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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rude to open the presents before they come?

46 replies

Iceskatequeen · 22/12/2021 07:48

In our house it's tradition that we open presents first thing before breakfast.

In laws have sent gifts over already, but they will be popping by late morning to see us.

Is it rude to open our presents as usual in the morning rather than in front of them? Then say thank you once they arrive.

They've sent the dc and dh one small gift each and are giving them some money, but they've given me a very large bag of presents even though I asked for just one small thing. I get so embarrassed opening gifts in front of people and historically I've received some very personal gifts don't want to put myself but it can be embarrassing.

OP posts:

Dilbertian · 22/12/2021 08:57

If the ILs wanted you or your dc to open the IL's presents in front of them, they would bring the presents with them. By delivering the presents well before, the ILs have given you tacit permission to open them before they arrive.

Brieandcamembert · 22/12/2021 09:02

Really rude to open them before they arrive.

yeahitlookslike · 22/12/2021 09:04

Just get DH to check with them. No one here can guess what they were hoping for!

User2638483 · 22/12/2021 09:04

Personally I would save them as I’d know my parents or in laws would get pleasure from seeing them being opened - but I would normally know what they are and have confidence dc would like them.

If that was not the case and I was worried my dc couldn’t feign pleasure then I might feel differently!

But we also spread presents through the day.
Only stockings first thing, main present between breakfast and lunch, and a few more after lunch

WoodenReindeer · 22/12/2021 09:05

Wow Id see it as rude to open before they arrive.

Id open santa presents and immediate family presents and save those as they will be there in a few hours! I do t see why you can't wait a couple of hours for hust their present? Wont it be a bit weird when they turn up and its already done? (Bit like coming for coffee and then saying "oh no thanks I've just had one - its the socail occasion too!?)

I can see this isn't universal though!

TheSpiral · 22/12/2021 09:09

Personally I do think it’s rude to open them before they arrive. I don’t think tradition comes into it - yes, open all your other presents in the morning but surely you can hold on to a few? I’ve received some dreadful gifts in the past, you just smile and say thanks.

DrGoogleSaysSo · 22/12/2021 09:11

Since they are coming later on, I would wait for them to open the presents then.

Emerald5hamrock · 22/12/2021 09:12

Yes it is rude opening all the gifts if they're visiting the same day.
However open your one earlier, explain it causes great embarrassment for you.
They'll understand.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 09:28

@Brieandcamembert

Really rude to open them before they arrive.

It isn't though. No one I know would do this in real life.

Tink626 · 22/12/2021 09:42

I personally think it's incredibly rude to open them before they arrive

alienbaby · 22/12/2021 09:44

@AllThingsServeTheBeam
"No one I know would do this in real life."
Breaking news: you don't know all people.

OP, its fucking rude

MyOtherProfile · 22/12/2021 09:56

We always get the kids to open grandparents gifts in front of them. Gives the grandparents lots of pleasure and kids have other things to open earlier.

BillyBarryBoo · 22/12/2021 10:18

If you feel embarrassed yourself opening presents in front of them, open them in private on Christmas Eve then reseal then you'll know what's in each

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 10:28

[quote alienbaby]@AllThingsServeTheBeam
"No one I know would do this in real life."
Breaking news: you don't know all people.

OP, its fucking rude[/quote]
No I know. But this is literally the first time in my entire life I have heard of this. And it's absolutely ridiculous. It wouldn't even cross my mind to wait and it is in no way 'fucking rude'

Kotatsu · 22/12/2021 10:29

They wouldn't have sent them over if they didn't expect you to open them before they arrived I would think?

If they wanted you to open them when they're there, they'd have just brought them when they came.

Although I see other people don't think that way

BornOnTwelfthNight · 22/12/2021 11:03

If they wanted to see you open them they wouldn’t have sent them over beforehand, They’d have brought them over when they come to visit.

Well that’s the way it works in our house anyway, any presents sent prior to are for opening Christmas morning. We’d not be expected to wait until they arrived later on.

Bookworm20 · 22/12/2021 11:28

If they are there under the tree xmas morning, open them then.

The fact they are not bringing them with them and sent them in advance would suggest they are not thinking you'll wait to open them in front of them, but so they are there ready for the dc when they wake up xmas morning to open.

Just a thank you when they get there.

TrashyPanda · 22/12/2021 11:31

Wait till they arrive to open them.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 22/12/2021 12:03

I would say keep their presents together open after they arrive. It slightly depends how old kids are and how many other presents they have to open.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/12/2021 12:15

All this could literally be answered by a text saying 'Do you want us to wait until you get here to open the gifts'. Though if it was me I'd find that really odd

FourTeaFallOut · 22/12/2021 12:16

Ring and ask?

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