Would you pay for a Reading Festival Ticket for 18yr old ?

[bankofmumdad2021]

Essentially that. We have an 18yr old who wanted a Reading Festival ticket for next year. We lent her the extra money she needed and have said she can use Christmas money and pocket money to pay back over time.
She is insisting that friend's parents are helping their sons/daughters out and paying for some of it.
We want to teach our 18yr old the value of money and think it is good for her to earn it. She is not going to have huge debts if she goes to Uni as we have provided a large savings account that she can use for that. So we feel it is important for her to want something and manage paying herself for this one.

What do others think?
Is It mean to make her pay the full amount?
Costs £260 I think.

I would happily pay as a treat ( and I did so for my eldest - I offered) so long as she didn't expect it. Though if she started saying/suggesting that other parents were paying, and maybe I should too. Not a chance. Ask/expect it and you don't get.

Under 18 year old can't really work that many hours so it might be difficult for them to build up the funds to go on their first jaunt with their friends.

From 16, my dd could earn £300 in a holiday week, lifeguarding. Even with jobs that pay less, it wouldn't take that long to save £260 if the goal were important to you.

Why can't they still have things like this bought as presents even if they have a job?
Well, they can if your family spend that sort of amount on Christmas presents, but many, many families (incl the OP's) don't spend anything like that amount.

@Kite22 the fact that the op states that they have provided a large savings account for university indicates that maybe money isn't an issue. Obviously I appreciate not everyone can spend that kind of money on a present.

wow lots of opinions to think about.
She has the ticket, paid a large chunk of it and just a little to pay us back as her Christmas gift from us included.
She doesn't have a job as A level workload intense and just hardly anything around here at all. We give her a generous monthly allowance or pocket money call it what you like. So don't think she is hard done by at all.

Both my children went post GCSEs and we gave them the tix for Christmas (as was the case with most of their friends). Youngest going again next year and is paying for their tix

If you can afford it why not treat her? We paid for our children as a reward for working hard at school….worth every penny!

Not at all. Its completely up to you what you decide to gift to your daughter, that's the point of a gift, the giver decides. There's no right answer, but as your instinct was to make her repay you, I'd stick with that as thats obviously what you consider fair.

In your op you said you wanted her to earn it but from your update it sounds like you just give her a big monthly allowance that you want to use. That's not really her earning it/teaching her the value of money anyway.

My 16 year old just bought her own ticket. With money she earned from part time job. Her peers did the same although some of them may have had a bit of help.
It’s up to you. I wouldn’t.

Both mine went once each between the ages of 16 and 18, we paid for the ticket. Neither of our DC had jobs whilst at school, although they did work in the Summer holidays.

They have since been to others (not Reading) and paid for their own by working. They are students.

Not mean at all. It'll show her if she wants something enough she has to work out how to get it.

Yes it's mean. If you can afford to, pay for the ticket. I feel so sorry for youngsters and everything they've been through with covid ..missed proms..being locked in to their halls of residence etc etc. I treat my 2 whenever I can. It doesn't mean they don't understand the value of money. They are the most humble, down to earth kids you could meet. I can never understand it when parents try to make their kids lives more difficult than it needs to be. Life will do that to them anyway without our help!!

Yes, mine went and loved it at 18. That I said she has very good friends and it was a big group, around 40 from her school

We paid for this kind of thing as a Christmas or birthday present . Certainly wouldn't have funded outside of this .

I bought festival tickets for mine when they were that age.
They didnt have much money so why not treat them if you can afford to is my view.

Not mean at all. It'll show her if she wants something enough she has to work out how to get it.

Quite.

I have no issue with parents who choose to buy them, but equally, it isn't a case of "if you can afford it" being that simple.

I have that money in the bank, but I would take into account the fact I have 3dc and I have other priorities that I think are a better use of the money.

I mean, after the stories I heard about Reading last year, and then the thread where so many matter of factly reported that people 'torching' other people's tents was so common place and ordinary, along with other stories, I actually wouldn't be keen on my dc going anyway, but that aside, I think if they are mature enough to go to a music festival then they should be mature enough to understand that money is finite, and that I would be happy to give them the value of their usual Christmas present in cash, it is up to them to choose if that is how they want to spend it. But it is that, a choice, and if they choose one thing, then they will have spent the money so then can't have the other.

It seems a bit counterintuitive to expect her to learn the value of money by buying a £250 ticket but giving her enough money to live on for several years at uni.

I don't get that everything has to be a " life lesson" with teenagers tbh. Sometimes it's nice to be nice just because!🤷‍♀️
That was my attitude when they were teens and it has paid dividends as young adults with their attitude ad relationship towards us now.

My dd got pm and had a part time job so would pay for those things herself. We really couldn't afford to help out. But yeah a lot of her friends parents would pay for that stuff. I think it's a great Xmas pressie tho.

That's what we've got our two for Christmas. Weekend camping ticket each and a £60 tent. Poor kids have had a terrible time. They deserve some serious fun.

I bought my first Reading ticket aged 14. I just walked into HMV and paid for it from my Saturday job (started aged 13). Same every festival going forward. However things were very different then, I could get a Saturday job aged 13 and going to festivals was not a 'right of passage'- just something kids into music did. I am 45 now, so not that ancient.

Either give it as a gift or make your DC pay for it. At 18 your DC should be starting to work out how to manage and spend money. It is not like the old days. I had a Saturday job from 13 and basicaĺly worked full time alongside my degree/masters PHD. My parents stopped my pocket money as soon as I got a job, this is how they were raised. I know I am far too indulgent with my DC and this does not help them in the long run

I've bought tickets for Leeds for my dd and ds. Mainly because dd will have just done her gcses and ds missed his 18th this year because he had covid; he also missed his school prom etc because of Covid. Teens have missed out on so much over the past 2 years; and festivals are a bit like rites of passage. Personally, I think if you can afford it then it would be nice to treat her.

I know I am far too indulgent with my DC and this does not help them in the long run
How do you know it diesnt help? I don't think there anything wrong in indulging as long as everything else is ok, eg a good work ethic, healthy boundaries, constantly good behaviour etc.

I’d buy it as a present - birthday or Christmas (or joint). I wouldn’t just buy it outright.

Both DD and DS paid for theirs from their part time jobs. Both went after GCSEs. I gave money for food etc but they paid for the bulk of it. They have had jobs since they were 16 and are glad of their own income and gaining work experience. Many of their friends have no work experience and have struggled to get jobs.