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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby vomit everywhere and cancelling plans

72 replies

vomvomandmoreeffingvom · 22/12/2021 18:30

So, bit of background to my AIBU...
Me, DH and 15m DD have all been unwell this last week with DandV, flu and a cold. It's been shit, suffice to say. Exploding nappies last week at 3am, broken sleep, 4 bloody washes a day every day since etc.
So, she went to nursery today as she hasn't been sick for 2 full days now (part time nursery, part time with my parents). Me and DH still feeling shit so he's been off today while she's at nursery and I'm off as I work term time. We've just spent today wrapping presents finally and recovering a bit, still getting over an awful flu that wiped me out last week, feeling like I may be 80% better tomorrow. (Not covid numerous tests done)

Today DD comes home and DH is making her tea using the food prep soup I do. I say to him, that's too much (not because she won't eat it but more because she hasn't eaten so well the last week due to her illness and her tummy will be adjusting). He says, oh but she's so hungry poor thing. He makes her the big portion of soup which is more than she would usually eat. Bearing in mind she also has the other aspects of her meal such as toast, fruit etc.
In the 5 mins after eating it she then vomits it all up everywhere.

I had made plans with different friends all this week, all of which have been cancelled due to recovering and waiting for covid results. My last set of plans were tomorrow, really looking forward to catching up with this friend, as I usually only see her term time breaks, plus I planned it for when DD was at nursery so we could really catch up. I was hoping to have something nice to do and hoping I'd feel mostly better tomorrow. Nursery is closed after tomorrow so it's my last chance to see a friend while I am truly child free in the daytime really.

DH is now acting as if I should cancel tomorrow as he has obviously planned to return to work tomorrow after his few days off.

I am feeling really put out and in anger have said to him he can take another day off and I don't care if it looks bad to his work. Dramatic maybe. Justified? Only AIBU can say....

OP posts:

NeedsCharging · 22/12/2021 20:53

I would lay on the guilt / it’s his fault she was sick and you have to postpone plans

But it's not his fault. Would you advise a man to be this emotionally abusive?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 22/12/2021 20:57

Either DD is still sick and has been all along (therefore shouldn't have gone back to nursery in the first place), or it was because she ate too much and nothing to do with the sickness.

This! I think the over feeding is a red herring too.

With common sense, if she was well enough to go today, she’s well enough to go tomorrow. If she was sick because she was ill, ie contagious, feeding her less so she doesn’t vomit doesn’t make her less contagious.

PrivateHall · 22/12/2021 21:04

Sorry op, but this is all a fuss about nothing really. Given you say it was just an outdoor walk, there's no reason why you couldn't have brought dd in the buggy, some fresh air would do her the world of good. Just wrap her up well. I don't really get the blaming DH thing, it really isn't normal for a 'well' child to overeat until they are sick, is it? Can't say any of mine have ever done that. I doubt he force fed her Anyway it sounds like you went ahead and cancelled for whatever reason, so its done now!

HardbackWriter · 22/12/2021 21:11

@Thevoiceofreason2021

I would lay on the guilt / it’s his fault she was sick and you have to postpone plans. And then plan a proper catch up after the Xmas holidays. I can understand how fed up you are but with your recent sickness you probably shouldn’t be meeting your friend anyway and who wants to risk picking up covid for Xmas?

Do you find that your relationships are happy, long-lived ones?

Sometimeswinning · 22/12/2021 21:17

Dh and I thought our dd was better until she threw up in the most public place (our own fault) We then decided fairly that he had taken 1 day off from work so I would take the second day off work. Social plans would have been first to be scrapped. It's tough but you do come across as slightly self involved.

Cascais · 22/12/2021 21:27

Yabu

WonderfulYou · 22/12/2021 21:33

If you think your DD isn’t sick why not invite your friend over to yours?
It’s not as fun as going out but at least she’ll be entertained with her toys whilst you guys can have a catch up.

Then in a few days you can arrange to meet on a weekend when your DH isn’t at work.

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 22/12/2021 21:33

Chances are by sending your daughter to nursery today too, she has passed the bug onto other children, who will no doubt be unwell on Christmas Day

Original poster

vomvomandmoreeffingvom · 23/12/2021 06:29

@CharlotteGoldenblattYork Sorry but you really are indicating that I knew she was sick when I sent her in yesterday. She was sick on Saturday, D&V. Sunday sick a small amount in the AM. Kept her at home with me Monday Tuesday, no vomit or dodgy nappies, starting to eat again. So sent her in on Wednesday. They say 48 hours clear before sending them in, that is exactly what I followed. So if any children get sick then that is not on my conscience because I felt she was well again and followed guidance!

