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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you pay for a Reading Festival Ticket for 18yr old ?

99 replies

bankofmumdad2021 · 23/12/2021 12:16

Essentially that. We have an 18yr old who wanted a Reading Festival ticket for next year. We lent her the extra money she needed and have said she can use Christmas money and pocket money to pay back over time.
She is insisting that friend's parents are helping their sons/daughters out and paying for some of it.
We want to teach our 18yr old the value of money and think it is good for her to earn it. She is not going to have huge debts if she goes to Uni as we have provided a large savings account that she can use for that. So we feel it is important for her to want something and manage paying herself for this one.

What do others think?
Is It mean to make her pay the full amount?
Costs £260 I think.

OP posts:

FortunesFave · 23/12/2021 12:23

I think it's a tad mean to make her use Christmas money if you could afford to help her out.

I know what you're saying...it's a treat after all, not a necessary but still....I'd think of it like a holiday for her and you're contributing.

I wouldn't contribute to things like designer clothes...but an 18 year old student is still very much a child in some ways.

MasterBeth · 23/12/2021 12:25

All of ours had part-time jobs at 18 to pay for things like festival tickets.

Oblomov21 · 23/12/2021 12:25

I think it's mean. If you want your child to go to Reading, you either buy it as a post GCSE present, or a post A'level, and let them go with all their friends. Or don't bother.

MrzClaus · 23/12/2021 12:26

I think if that was the agreement, that was the agreement! This is probably being brought up now when actually giving you back some money is getting closer 😂 at that age, myself and my friends had part time jobs to pay for luxuries like tickets for events etc. I don't know anyone who's parents bought tickets, but this was 10 years ago!

user1471447924 · 23/12/2021 12:26

How is asking her to use Christmas money to pay you back any different from offering to pay for part of the ticket as a Christmas gift?

Ducksareruiningmypatio · 23/12/2021 12:28

I paid for my own ticket so that my parents had no say in it

HunterHearstHelmsley · 23/12/2021 12:29

It's not mean at all. If she wants to go then she needs to pay for the ticket. Its not like you're insisting that she go!

I'd expect her to have a part time job rather than pocket money.

SNUG2022 · 23/12/2021 12:30

Treat her but only because they've had a completely shit time. Teenagers need to be out there reclaiming their lost teenage years.

Original poster

bankofmumdad2021 · 23/12/2021 12:30

we are offering to pay for part of it as her Christmas gift

OP posts:

Bavarois · 23/12/2021 12:31

Pocket money at 18? Not really sure how she's 'earning' the ticket, you're still paying for it, just gradually. This actually seems a good opportunity to say you'll call the ticket a joint Christmas/birthday present and you'll be stopping pocket money.

Fiftyplanner · 23/12/2021 12:33

We bought our daughter’s Leeds ticket for this past summer for last Christmas. She now has a part time job and has bought her own ticket for next summer, although still gets pocket money/ Christmas and birthday money that can go towards it.

Like the OP, we will be paying all DD’s uni accommodation and basic living expenses as have saved and budgeted for these so don’t think it’s unreasonable to pay for a festival ticket.

Westfacing · 23/12/2021 12:33

You say you've provided a large savings account for her if she goes to university - so why quibble about a contribution to a festival ticket?

Most students don't start uni with a large savings account, so you're not really teaching her the value of money.

RosesAndHellebores · 23/12/2021 12:33

Yes we paid. It's a rite of passage like the ghastly week in Crete.

NorthSouthcatlady · 23/12/2021 12:34

Why did she make the agreement with you, if she doesn’t want to do it? What other people are getting isn’t relevant. Surely she had a part time job and can pay for it that way

HW1989 · 23/12/2021 12:35

I had small jobs from age 13 and always paid for things like that myself. Wouldn’t have dreamt of asking my parents for that kind of thing unless it was in part an Xmas or bday present. Teaches the value of things and 18 is old enough to have a job and certainly pay for non essential things that are wanted.

dreamingofsun · 23/12/2021 12:39

i'm surprised how many people are saying you should pay. our kids covered the cost of things like this themselves once they got to 18. our view is that they are adults and can get PT jobs to cover luxuries and it helps them manage money better. We too covered a lot of the uni costs.

