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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Christmas morning Covid test being demanded

859 replies

Quarks69 · 22/12/2021 08:27

Is everyone else having these? My sister in law has demanded this from my side of the family as her elderly parents are going to be at the dinner. With a family of five and three are my busy teens I am worried that we could end up with no xmas day if one of us is asymptomatic (for the second year running obvs).

I do get that we are in bonkers times, but Was so looking Forward to seeing everyone, including my parents, that this is making me cross...isn’t this the point of the jabs!?

OP posts:
TheUndoingProject · 22/12/2021 09:28

I’m genuinely shocked a teacher is planning on deliberately not testing to avoid having to isolate. Especially when the health of elderly extended family members is at risk. How on earth would you feel if they were hospitalised because of your selfishness? Clearly you and your kids wouldn’t actually be alone if tested positive because you could celebrate Christmas as a nuclear family.

AmaryllisNightAndDay · 22/12/2021 09:29

I wouldn’t go if I had it, but am curious if everyone out there is testing.

At the moment if I am meeting anyone outside my own household indoors then yes I am testing. Doubly so if they are elderly. LFTs don't always pick up the fact that you have Covid but they do pick up when you are most likely to infect other people, with or without symptoms.

Of course I don’t want to endanger lives. I guess my issue is that we have all been jabbed. If we get it, it’s not going to endanger lives. Both sets of parents are old not vulnerable.

Old means vulnerable to Covid.

Is everyone really testing all the time?

I don't test all the time. It hasn't been necessary until very recently and I don't meet people much (sad life me!) and pre-Christmas events have been cancelled. But I have been testing regularly and since the last couple of weeks, when I'm going to meet people outside my household indoors, I test. Omicron is not funny.

Do you have any faith in the jabs?

Triple jagged is a big improvement on double (or nothing at all!) but it isn't a total guarantee. Omicron spreads very easily so the more safety measure we take the safer everyone is.

We need to do all these things to meet up reasonably safely this Christmas. Not just say "We're testing so we don't need to vaccinate" or "we're vaccinated so we don't need to test".

No, I wouldn't ask my guests to test. Vulnerable people should assess their own risk and don't join any gatherings if they are worried.

Most people wouldn't want to have to tell their own parents "sorry but if you want to come to my house for Christmas you'll have to take the risk because Bro and his family wont do tests". They would rather say "Enjoy yourselves, we've all made it as safe for you as we possibly can".

Lovemusic33 · 22/12/2021 09:29

We are testing before visiting anyone.

I was due to have a friend over today, he messaged to say he had a cold, he’s anti vax so obviously not vaccinated, I asked him to take a test if he wanted to come over and he refused (which is fine) so he’s no not coming.

I think it’s a fair request to make, if you don’t want to test then don’t go.

SoupDragon · 22/12/2021 09:29

I am fully jabbed, wear a mask and take lfts bi-weekly.

So why on Earth are you complaining about taking a bloody test??

Staryflight445 · 22/12/2021 09:29

‘ My in-laws actually are vulnerable and although we won't be seeing them on Christmas Day, I have seen them 4-5 days a week, every week since this whole thing started and none of us have ever taken a test before doing so ’

You wouldn’t have the same arrogance about this if you’d spread covid to one of them and they died.
Survivor bias does not make this ok.

MousesBack · 22/12/2021 09:29

You sound pretty selfish if you'd rather give Covid to an elderly person than risk your Christmas Day!
Yes, responsible people ARE testing before they meet anyone, and yes, it pays to make a back up plan and have a second Christmas meal in the freezer in case plans are disrupted, which let's face it, is not unlikely.
I am hoping to go to my parents' house, but with family members working in public facing roles right through to Christmas Eve, all bets are off as to whether it will actually happen. I've not got a turkey (don't eat meat anyway) but have enough food in the house that I could put together a nice Xmas-ish dinner for my own family, if it came to us having to stay at home at short notice - a realistic prospect.

Toplowlight · 22/12/2021 09:30

If you’re happy to take LFTs twice a week anyway why on earth are you suddenly making a fuss about it now?!

Like your whole thread has been about how it’s wrong that this is being demanded, it might ruin your plans, people have too much faith in these tests… and now you want us to believe you’re testing twice weekly?!

notacooldad · 22/12/2021 09:31

Seems pretty sensible to me.
Well done to SIL for having the balls to do this.

TheHoptimist · 22/12/2021 09:31

@wateraddict

We are testing before we go shopping or see anyone, every time.
Before you go shopping is probably the reason there are no tests for those who actually need them. Including face to face workers
Abraxan · 22/12/2021 09:31

I am genuinely surprised at how many lfts are being done. We have a mild variant and assuming vaccinated Contacts little chance of serious illness..I can see now how the populace are arguing themselves into a Potential lockdown.

It's probably more likely that it's people who won't test and help reduce spread that may lead the country to increased restrictions than those who do test regularly and act accordingly.

JabNotInArm · 22/12/2021 09:31

Absolutely all testing before getting together worth anyone at Christmas. LFTs have a high false negative rate but if you're infectious have a good chance of flagging it up.

trackand · 22/12/2021 09:32

@wateraddict

We are testing before we go shopping or see anyone, every time.

Bit OTT. That's probably why there is a shortage of LFT for NHS staff

Staryflight445 · 22/12/2021 09:32

‘ People like me have been putting themselves at risk daily, to teach your children. I am fully jabbed, wear a mask and take lfts bi-weekly.

But feel free to get on your high horse.’

I’m not on any high horse, you’re actively aware of the risks on the vulnerable and are choosing to be selfish instead. I am allowed to point that out without being on some ‘high horse’ being a teacher and risking yourself has obviously put you on some sort of high horse where you think you’re better than everyone else though.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 09:32

Well everyone who is going to be in contact with me is testing as I have an op on the 31st that won't go ahead if I get it

Budapestdreams · 22/12/2021 09:32

Please don't forget that even if you are jabbed and have a mild case of Covid, you can get long Covid which can be disabling.

Long Covid isn't talked about enough, but it can mean losing your quality of life for months, even years. It can mean losing your job.

Also, it is perfectly reasonable and sensible to do LFT before seeing people. It's what we should all be doing.

sparklemagicsnow · 22/12/2021 09:32

We're all doing LFTs on the days we're visiting family. No ones asked us to, but everyone has said that they will, including those who were visiting! And none of us are vulnerable, we have no elderly relatives and we're all triple jabbed.

Because we all want to keep each other safe as we can! Yes it will be awful if anyone is positive, but we'd rather know so they can keep themselves (or ourselves!) at home.

Ignorance is not bliss in this situation!! I'd be mortified if any of us had covid and gave it to family, vulnerable or not. I wouldn't visit people if I had flu or noro, or one of the children had pox etc either!

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2021 09:33

I can’t believe as a teacher you wouldn’t test before socialising with a group, especially as there will be elderly people there.

thedefinitionofmadness · 22/12/2021 09:33

YABU obvs. 3 teens whose activity of course you shouldn't curtail. Be terrible to endanger her parents, just terrible and you know it. I expect they will all be testing too.

You just need a back up plan that you can live with for a different kind of Xmas day.

Lovelydovey · 22/12/2021 09:34

Just do it and stop moaning.

My 9 year old is completely asymptomatic, picked up on a LFT. Yes we’ve had to cancel our Christmas plans (holiday to the Caribbean so a big loss) but it’s the right thing to do to protect other people, even if it is gutting.

I lost both my parents to covid earlier in the year and I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to go through that.

Abraxan · 22/12/2021 09:34

@PlanktonsComputerWife

I am amazed people place so much faith in the LFTs. It's good if it affords people some peace of mind, but bad if they are claiming to be less contagious than thou.
The recent evidence suggests that the newer LFTs are actually fairly reliable at identifying people when they are most infectious. Yes, they aren't 100% guarantee and some sensible precautions should still take place such as increased hand hygiene, blasts of fresh air every hour, etc.

The bottom line is, though, you taking a LFT is going to reduce the risk more than simply not bothering,

emeraldcity2000 · 22/12/2021 09:34

Genuinely surprised so many people think it's okay not to test because your a bit worried it might be positive. We're triple jabbed, all had negative lfts on Sunday morning. Monday l had a faint line. Confirmed by pcr that me, dh and both kids have it - zero specific symptoms. Very grateful my to have confirmed before my parents set off to meet us. I could never have forgiven myself if they'd caught it even though they are tripple jabbed.
Personally op, I'd uninvite you if that was your attitude to keeping an every relative of mine safe.

toomuchlaundry · 22/12/2021 09:35

@Lovelydovey Flowers

PeeAche · 22/12/2021 09:35

Are you my SIL? I text everyone last night asking them to do an LFT before they come.

They don't have to do one. They could just not come and not avail themselves of my hospitality for 2 days. Or, they could simply lie to me about doing one, because they have no morals. How would I even know? 🤷🏻‍♀️

But I've asked, because it's responsible, because I trust my family and because I've been doing them every bloody day before I get down to the daily business of making pies, sausage rolls, stuffing, mince pies etc. in preparation.

Maybe it is overkill. I'm certainly not dramatic about Covid but I really don't want Christmas to be spoiled.

Crazycrazylady · 22/12/2021 09:35

My god.. You think you've seen peak selfishness and then you read thiis.

You're clearly going to lie anyone because absolutely nothing should come between you and your dinner Shock

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 22/12/2021 09:35

I can see now how the populace are arguing themselves into a Potential lockdown.

No we are doing our small parts towards avoiding a lockdown. Unfortunately I think another lockdown (but probably not schools) is inevitable because too many people are unwilling to give up ANY freedoms - it’s all a bit shortsighted.