For those who keep saying 'red herring' - if you have been sick last week, and are fine a few days later. Do you stuff yourself or let your stomach recover with smaller meals??? She did overeat as soup is her absolute fave. She would have been fine with half the amount, some plain toast, and some fruit.

OP posts:

Original poster

vomvomandmoreeffingvom · 23/12/2021 06:32

For those who recognise that DH was in fact in the wrong thank you. I won't be laying on the guilt as he does recognise he shouldn't have fed her so much soup when I said not to! And he shouldn't just let her have her REGULAR amount of soup that she usually does and some toast

OP posts:

Original poster

vomvomandmoreeffingvom · 23/12/2021 06:32

Should have *

OP posts:

PinkWaferBiscuit · 23/12/2021 06:36

For those who recognise that DH was in fact in the wrong thank you.

So basically. Thank you to everyone who agreed with me even though I asked if I was being unreasonable what I actually meant was I know I'm right and I want people to agree with me.

icedcoffees · 23/12/2021 06:40

@PinkWaferBiscuit

For those who recognise that DH was in fact in the wrong thank you.

So basically. Thank you to everyone who agreed with me even though I asked if I was being unreasonable what I actually meant was I know I'm right and I want people to agree with me.

Pretty much

GiveMeNovocain · 23/12/2021 06:43

If a large bowl of soup makes you throw up twice, hours apart, you're still ill

TicTacHoh · 23/12/2021 06:44

@GiveMeNovocain

If a large bowl of soup makes you throw up twice, hours apart, you're still ill

Was just about to say this. There are so many bugs that seem to disappear and come back after a few days at the moment.

ShowOfHands · 23/12/2021 06:45

Medical advice is to let children eat to appetite after sickness bugs. You don't restrict their food intake. It's really common for children to look better for 2 or 3 days and then symptoms reappear. It's incredibly frustrating and believe me, after 14yrs of parenting and plans cancelled due to child sickness with alarming regularity, I get it. But it's not your DH's fault.

You are cross and miserable so not able to take this on board right now but you will.

And I do agree that you really shouldn't be seeing your friend anyway. Not when you've all been so ill and Christmas imminent.

sparklytriceratops · 23/12/2021 06:45

I know it's not want you want to hear, but welcome to parenting. There have been similar times where I've been on my knees and wishing I could send mine into nursery (this week included) but it's just not worth the risk of infecting others and isn't fair on your child who will still be feeling tired and run down after their illness.

I wouldn't be sending them into nursery at the moment with covid rates so high just before Christmas.

Can you recruit DH to help you with Christmas stuff after work this evening?

Between DH and me we've managed to prep pretty much all the Christmas stuff and we've kept our 23 month old and 8 month old at home all week long as didn't want them to catch covid. DH has been working. It's been hard but worth it.

icedcoffees · 23/12/2021 07:05

@GiveMeNovocain

If a large bowl of soup makes you throw up twice, hours apart, you're still ill

No - according to OP, it means her husband messed up

Abitlost2 · 23/12/2021 08:24

I feel for you op but also feel when you said you had the day off to recover that it would have been nice if your DC did too. Nursery if full-on and no room to chill for a little one. Giving our bodies time to recover is really important and as a parent of 3 DC's with zero family support at all me and DH know this v v well.
It is disappointing but in the early years with 3 DC's we had to just deal with it as prioritise our dcs.

maddening · 23/12/2021 08:27

See if your parents might help? I know mine would if they could to allow me to enjoy a bit of social time.

Abitlost2 · 23/12/2021 08:30

It sounds like your lo is still under the weather and needs to chill. I would defo also wrap my up v snuggly and go for a walk.
Also my DH swap over a lot so go running, meet friends etc at weekends. Our dcs are older now and at 37 we have our lives back so there is hope! Although if you had other DC's it'll be a while off but yes we had to cancel plans etc and have a little disappointments along the way but happy to have 3 DC's and out of the early years now and back to doing things again.

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 23/12/2021 13:03

@maddening

See if your parents might help? I know mine would if they could to allow me to enjoy a bit of social time.

Yeah, why not pass on a stomach bug to elderly parents, too! Let them enjoy a bit of Christmas vomiting

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