EurghCobwebs · 23/12/2021 12:40

I paid for my own Reading festival ticket when I was 16. But then again I was hard-working and paid for my own way in life, which judging by MN posts isn't the done thing nowadays.

alloalloallo · 23/12/2021 12:41

My daughter had her Reading Festival ticket as an 18th birthday gift.

I don’t mind buying the ticket as a birthday or Christmas present, but I wouldn’t pay for it just because.

DD was half talking about next year, but her and her friends couldn’t decide. They do a payment plan anyway so she doesn’t have to front up the whole amount in one go

Halloweencat · 23/12/2021 12:45

If you can afford it pay for the whole lot, and have her pay you back when she's in a position to. We've all had a rough time, students education has suffered tremendously and they need a release. Going on their first holiday abroad or a festival with their friends is a rite of passage. I would have hated for my kids to be stuck at home while their friends are off on their first jaunt. It's a moment in life that they will never get back.
Have her do jobs around the house for you that she wouldn't normally do, so she's earning some of it.
It is possible to treat your teenagers to something so big and still teach them the value of money and to be appreciative. Under 18 year old can't really work that many hours so it might be difficult for them to build up the funds to go on their first jaunt with their friends. I lent my son the money to go on his first abroad holiday with friends and he had a great time. As soon as he started earning regularly a payment plan was drawn up between us and he paid everything back on time. If you can afford it, and she's a responsible teenager I would help her to go

Kite22 · 23/12/2021 12:45

Pocket money at 18?

We felt it fair to give each of ours their pocket money until the end of the school year, regardless of which month their birthday was. I don't think it is that strange.

YANBU at all to expect her to pay for something like that. It is about learning to budget, and to prioritise..... ie, learning a life skill.
If she thinks going to Reading is worth it, then she won't mind spending less on other 'pleasures' (whether that is clothes, makeup, nails etc or going out or driving lessons or going elsewhere). If she doesn't want to trim her spending elsewhere, then she clearly isn't that keen on going to Reading. That is exactly what budgeting is about.
She also has the option to go out and earn the money she needs.

Bavarois · 23/12/2021 12:56

Pocket money above 16 seems odd to me, it's a very childish concept. Everyone I know had a part time job by the age of 17 (proudly earning about £100 a month for 9 hours work a week). But then as per PP @EurghCobwebs we paid our own way in life and didn't expect to be bankrolled by our parents. See also large savings account for uni.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 23/12/2021 13:01

It feels like a lot more kids get this stuff bought for them these days, but that could be my age talking. I bought my own Glastonbury tickets at that age, like a pp I would not have dreamed of asking my parents and they would never have given me the money either way. I remember being envious of people going to Ibiza and my parents wouldn’t have entertained finding it for a second.
However, it could be a Xmas gift I suppose instead of other things.

Keke94LND · 23/12/2021 13:13

My initial thought is why doesn't she have a job?? But then I suppose she would have been 16 when the pandemic started so wasn't able to get a job? If this is the case then I would maybe be inclined to buy it for her just so she can actually have some fun with her friends which she hasn't been able to do for the past 2 years

Kite22 · 23/12/2021 13:22

@Bavarois - Mine did all work in 6th form. Mine do all pay their way in life. But I wasn't going to penalise them for getting off their backsides and getting jobs. Whilst they were still at school, we were happy to provide our dc with a small amount of pocket money (if it matters, a tiny fraction of the amounts I often see mentioned on the 'how much pocket money' threads), and they then had the choice of adding to it by working.
Mine paid for their own driving lessons, and any gigs and festivals they went to. They got the 'feel' for how many hours of a not particularly enjoyable job = one gig or one festival.

My initial thought is why doesn't she have a job?? But then I suppose she would have been 16 when the pandemic started so wasn't able to get a job?

I know some people that lost hospitality jobs and retail jobs due to the pandemic, but I also now others that got jobs (supermarket internet picking for example) due to additional staff being taken on because of the pandemic. This Autumn though, hospitality in particular have been desperate to try and recruit staff.

ReallyReallyReally · 23/12/2021 13:24

My DS has a PT job, but we still decided to buy him a ticket for his Christmas present. He went last year and had a fab time. It will be a great "holiday" to have post A levels and pre-University.

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