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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

3.2 year old not toilet trained

27 replies

Pavers · 22/12/2021 22:03

He turned 3 in October and we started trying this week, it’s been a disaster and he’s regressed a bit too, wants to “be a baby” in his words and he’s very attached to his nappies/pull ups.

He doesn’t seem to have the thing in his head that tells him that he needs a wee or poo, he can tell us after he’s done it, but not before.

We have reward stickers, chocolate buttons, not sure what else to do.

OP posts:
CrazyOldBagLady · 22/12/2021 22:05

Try again when the weather is better and he can run about the garden with no pants on?

Treaclepie19 · 22/12/2021 22:06

My ds struggled with toilet training as well.
We felt very pushed into it because of his school nursery but kept with it and eventually he got there. I think if it had been up to him he never would've left nappies.

hopingforabrighterfuture2021 · 22/12/2021 22:07

Leave it a bit longer. Enjoy Christmas without the stress. Flowers

PanicBuyingSprouts · 22/12/2021 22:08

Try again when the weather is better and he can run about the garden with no pants on?

Definitely this or if you can't wait that long, have a clear break, then take him shopping for some "big boy pants" and try again.

Cornishbelle · 22/12/2021 22:08

This was us two months ago with dd who was 3.2 at the time. Fast forward and she woke up around 3 weeks back wanted to wear big girl pants and that was it. Wish I'd saved us the stress I truly believe unless there a re additional needs when they know it's time they will just do it x

babbi · 22/12/2021 22:08

Chill out and don’t stress whatever you do .
He will get there in his own time .
Wait until the better weather as PP said .
This isn’t a good week to try anyway … too much more fun things going on that are a distraction 😊

Please don’t spoil a good family week by taking this on ..
I found toilet training the hardest part of motherhood without question .

Enjoy Xmas with your little boy .

Snowywintersundays123 · 22/12/2021 22:09

My DS was 3yrs 4 months, came home from nursery one day declared he wanted to wear pants and literally overnight he was dry through the night.we’d tried potty training numerous times with no luck, nursery said just let him in his own time. It worked. Give up relax over CHristmas…. And wait a little longer

LittleMG · 22/12/2021 22:10

You are not alone. I have the dearest, brightest little boy 3 in Nov but wants to ‘be a baby’. He will cry for his nappy so he can have a poo! I’m going to try again in the new year. This will be my 3/4 attempt.

Snowywintersundays123 · 22/12/2021 22:10

Aww @Cornishbelle ours were very similar in that they just decided one day!

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/12/2021 22:12

Give up nappies- stop sending mixed messages that he has an option
Don’t rely on him responding to your question, you train him to know to wee. “Right let’s go try for a wee as you’ve woken up” “right let’s go to the loo and once you’ve done a wee we can go to the park”.
A 3 year old without sen is ready- you just need consistent clear communication with him on the matter

Shmithecat2 · 22/12/2021 22:12

There's nothing more to this than he's just not ready. Leave it and try again in the new year.

Amarap · 22/12/2021 22:13

My daughter was 3.5 months when it just clicked. She just wasn’t ready before then.

Chipsahoy · 22/12/2021 22:13

Mine was three in May. He regressed after we moved house. He now won’t poop in the toilet but manages all wees without accident. Just try again after Christmas. No stress or pressure for him, honestly he’s not going to be 15 and still in nappies.

EncroachingLoaf · 22/12/2021 22:13

Don't worry, my youngest was similar and resisted it so much! We just kept on with it, gently, and gradually he became more accepting of the idea. Then it felt like something clicked in his head and he just got it. Takes himself to the toilet now though you'd never have believed he would a few months ago. I'm sure you'll get there, I would leave it until after christmas and try again.

DSGR · 22/12/2021 22:14

He’s not that old. My dd toilet trained herself at 2, both my sons were nearly 4. Just leave it and don’t stress him out. I’d try again in April/May when he can have nappy off time in the garden. There’s no law on when children should be trained

mrsed1987 · 22/12/2021 22:25

My little boy is 3 in January. I tried in October as nursery told me that they thought he was ready... He wasn't. It was littrally the most stressful time so we stopped. We have left the potty out and do ask him if he wants to sit on it, sometimes he does but it's hit and miss. I'm just going to wait and keep on talking about the potty and that nappies will go soon and then he will be a big boy etc etc. Don't feel pressured.

Heartofglass12345 · 22/12/2021 22:28

What does he do when he doesn't have a nappy on? My son was around the same age when we started but he would go 3-4 hours before going to the toilet and would go when we told him to. It took him around a month to be able to tell us when he needed to go though.

Thatsplentyjack · 22/12/2021 22:29

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Give up nappies- stop sending mixed messages that he has an option Don’t rely on him responding to your question, you train him to know to wee. “Right let’s go try for a wee as you’ve woken up” “right let’s go to the loo and once you’ve done a wee we can go to the park”. A 3 year old without sen is ready- you just need consistent clear communication with him on the matter
Absolutely agree with this. Unless there is sen, or youbthink there might be, there really is no reason an over 3 year old can't be toilet trained. No more Nappies or pull ups. If he does the toilet in his pants you tell him that's not OK, and that poos and pees go in the toilet.
mayblossominapril · 22/12/2021 22:33

Try again in a couple of months. With DS I tried at 2.5, 3, 3 and a bit, it finally worked at 3.5. If he’s not going to school for two years you’ve got loads of time. I was panicking slightly because mines a summer born but he was fine way before September.
All children are different Dd is happily weeing on the potty at 16 months

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 22/12/2021 22:34

Wait until May.

He'll get there. He's just not ready yet.

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 22/12/2021 22:35

Ds1 and DS2 were both 3years 6months when they potty trained.

Heartofglass12345 · 22/12/2021 23:21

I just remembered as well that he would still wear a nappy to bed for a while and would only poo in that until we downloaded poo goes to pooland- a game changer! We would wave goodbye to it and everything Grin

Sometimeswinning · 22/12/2021 23:52

I'd personally push on with it. It's been a week! You maybe need to relax a bit, the holidays are the best time to do these things.

SummerInSun · 23/12/2021 14:19

Really, really, really not a big deal. My DSs were both closer to 3 1/2. That's really normal for boys. There are no prizes for toilet training earlier rather than later. And no one does better or worse in life because they weren't fully trained until 4 rather than 3.

If it worries you, you could find a quiet week in the new year and try one of those plans where you do nothing for a week other than toilet training, but why put you and him through it if he isn't ready, especially in winter?

VapeVamp12 · 23/12/2021 14:43

No more Nappies or pull ups. If he does the toilet in his pants you tell him that's not OK, and that poos and pees go in the toilet.

Please don't do this! It'll stress him out. He's not ready.