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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask you to pray for my 42 year old friend & her c-section

79 replies

JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 18:00

An old friend of mine is due to have a C-section. I'm really worried for her and her baby.

Would it be ok to ask you to pray for her and her daughter?

She's one of the kindest people. She works helping vulnerable adults find stable homes/furniture and teach them basic lifeskills.

Have a peaceful Christmas x

OP posts:
Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:34

@thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear

why are so many voting YABU?

I did. My reasons were that prayer obviously won’t make a difference - it’s good medical care that will. It’s lovely that the OP is thoughtful about her friend, but I hope she’s not passing any of her worries on to her.

OP I hope all goes well for your friend and her baby. It’s certainly harder recovering from a CS for some older women (I also had one at 42) - it’ll be lovely for your friend to have your help and support afterwards if she needs it.

In England, we have poorer maternal outcomes sadly than other similar countries. We don't have anywhere near enough mw's.
OP posts:
PurplePansy05 · 22/12/2021 20:34

All my positive vibes to your friend and her little one Flowers Keeping everything crossed all is and will be ok. You're a good friend, OP Flowers Keep looking after her and her little one xxx

Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:35

@WorraLiberty Genuine question - why? I just want the best for them both xx

OP posts:
PurplePansy05 · 22/12/2021 20:37

FWIW, I had constant worries about my DS starting from 25 weeks pregnant and everything turned out OK. I had 3 miscarriages before him as well, so the whole thing was a constant prayer for a positive outcome tbh. He was born by C-section too. It went really well and the recovery wasn't bad (I'm mid 30-s). I hope all goes well for your friend and baby ❤

Mum2jenny · 22/12/2021 20:38

Praying is unlikely to hurt anyone. I will pray for the safe delivery of your friend’s baby. Best wishes xx

Clymene · 22/12/2021 20:42

I had my last baby when I was 42 15 years ago. No one said anything about my age, not once through the pregnancy.

I'm sad that your friend has had a different experience

Lottiethelemming · 22/12/2021 20:47

Prayers and love from me OP. I hope all goes well. What a lovely Christmas present in these times. God Bless you all x

covilha · 22/12/2021 21:07

Prayer said x

Tempnamelady · 22/12/2021 21:12

Praying here x

LifeOfBriony · 22/12/2021 21:17

Prayers from me too x

santabetterwashhishands · 22/12/2021 21:17

I had a csection at that age and was absolutely fine x
I hope mum and baby have a speedy recovery

saoirse31 · 22/12/2021 21:20

Lovely time we live in, only 50% are finding ops request reasonable. It's beyond me as someone who totally does not believe in any god, how people would find concern for a friend about to give birth as not reasonable... Hope your friend and her baby are ok op, best wishes to them both.

2Gen · 22/12/2021 21:28

It's never unreasonable to ask for prayers, or , if people are not religious, their good wishes. I am religious so, of course I'll pray for your friend, her child and you! God bless ye all and have a happy Christmas!

LowlandLucky · 22/12/2021 21:30

I will add you, your friend and her baby to my prayers tonight x

2Gen · 22/12/2021 21:30

p.s. I had to have a Caesarian too and I was grand, up and about pretty much the next day!

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 22/12/2021 21:33

@PeaceONoeuf

Quite a bit of identifying information if it’s true op - does she know you’re posting this?
Identifying information?

Behave

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 22/12/2021 21:50

She's 42, not 62.

I'm sorry she's feeling upset by the Drs though.

If I start praying the sky may fall in. But I'm sending lots of love & good thoughts!!

Xx

Mum2jenny · 22/12/2021 22:14

Praying is not a forbidden option surely. Please be kind to other posters. I wish the OP and her friend positive thoughts.

Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 22:15

Thank you for your prayers and well wishes.

I had three threatened miscarriages and I guess pregnancy scares me. When I was in nursery, a classmates Mum miscarried and sadly passed. Do think pregnancy and birth scare me more than they should.

She will be fine. I need to think positive and go buy her something for her bundle of joy.

OP posts:
dillydallydollydaydream7 · 22/12/2021 22:21

She is in my prayers OP, and hopefully soon it will all be over and she will be holding her bundle of joy Thanks

Whybot · 22/12/2021 22:48

Of course , praying now.
You’re a good friend .

WorraLiberty · 22/12/2021 23:00

[quote JingleBellez]@WorraLiberty Genuine question - why? I just want the best for them both xx[/quote]
I don't know, it was just a guess at the previous poster's question - "Why are some people voting YABU?"

There was a thread on here not so long ago, about people on social media who glean attention from other people's problems/woes. There was a name for it that I can't remember but it basically meant attention seeking by proxy.

So that's possibly a reason. Either that or they're anti religion and can't seem to scroll past for some reason.

All the best to your mate and just to add (as others have said) the term 'geriatric' is not unkind and it's a term that's been used for years for pregnant mothers over a certain (still young) age.

needmoreshinys · 22/12/2021 23:35

@NovemberNovemberDarkNights

There are roughly 1682 births a day in England and Wales, of those 80 of them are over 40, then you add in that we know what the friend does for a living, out of those 80 how many do you think do the same job? Or having a C' section, so yes the little information can be very identifiable

Rocaille · 22/12/2021 23:57

I'll pray for your friend and her baby. x

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 23/12/2021 00:24

[quote needmoreshinys]@NovemberNovemberDarkNights

There are roughly 1682 births a day in England and Wales, of those 80 of them are over 40, then you add in that we know what the friend does for a living, out of those 80 how many do you think do the same job? Or having a C' section, so yes the little information can be very identifiable[/quote]
And how many people, exactly, would be able to access any of that information, let alone enough to identify someone?

Massively over the top reaction.