Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think this is out of order and wonder if I should report it to my company

63 replies

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 13:45

I am in community care, I posted a couple of days ago on here explaining how a client's granddaughter had asked me in front of them all 'for a word', taken me to another room and told me I wasn't doing my job properly and needed to be a more dominant person as her grandmother hadn't been up and dressed in the morning.

She had wanted to stay in bed that day, I asked her twice to confirm and she stayed so I left.
I do understand the family's point.

Anyway thought it was done with, but I went back this morning and I saw a note on the table had been left , addressed to the teatime carer who wasn't me
The Granddaughter had in fact asked me if I would be coming back that evening and I said it wasn't me.
Anyway the note said 'Grandmother was not dressed and hadn't yet showered when I arrived this morning, I have given Maddy a talking to over this' and then just other instructions like please make her X for tea'

So the note was not destined for me but she had specifically mentioned my name on it and that she had 'had a word with me' and left it out for other carers.

I am pretty upset about this, I don't understand why she's done that, if it's to be spiteful or embarrass me. Or as a warning.

I took the note with me and I am contemplating whether to speak to my job about this and report it or just ignore it ?

OP posts:

MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry · 21/12/2021 14:41

I'm just thinking about if I should report the note, I might just leave it and ignore her, she's not worth it

Not worth what? just tell your manager about the note and they’ll remind the grand daughter of the correct protocol for complaints. There’s no drama.

Newcomer68 · 21/12/2021 14:47

To protect yourself, you need to report this to your line manager (who, if they're half decent, will feed it up the line to the home/care manager).

If the grand-daughter has an issue, she needs to take it up with the company manager, not leave complaining notes that could be picked up by anybody, knocked off the bedside cabinet or wherever she's left it, or otherwise meet an unpleasant fate.

It sounds like you always fill in your handover notes anyway (which doesn't happen in every care situation, sadly), so there will be a record of what you've tried to do/managed to do.

titchy · 21/12/2021 14:50

@Maddymorphosis

Yes you're totally right, I should try to phrase things like that to her. I'm just thinking about if I should report the note, I might just leave it and ignore her, she's not worth it Going to part time in 2 weeks anyway luckily but I'll keep trying to be firm

So you're not really trying to gently coax her out of bed? Just saying 'are you sure' a couple of times?

MorningStarling · 21/12/2021 14:51

I can see their point of view, they are just trying to make your colleagues aware that they aren't happy with the standard of care you're giving. That doesn't mean that you are not doing your job - it's just their opinion.

You should raise it with your manager and ask them to lay down the law to the care recipient and their family.

Sundancerintherain · 21/12/2021 15:01

I work in care, to those posters agreeing with the granddaughter- getting a person up and dressed without their consent is classed as assault, I do hope you realise that.

Blanketpolicy · 21/12/2021 15:02

You must have a policy to follow in these circumstances.

Do you have a log book in each clients home? Make sure you log everything that happens then you would have log of events.

first day you should have written "client doesn't want to get up and dressed this morning, have talked to client to encourage them to get dressed and checked they are clean and comfortable they do not want to today"

then yesterday - "clients dgc asked why client was not dressed yesterday, explained client had been encouraged and asked twice if they wanted to get up and dressed, they declined and as policy they were not forced to get dressed"

then today - "note left by dgc stating again client was not dressed 2 days ago. have left note to explain policy and to raise with X if they need further clarification, will also let X know myself"

melj1213 · 21/12/2021 15:08

I would definitely report it to your manager, mostly to cover yourself and make sure they are aware of the situation. If the granddaughter keeps "speaking to" carers or calls the office, then it js definitely in your best interests to have already informed your manager of your concerns rather than it coming out after the fact. Additionally, if the granddaughter continues/escalates the complaints then your manager is in a position to be able to call her and tell her to back off and back it up with the paper trail.

When my grandparents had in home carers in the early stages of their dementia, we, as family, would discuss things directly with the carers if they were there but otherwise everything went through the office eg if I came one day and my grandparents were just sitting in their night clothes, if the carer was still there then I would ask them what had happened that morning (as it would be v out of routine for them not to be up/dressed) and if just felt there was was issue or concern then I would escalate it to their line manager, and if they weren't there I would just call the line manager directly, I would not be speaking directly to the carer themselves nor would I be leaving notes saying "I've spoken to XYZ" as though they were a naughty child being put in their place.

angieloumc · 21/12/2021 16:09

@Maddymorphosis

I'm sorry but you shouldn't have taken the note, and as you have I think you should report it now. I'm a little taken aback by you saying 'she's not worth it', I'm assuming you mean the GD. She really is just concerned about her grandma, rightly or wrongly.

