<sigh> My Mother and Facebook

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

I'm being all calm and explanatory in real life, but honestly my DM just doesn't get the peripheral nature of Facebook. She seems to feel that someone posting things that she isn't interested in is the equivalent of someone constantly engaging her in conversation about a subject that she's not interested in and not shutting up. So she complains about other people's behaviour, like my cousin posts too many photos apparently.

I deliberately didn't add her as a FB friend. She sent me a friend request, which I accepted to keep the peace. The she complained that she was seeing too many posts that were nothing to do with her. I'm pretty active on various special interest FB groups so she was seeing things that I had put up about quilting or crochet or Strictly. So I restricted what she could see.

Then today one managed to slip through my restrictions and she phoned me in a huff to ask why I hadn't told her that I'd had a three-day stomach bug. I hadn't and told her so, so she asked why I was lying on FB. Eventually, after a lot of searching, it turned out that one of my FB friends had posted about not being sure a quilt would be finished in time because he'd had a stomach bug and I had commented underneath. So I explained that, but apparently it was definitely me that said it and not someone else and she's going to take a photo of it to prove it to me.

So I've double checked the exclusions and made them stronger. I'm thinking about unfriending her and claiming it was a FB glitch if she notices.

No advice needed (and I'm pretty sure that IANBU), I just feel better for having off-loaded that.

@Staggersaurus

Urgh you have my sympathies. My mum is such a liability on Facebook. She comments on posts in just a really weird way. The worst thing was she commented on a post that my cousin had randomly commented on that they were going away to x for 6 weeks and she was welcome to use the house as it would be empty Thankfully I was on fb at the time and saw it straight away. She has now lost her password and has asked me to help her retrieve it. I’ve been a bit busy…

Every time my uncle forgets his password he just starts a new Facebook page. I'm friends with 3 of him.

She seems to feel that someone posting things that she isn't interested in is the equivalent of someone constantly engaging her in conversation about a subject that she's not interested in and not shutting up.

This reminds me of the Q&A section on product pages on Amazon, etc, where people post questions like "does this product come with the USB charger?" and the replies are "sorry, I don't know as I bought it as a present!" and "I'm not sure as it's for Christmas and it hasn't been opened yet", and "sorry, I don't know, but maybe you can call the company and check?".

Ohhh, I hear you OP. My mum is slightly younger than yours but the issues are similar. She's not on Facebook so much but more than once I've had to stop her from emailing or telephoning her friends, once by one, to find out which one of them thought she'd like to buy some Viagra.

The penile enhancement once was particularly memorable. "But your father's dead, REP22!"...

@Trixiethewhore that’s hilarious. My mum hasn’t a clue how to set herself up (I did it for her in the first place) and has “lost” the “Facebook button thing” on her phone. I’m sure it wasn’t me who accidentally on purpose deleted it

Lol sorry OP but your post made me laugh 😂 your DM sounds highly strung 🤣 gotta love her though lol just unfriend her and maybe even block her as she may notice you've unfriended her. Is she savvy enough to make another Facebook to check if you've blocked her though? If so then, I guess it's a catch 22! Good luck!

Life is much better when Facebook isn’t in it.

Ohgod it's infuriating.

My mother used to think that everything posted on Facebook was a direct message just for her, and spend absolutely ages diligently commenting on each thing. "Dear Jeff, thank you for sending me these photos of you walking Rex in the park this morning. Hope you're well, Love Janet."

She thought she was being rude by not replying...

I deleted everyone from my Facebook friends list; I only use it for groups and local news now. If I like them then I stay in touch by other means, if not then it’s no loss.
I recommend it.

Every time my uncle forgets his password he just starts a new Facebook page. I'm friends with 3 of him.

😂

Any chance you can get hold of whatever device she uses to access fb and mute yourself on her account. You’d still be friends but she wouldn’t see what you post unless she goes looking.

My MIL is apparently determined to answer every single one of those I bet you can’t think of a word that starts with S and ends in T posts despite several attempts to explain phishing scams.

Have you got access to her log-in/ profile? If so I would probably unfollow yourself from her end so that your posts stop coming up on her feed, that way you’re still friends and she can still click onto your profile to see your posts but she won’t get your content on her feed and especially not content linked to groups you’re on.

Before you block her, ask her for the screenshot! She'll realise she was wrong and it'll be mildly amusing 😁

Even more annoying, she's a FB ghost. She contributes absolutely nothing, just criticises what everyone else posts

My mother does this, which is why I deleted my FB account. Drove me up the wall. And she told me off saying 'crap' in one of my posts. I was 42, for Christ's sake!

My mother thinks advertising emails from M&S are direct personal communication. Then we have to have a conversation about why M&S would ever imagine she’d wear THAT blouse as it just would not suit her at all. She gets quite wound up by it.

I have the same problem with my Dad who was constantly complaining about people being ‘needy’ and wanting attention 🤦‍♀️
I taught him how to unfollow people and now he moans that he never sees anything. Well then he got a smart phone and I dread the day he rings asking how to do something on it. Sometime I think I’ll just steal his Wi-Fi router 😂

@EishetChayil

Ohgod it's infuriating.

My mother used to think that everything posted on Facebook was a direct message just for her, and spend absolutely ages diligently commenting on each thing. "Dear Jeff, thank you for sending me these photos of you walking Rex in the park this morning. Hope you're well, Love Janet."

She thought she was being rude by not replying...

😂😂😂

I've just sent a request for that Show this to Jim page, it looks hilarious 🤣

@Cactu

My mother thinks advertising emails from M&S are direct personal communication. Then we have to have a conversation about why M&S would ever imagine she’d wear THAT blouse as it just would not suit her at all. She gets quite wound up by it.

This is outstanding 😂

DH is the one that drives me nuts. He wanted Facebook because I had it and knew lots of the family used it. He really doesn't get it at all...never adds anything, everything, I mean everything gets a 'like' He often thinks posts have been sent directly to him, particularly when one of us posts. Fortunately he never comments though.

He does hit the people you may know on a frequent basis..'they added me' ..umm...so Anastasia from Russia added you did she...🤣

I did have an older colleague post on fb a rant about her line manager, thinking it was a private message ..that was an interesting conversation the next day at work for her!

Oh,oh,oh this is my life. In the two days she's been here, DM has complained that I'd seen a photo of my great niece before she showed it to me. When I said I'd seen it on FB she said, 'Well, granny is always the last to see things, I suppose,' in a martyred tone.

When I signed her up for the fourth time, so she could see what was happening in a choir she joined, she said she didn't want to see anyone else's stuff but did want to friend d, y and z- '...but I don't want to see what they are doing, mind.'.

I've had to restrict my dad on Instagram because I posted a music video on my music account and he commented 'smoking now? You know what happened with my heart attack' 🙄

And on FB he's constantly writing huge long statuses threatening anyone posting about politics that he will snooze them - I'm sure they all felt suitably terrified that he wouldn't see their posts...

He's also made comments about teaching me to use the toilet when I was little on my bloody professional pages!

Absolute nightmare.

My Mum has no filter and says/writes what is in her head.

My lovely SIL posted some pics of a night out with her pals. My Mum wrote in the comments 'Out spending Jim's money again?' (My bro, not his real name).

I had to ask her to delete it. At the time my SIL was working two jobs and studying for a career change. She had her own money!
Christ on a bike Mother!

My mum (early 70s) has to be constantly reminded that what people are posting isn’t being sent directly to her and her alone 😂

I blocked my mum from my Facebook. It’s actually knocked her clean off her head. She sits drinking and smoking all day arguing with everyone on news groups, she’s actually really nasty, she has absolutely no filter and cannot appreciate that people have different personalities. She’s been barred from a few shops and pubs in town because of her nastiness. I’ve had to remove other family members as she bullies them into screenshotting my wall so she can see what I’m posting.

Mine also posts 'Happy Birthday' on her own wall and then when people say 'whos that for' she replies 'my friend on facebook'.