty standard and don't vary hugely. I have no idea what my kids eat at childcare/school. They have tea at home (or if they're eating at childcare some toast) then bed at 7pm.

Starcaller · 23/12/2021 19:33

Our nursery doesn't have an app. They do a quick handover and usually say what she had for lunch and whether she ate it (she always does so a bit superfluous!) and a couple of activities they did, but anything more detailed I would have to email them about or read about in the book we get home at the end of terms. I'm sure they would tell you more if you asked, but I imagine some parents (like me Grin) aren't interested in that level of detail, so perhaps they are just trying to find a balance.

I always think the apps must take a lot of time to reliably update during the day.

Theyellowflamingo · 23/12/2021 19:35

It might be a parenting difference - when I was home with mine I knew precisely what they’d eaten all day but it made no difference to my evening plan - if they’d not eaten much tea I certainly wasn’t cooking a second tea later! And bed time was bed time.

Yes, if you’re more responsive to daily changes than I was it would make sense you’d want to know.

NuffSaidSam · 23/12/2021 19:37

YANBU

But I wouldn't let it become stressful though. Just offer him a bit of toast/a banana, if he's hungry he'll eat it, if he isn't he won't. It's that simple. It doesn't need to be causing any real stress/making the evening difficult.

JakeyRolling · 23/12/2021 19:37

I get all that information at pick up.

I do wish their communication was better re events and parties etc - they tend to post the same week.

I also wish they sent me some photos - because of my work we don't allow DS to feature on their FB page but allow it on the app. There's loads of pics of other kids from his group on FB but none of home are ever sent to me.

MrsBudd · 23/12/2021 19:38

Our nursery has an a5 sheet they give out after each session. It's just got nappy changes (wet or soil and time changed), meals eaten (some, all, none), milk feeds (some, all, none) and times of naps taken. It's just a case of circling the info so I don't think it takes them long but it's very useful to me. Maybe worth suggesting something like that.

Mrsbrightside1 · 23/12/2021 19:38

In all honesty a lot of these routine reports are just fabricated as they don’t have time to be accurate. Having worked in such settings we’ve had staff go the extra mile by completing a whole week of reports for their key children before the days had even happened.

Original poster
NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:39

If your children are school age they can tell you if they are hungry and how hungry.

The app says what they ate and non, some, most or all. Then when he fell to sleep and when he woke up.

It does help and I feel embarrassed when I have to chase it! I don’t want to be the annoying parent.

OP posts:
Mrsbrightside1 · 23/12/2021 19:40

Also I would just see if your child is hungry and go on that in the evening rather than what nursery say

girlmom21 · 23/12/2021 19:41

YANBU.
We get a piece of paper every day with nap times, toiletting, meals and activities and then the app is used for developmental things.

Original poster
NellieEllieKelly · 23/12/2021 19:41

I don’t know, though - he’s not the best eater and only 12 months so can’t tell me Smile

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 23/12/2021 19:41

Oh and the staff run through the form with us at pick up.