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:11

Not sure why they need to make other carers, not the management, aware that they are not happy with the standards of my care, it's really nothing to do with them ?

I did log the first time that she was not ready to get up, and told this granddaughter that I had logged it

I will report to the manager though to cover myself, thanks for all the replies

OP posts:

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:12

She has every right to be concerned, she has no right to leave random notes around about me, that's not normal

I've taken it as I don't want everyone seeing it and I want to take it to my agency

OP posts:

FelicityBeedle · 21/12/2021 16:16

People saying if she has dementia she can’t consent to not washing. She absolutely can. She may not have capacity for large complex decisions but she probably still has capacity to decide when she gets up and what she wants for tea ( as an example)

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:17

The client is not bed bound and is able to use the toilet etc herself

OP posts:

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:20

We have another client who is sound of mind but bed bound due to a stroke. A lot of days she will say she doesn't want to get up yet as too cold etc, so sometimes we get her up at lunchtime, log it and family has never had a single complaint

OP posts:

helpfulperson · 21/12/2021 16:22

A huge amount of dementia care is about giving people as much agency over their lives as possible despite the dementia. If she doesn't want to get up she doesn't need to.

Presumably if she only has two visits a day she is still relatively capable.

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:23

She has 4 a day currently, she can use the toilet etc herself but does need support around it, I just feel sad that these people are not being given choices

OP posts:

angieloumc · 21/12/2021 16:29

@Maddymorphosis

She has every right to be concerned, she has no right to leave random notes around about me, that's not normal

I've taken it as I don't want everyone seeing it and I want to take it to my agency

That's not what you said initially. Your OP was about whether you ought to report it. I expect you wouldn't have taken it if it had mentioned one of your colleagues by name.

Spidey66 · 21/12/2021 16:31

Mental capacity is decision specific. Someone may well have the capacity to decide whether to have weetabix or porridge for breakfast, wear her red coat rather than the black one, or as in this case that they wanted a duvet day and to stay in their nighty. As long as it's not every day that's fine (if it is they maybe depressed). The same person may not have the capacity to sell their house and move to New Zealand with someone they've been chatting to online though.

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:31

How do you know I wouldn't have taken it ?
Very random assumption to make

OP posts:

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:32

For the record yes I would have taken it or at least hidden it

OP posts:

Original poster

Maddymorphosis · 21/12/2021 16:33

We have a male client who seems to be depressed, we have tried to prompt him to have a wash etc but he refuses, we log it and that's all we can do

OP posts:

50ShadesOfCatholic · 21/12/2021 16:39

Ideally you would feel confident in sharing this with your employer and gaining their support.

You are going into people's homes to care for them, a job entailing many complexities. It cannot be easy, and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.

Your employer shoukd be supporting you by speaking with the granddaughter and explaining the procedure for raising concerns, and the importance of maintaining a good relationship.

Sorry OP, granddaughter sounds deeply unpleasant.

angieloumc · 21/12/2021 16:40

@Maddymorphosis

How do you know I wouldn't have taken it ? Very random assumption to make

I don't know, that's why I said 'I expect'. However I do think the GD should be speaking to your company about it as because you've taken the note the concern won't be logged unless you do take it to the office, which was what your OP was about.

GregoryFluff · 21/12/2021 16:46

@FannyFifer

Does the grandmother have dementia or other mental health or physical needs!? I'm presuming she is unable to wash & dress herself? For skin integrity etc & to fulfil your job you need to really get her washed. What if she never wanted to wash again & stay in bed covered in urine or sores.

If there's been no DoLs assessment then she is assumed to have capacity She may have been assessed and deemed to have capacity Therefore she can make any decision she likes in regards to personal cares, whether it would be deemed as 'wise' or not

FannyFifer · 21/12/2021 18:23

@GregoryFluff There's a fine balance with a lot of dementia care, you can get by a lot of the time with encouraging & persuading. Folk forget it's the morning or forget the food sitting in front of them. It's not ok to not even try. "I've had my breakfast" "och but I've made u a lovely cuppa & here's a wee bit of toast to go with it" or "I don't want a shower" "I'll make it nice and warm for you, let's get your lovely soap & pick some nice clothes out for the day."
You have to try, it's not ok to leave someone not cared for. Can't make them or drag them out of bed, but 9 out of 10 times by spending a wee bit of time u can get folk to do what needs done.
It's carers not having the time for this important part of care that's the big problem.

helpfulperson · 21/12/2021 18:32

I think it's even more reasonable if she has 4 visits. If she doesn't want to get up during the first visit she will have another opportunity in a couple of hours. Its not like she's going to be left in her bed all day.

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread