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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How the hell do people find the time or money for all the festive activities?

62 replies

JCWildWest · 21/12/2021 20:57

Bit tongue in cheek and I know social media isn’t reality but….

My social media feeds are full of people on festive days out visiting Santa and reindeers and light displays and ice skating and Christmas markets. Afternoon teas, mulled wines, nights out, meals out, wreath making, carol singing, pantos, it goes on and on! And I’m just talking single people with bags of time, it’s families and all sorts.

Whilst me I’m frazzled, I’ve barely got time to have a shower, between work and general household crap. We are a blended household and there always seems to be a state of chaos and not knowing who is coming or going to organise anything. I don’t think I’ve got Christmas sorted, I’ve only just posted the Christmas cards. I’m working flat out until the big day.

And even if I did have the time or the energy everything is booked up and costs as much as a weekly shop to cart the mob out for a trip.

I tried to get festive at the weekend and made some gingerbread men with the music on and a mulled wine. But I’m just not feeling it.

Sorry to be so bah humbug but I really can’t be arsed!

OP posts:
Original poster
JCWildWest · 21/12/2021 20:58

Also I am aware I could be totally worse off and working over Christmas, alone or I’ll. I know it’s small fry but I needed a vent

OP posts:
AndTime · 21/12/2021 21:04

We book early so the expense is covered way before Christmas and not adding to an already expensive time of year.

One activity we have done this week was booked in February, one in June and one in October.

Time wise it's a push with work, gym, school and clubs but we are just flexible.

Comedycook · 21/12/2021 21:06

Yeah I know and agree with you.

Another thing I don't get is all the posters on here planning their amazing Christmas Eve meals and Christmas breakfasts...ffs. Just doing Christmas lunch takes a shit ton of food and effort and cooking and cleaning. No way am I doing special meals the da before

Haudyourwheesht · 21/12/2021 21:08

We did 3 events throughout December. All booked ages ago and all lasted a couple of hours in the morning so plenty of the day left in which to be frazzled. Doesn't hurt that I have very little social life outwith our own family.

I don't disagree with you though, OP, some people seem be be constantly busy, and I wouldn't have energy for that.

6demandingchildren · 21/12/2021 21:10

We have 6 grandchildren and we save our tesco clubcard vouchers and triple them up and take them all out to a local zoo/ play park and to see Santa, its a cheaper way of treating them all.

megletthesecond · 21/12/2021 21:10

I don't know. I have no desire to be dashing around in the winter. Xmas is hard enough work as it is.
Work and keeping healthy are my limits this time of year.

Chishnfips · 21/12/2021 21:11

But not all of them are doing all of it are they? Your feed looks like there is a lot going on but it's not a true picture of how much everyone is or isn't doing.

FestiveMelts · 21/12/2021 21:12

I know what you mean, other people seem much more organized than me! The ones I'll never compete with are those with personalized Christmas Eve boxes, stockings, and matching family jammies!

Glowmaintenance · 21/12/2021 21:13

Most of these events tend to release tickets from October so I book early and mark it in my diary, request the time off work so planning or stress isn't an issue and spread the cost over a few months. I try and book 1 activity a week on the run up to Christmas starting in December so we have something to look forward to and to get us in the festive mood (Panto, santa and a festive day out) I find leaving everything until December to book and plan is to chaotic and I can never get time off work so late in the month so it has to be organised early really or I won't bother with it.

NewlyJingle2021 · 21/12/2021 21:14

My social media feed would probably look like that to anyone looking and thinking 'huh she's on benefits now, how's she going to all those places?' but in truth one event was booked almost a year ago when I was still with my ex and financially much better off. Another farm thing my SIL had a massive discount for and exH paid for the kids anyway. Another Father Christmas event my mum paid for as her Xmas gift to the kids. I have booked a cheap panto for next week (hoping it won't be cancelled!) which I had paid for last month. Today I'd taken the kids to an activity where tickets were under £20 for us all, but that plus lunch out is all I can really afford for this month. Their presents are on store accounts which I'll pay down gradually over the next couple of months, and any other things I do to fill the holidays (if we aren't locked down) will have to go on PayPal credit or maybe use any money the kids get for Xmas - if they choose to use it that way.

In every pic taken of me and the kids on my feeds we looked happy because we were genuinely enjoying it, but inside I was counting down the days til my next UC payment and frantically keeping a running total of any little extras or drinks we'd bought. So you'll never know the reality behind all the happy-looking pictures I suppose!

NewlyJingle2021 · 21/12/2021 21:17

Oh and there's been plenty of frazzlment and rushing about in order to get everything and everybody where they're supposed to be, but of course nobody puts those pics up! I just share them so family who don't live near us can see the kids, my friends know the reality Grin

3WildOnes · 21/12/2021 21:17

I tend to book a few things in august and September, Light trail, ice skating and a theatre trip, so costs are spread out I guess. I don’t have loads to sort out. I did all of my present shopping this last Saturday in one afternoon, I don’t buy lots. I work part time. I’ve done a few free things too. None of them took a whole day.

gogohm · 21/12/2021 21:18

You aren't alone, we are working, blended family, they all decided we were the best bet to live Confused haven't even bought the main gifts yet for my two. Dd arrives tomorrow from university and hopefully she'll take charge

Guttedbuyer · 21/12/2021 21:18

It really does add up!

mclaw · 21/12/2021 21:18

The money is fortunately ok for us but the time is what I struggle with. I've still get food shopping to do, presents to arrive & wrap plus house is a state.

mclaw · 21/12/2021 21:19

I always book this for between xmas & Jan as that's when the kids are off & things have calmed down.

mclaw · 21/12/2021 21:19

things!

mclaw · 21/12/2021 21:20

plus wanted to avoid having to isolate/be ill leading up to xmas day this yr

PrancerandDancer · 21/12/2021 21:21

Booked in advance. I usually start booking in September also get all the Christmas shopping etc out the way by November so can enjoy December. However I only have one child and I love Christmas, it's my favourite time of year and I don't do hardly anything event wise in the summer (mostly spent hiding from and cursing the sun) so it's balances out

Tianatiers · 21/12/2021 21:24

It’s lovely that people do all these lovely festive family days out but why oh why do they have to then post pictures and brag about it all on social media? It just makes people who can’t do those kinds of things for various reasons feel guilty. I know I don’t have to look at social media and I really shouldn’t as it always makes me feel rubbish, but I can’t help myself. Can people not enjoy a family day out anymore without bragging about it on social media?

Kite22 · 21/12/2021 21:24

'Everyone' isn't doing 'everything' though, are they ?

Julie took her kids to the illuminated light walk;Jane took hers on the steam train; it was Dave that put the picture up of the ice skating ; and Tim that went to the Christmas Market.... etc etc. Across my feed, I've seen lots of people doing lovely things, but I don't have anyone who is out night after night, weekend after weekend. I've also got a few hundred people that I know, so even if I'd seen 25 pictures of people doing lovely things, that means I've not seen pictures of the other 200 doing lovely Christmassy things.

I used to take our dc out and about as much as I could because it made life easier if they got out each day. Not everything has to cost a lot.

RainbowMum11 · 21/12/2021 21:26

I completely understand, but a lot of the things have actually been free.
The main one we booked a while ago and it was really art of Christmas presents, the others tend to be going at our bed the lights in the local park with a mulled wine/hot chocolate, or around local markets which don't cost anything apart from what you buy.

MatildaIThink · 21/12/2021 21:27

Different people have different incomes. Also, if you have 200 people on social media, the chances are that barring lockdown someone will be doing something interesting and somewhat expensive, it does not mean that they are all doing everything.

WakeUpLockie · 21/12/2021 21:27

Time: DH is off 17th-new year, as with most of the families I know of. I realise that is very lucky. Saved up annual leave and very flexible fields.
Money: saved/put some aside and not done much: one grotto, one national trust, one light show thing and lots of free stuff.

blueshiningsea · 21/12/2021 21:32

I feel the same, with 4 children it was cost us hundreds as a family of 6 to do light trails, Blenheim, ice skating, lap land etc. I drive my kids around our town looking for lit up decorated houses, or free/cheap craft events at churches, that’s the extent of it!

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