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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to ask you to pray for my 42 year old friend & her c-section

79 replies

JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 18:00

An old friend of mine is due to have a C-section. I'm really worried for her and her baby.

Would it be ok to ask you to pray for her and her daughter?

She's one of the kindest people. She works helping vulnerable adults find stable homes/furniture and teach them basic lifeskills.

Have a peaceful Christmas x

OP posts:
Trixiethewhore · 22/12/2021 18:55

@godmum56

why are so many voting YABU?

Probably because prayers are nonsense and have zero baring on any outcome.

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 22/12/2021 18:55

why are so many voting YABU?

I did. My reasons were that prayer obviously won’t make a difference - it’s good medical care that will. It’s lovely that the OP is thoughtful about her friend, but I hope she’s not passing any of her worries on to her.

OP I hope all goes well for your friend and her baby. It’s certainly harder recovering from a CS for some older women (I also had one at 42) - it’ll be lovely for your friend to have your help and support afterwards if she needs it.

PeaceONoeuf · 22/12/2021 18:56

Quite a bit of identifying information if it’s true op - does she know you’re posting this?

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 22/12/2021 18:57

Would so love to lay a curse on those doctors who were unkind about your friend's age. How rude, and completely unnecessary. Just shut up and do your best for your patient, ye gits.

I think I’d want to know what exactly was said before making such remarks.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/12/2021 18:59

@groovergirl

I'll say a little prayer as well. Childbirth is an ordeal at any age. I had a c-section at 42 as I had severe pre-eclampsia.

Would so love to lay a curse on those doctors who were unkind about your friend's age. How rude, and completely unnecessary. Just shut up and do your best for your patient, ye gits.

If you believe in one (prayer), then you realise that you are wishing ill upon the people who will actually be delivering the child?

Seems maliciously counterproductive to me.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 22/12/2021 19:05

Prayers sent OP, wishing everything works out for the best.

diamondpony80 · 22/12/2021 19:12

I believe in the power of prayer. Prayer said for your friend.

Fink · 22/12/2021 19:16

Of course, will pray for them both.

LostForIdeas · 22/12/2021 19:23

@Trixiethewhore and some people like you just lack compassion….

@JingleBellez like some others I couldn’t pray for your friend but I really hope that everything will go well and she and the baby will be ok.

Prescottdanni123 · 22/12/2021 19:37

Praying for the safe birth of healthy baby and quick recovery for the mother.

The doctors need to join us in the 21st century. It is not uncommon for women to give birth in their forties anymore.

Hawkins001 · 22/12/2021 19:44

All the best and positivity, at present medical sciences has improved quite a lot over the year's,

MrsColon · 22/12/2021 19:58

This thread really illustrates how MN has changed over 15 years - a decade ago, people who weren't religious would scroll on by, acknowledging that this wasn't the thread for them.

Now, the heartless pricks can't seem to help themselves from posting condescending, patronising shite to an OP that is clearly incredibly upset and worried about a friend. The dickheads are so sure that the internet needs to hear their personal views on the issue that they're happy to completely ignore the fact that the OP was a very inoffensive plea for prayer, not a dogmatic lecture.

Sad
Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 19:59

@EarringsandLipstick

I wish your friend well. There's no reason to worry about the section at all, and her age isn't relevant. Hopefully there won't be any significant issues with the baby.

I'm interested in the comment about doctors not being kind about her age. What did they say exactly? They may have commented on her age in the sense that she is an older mother & therefore it's important to factor that into decision-making. That would be more factual than unkind?

I think cause they were unkind/unpleasant to her over her age. I dislike them immediately for making a Mother uncomfortable at a vulnerable time.

She said "they were funny about her age" - implying she was over the hill. I had my daughter at 35 in the nearest hospital to where she is having hers. Also got attitude. I told them to belt up and if baba had additional needs we'd roll with it. "Geriatric" was banded about.

OP posts:
Babdoc · 22/12/2021 20:04

Are you sure she hasn’t just misunderstood the medical term “elderly primigravida”, OP?
It’s not in the least judgmental, it just flags up older mothers, who have a higher risk of complications and need a bit more care.
I’m a retired doctor, who had babies at 33 and 35, over 30 years ago when over 35 was regarded as elderly. There was never any unpleasantness from the obstetric staff.

Wolfiefan · 22/12/2021 20:05

It’s not a baba.
It’s a medical term.
You told them to “belt up”? Hmm

TroysMammy · 22/12/2021 20:13

@Wolfiefan perhaps the OP is Welsh and has abbreviated baban (baby) to baba.

pinkchristmastree11 · 22/12/2021 20:13

I had my daughter at 35 in the nearest hospital to where she is having hers.

How long ago was this?? I know a lot of people who have had babies over the age of 35.

MrsColon · 22/12/2021 20:15

@Babdoc

Are you sure she hasn’t just misunderstood the medical term “elderly primigravida”, OP? It’s not in the least judgmental, it just flags up older mothers, who have a higher risk of complications and need a bit more care. I’m a retired doctor, who had babies at 33 and 35, over 30 years ago when over 35 was regarded as elderly. There was never any unpleasantness from the obstetric staff.
Well, since YOU had no unpleasantness then OP's friend must be oversensitive! Hmm

Give your head a wobble and stop giving out to someone just asking for a prayer.

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 22/12/2021 20:17

I hope and pray for a safe delivery for your friend. She sounds lovely and so do you for caring x

SituationCritical · 22/12/2021 20:20

I'm not religious so can't offer a prayer, but I do hope everything goes well and your friend and her new baby are healthy and happy Flowers

Babdoc · 22/12/2021 20:24

Are you always so gratuitously rude, MrsColon?
If you had bothered to read my post, you would see I was asking whether OP's friend could have simply misunderstood her doctor.

Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:30

@thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear

why are so many voting YABU?

I did. My reasons were that prayer obviously won’t make a difference - it’s good medical care that will. It’s lovely that the OP is thoughtful about her friend, but I hope she’s not passing any of her worries on to her.

OP I hope all goes well for your friend and her baby. It’s certainly harder recovering from a CS for some older women (I also had one at 42) - it’ll be lovely for your friend to have your help and support afterwards if she needs it.

I don't live near her. I'm 2 hours away. Not everyone stays in the same place.
OP posts:
Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:31

@MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot

I hope and pray for a safe delivery for your friend. She sounds lovely and so do you for caring x
She is. She will be a brill Mum. Wish I lived nearer. I'm nearer Scotland (moved for husband's work).
OP posts:
Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:32

@SituationCritical

I'm not religious so can't offer a prayer, but I do hope everything goes well and your friend and her new baby are healthy and happy Flowers
I'll happily take best wishes. I just want them both safe and ok. x
OP posts:
Original poster
JingleBellez · 22/12/2021 20:32

@SituationCritical thanks for the well wishes x x

OP posts: