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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rude to open the presents before they come?

46 replies

Iceskatequeen · 22/12/2021 07:48

In our house it's tradition that we open presents first thing before breakfast.

In laws have sent gifts over already, but they will be popping by late morning to see us.

Is it rude to open our presents as usual in the morning rather than in front of them? Then say thank you once they arrive.

They've sent the dc and dh one small gift each and are giving them some money, but they've given me a very large bag of presents even though I asked for just one small thing. I get so embarrassed opening gifts in front of people and historically I've received some very personal gifts don't want to put myself but it can be embarrassing.

OP posts:
Totalwasteofpaper · 22/12/2021 07:49

No totally normal

underneaththeash · 22/12/2021 07:49

Save one to open with DC and DH (open it first to make sure it's not too personal!).

Hemingwayscatz · 22/12/2021 07:50

Completely normal. I personally hate opening them in front of the gift giver, it makes me feel really awkward.

TheRedTowel · 22/12/2021 07:51

Just ask them surely?

Our house rules are if you want to see someone opening something, you bring it with you when you visit. We don't see family on the actual day, so my parents drop off presents for the family to open on Christmas day. They hold a few back for us to open with them on Boxing day.

FlickyCrumble · 22/12/2021 07:51

I would save their gifts until they arrive.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 22/12/2021 07:53

I would def save their gifts for the DC to open in front of them-

how old are DC in question and why have they sent presents ahead versus bringing them?

AFS1 · 22/12/2021 07:56

I would absolutely save their gifts to open when they’re there, if they’re coming over that day.

Chatwin · 22/12/2021 07:58

Yes very rude to open if they're coming over the same day. But why did they send them in advance and not just bring them with them? So maybe they're expecting you to open in advance? Odd.

Fallagain · 22/12/2021 07:58

I think it’s rude to open the gifts from them before they arrive. All the other presents are fine to open.

HelloDulling · 22/12/2021 08:01

What do you usually do?

Since they have dropped the presents off already, they can’t be that surprised if you’ve opened them when they arrive.

BirdyBirdyTweetTweet · 22/12/2021 08:06

I don't think it's rude to open them. But I know my Mum would like to see the kids open theirs.

DaisyDozyDee · 22/12/2021 08:14

I find it helps to spread out the gifts anyway. We do stockings first, then gifts from us are under the tree and opened first. Anything that’s been sent from other relatives gets brought out a bit later in the day once the first round of gifts have been properly looked at. It reduces the chances of getting overwhelmed and helps with remembering who sent what. If we were seeing people later in the day, I’d definitely wait unless the children had nothing else to unwrap in the morning.

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 22/12/2021 08:15

.... ask them....?

HeronLanyon · 22/12/2021 08:16

Here no way would they be opened before they came late morning. But all families are different. The thing that would determine it is simply what the givers would want (as long as not unreasonable!). If they wouldn’t mind then rip away.

Svara · 22/12/2021 08:18

If they didn't want them opened they'd have brought them with them on the day

Blueeilidh · 22/12/2021 08:19

If they wanted to see you open them, they would bring them when they come rather than sending in advance.

RunRunGingerbreadMan · 22/12/2021 08:19

I'd open everything else before they come and save the ones from them for when they get there. It will be exciting knowing there are still a few left to be unwrapped and they will enjoy seeing you all open them.

Auntieobem · 22/12/2021 08:23

Why would they drop them off early if they weren't wanting them opened?

RoseAndRose · 22/12/2021 08:26

Save DH and DCs to be opened in front of them.

You've already opened yours, because you expected to have your hands full (with hostessing, cooking etc) and they were lovely

The 'wifework' of Xmas is a PITA, but if you have it you may as well use it to your advantage once in a while.

RunRunGingerbreadMan · 22/12/2021 08:27

We've been dropping ours off early for the last couple of years just in case Covid (or anything else) means we can't be together - restrictions/positive test/illness etc, but we still open together where possible. Also saves room in the car! Maybe you should ask them what they'd intended?

RoseAndRose · 22/12/2021 08:27

@Auntieobem

Why would they drop them off early if they weren't wanting them opened?
Contingency planning in a year of covid ?
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 08:29

Nope. We wouldn't wait. Our parents and PIL come over every Xmas day at different points and we'd never think to save the presents. If they wanted you to open them with them there surely they wouldn't have sent them before hand?

HeronLanyon · 22/12/2021 08:30

Dropping off early so tree looks great with all presents - I wouldn’t see dropping off early to mean open without giver there necessarily.

IAmMeThisIsI · 22/12/2021 08:30

Everyone is different. We open all of ours on Christmas morning. Your PIL wouldn't have sent them over early otherwise. Then again, I knew one family who didn't open anything until after Christmas dinner at 3pm! Ask your DH. He will know what his own parents expect.

Nietzschethehiker · 22/12/2021 08:52

There is no hard and fast rule on this. Every family does things differently. My family it wouldn't be odd at all. If the gifts were sent ahead then they can be opened first thing. If they want you to wait they would bring it with them (if it was covid contingency planning they would either mention it or ask them)

I am smiling slightly at the assertions above that there is some sort of established rule that its rude as standard. Because every family works to the same etiquette book obviously Hmm

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