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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this cheeky?

37 replies

aingerlinger · 21/12/2021 08:25

My friend asked me would I take her to the shopping centre last night after I finished work so she could grab a couple of gifts.
I finished work at 5pm and picked her up and we arrived at shopping centre at 6pm.
We didn't leave till 9.30 pm...I assumed she would be in and out considering she said a couple of gifts.
Anyway driving home she asked could we stop at Tesco whilst she ran in for a few essentials.
I said yes and waited in the car with her daughter.
1 hour later she comes out with her full Christmas shop!
I got home at 11.45 pm (after dropping her home)

Aibu to think it's so cheeky ?

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 21/12/2021 08:26

Confused it’s bizarre. Why did you allow her to use you like this if you didn’t want too!?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/12/2021 08:27

Has she not heard of taxis?

Perhaps be clearer about what’s on offer next time you agree to do her a favour. Or just decline.

Original poster
aingerlinger · 21/12/2021 08:29

Well I didn't mind because she said it was a couple of gifts (not 3 hours shopping )
And popping in Tesco for a couple of essentials (thought milk etc ) not her full shop

OP posts:
Sundancerintherain · 21/12/2021 08:30

Yes, she is a CF.

sleighbelleuk · 21/12/2021 08:31

Very cheeky! Seems like she just used you as free transport and free babysitting.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 21/12/2021 08:32

Yea she is cheeky but I cant believe you didn't learn your lesson the first time! I woudlnt be giving any more lifts anyway

Toplowlight · 21/12/2021 08:33

YANBU, that’s hugely cheeky

ALittleOldLadyTookInHerGoat · 21/12/2021 08:36

I can't believe you went along with it. I'd have told her you had to get home after an hour max.

Do you always allow others to take over so much?
I used to be like this but not now. It makes me angry on your behalf

eggcustard1 · 21/12/2021 08:48

I wouldn't say this behaviour was cheeky. It was disrespectful. From your explanation she lied about her intentions with gift buying and food shopping, taking advantage of your time & good will.
Is this a usual pattern in your friendship? Maybe clearer communication and firmer boundaries are needed from both of you to stop this from being repeated.

CurzonDax · 21/12/2021 08:49

Yes, she was being a CF.

However, after the 'few gifts' turned into 3 hours, why did you believe her about the Tesco shop being for essentials only?

MadeOfStarStuff · 21/12/2021 09:30

Yes she’s a CF but you enabled her!

After an hour or so why didn’t you say you were tired so wanted to leave, she could either come with you or get a taxi home?

And WHY when she’d already dragged you shopping for 3 hours, did you agree to take her to Tesco as well? If you act like a doormat, CFs will walk all over you!

Rainbowqueeen · 21/12/2021 09:31

Hugely cheeky. I’d never drive her anywhere again

CounsellorTroi · 21/12/2021 09:32

Incredibly CF. I hate people like this.

dudsville · 21/12/2021 09:38

Of course she was inconsiderate, but why the hell did you never stop her from taking advantage of you?

CheshireKitten123 · 21/12/2021 09:40

Make a New Year resolution, OP, to develop some iron-clad boundaries...

Cocomarine · 21/12/2021 09:44

Honestly, I’m not really interested in whether she’s cheeky or not. Why would you even ask? That’s a dull question.

Now what I really want to know, is how often during the 3.5 hour shopping trip you phoned her to say, “how long are you going to be?” / “no, you said 20 mins more, I need to go at 19:30 latest” / “I have to leave now, you need to get a taxi.”

I really interested in what you actually chose to do here!

Howshouldibehave · 21/12/2021 09:45

You acted like a doormat.

How long have you known her? Has he ever done anything like this before?

Cocomarine · 21/12/2021 09:46

@dudsville

Of course she was inconsiderate, but why the hell did you never stop her from taking advantage of you?
Absolutely this. It’s not even about boundaries, surely at some point before she hit THREE AND A HALF HOURS you’d have called to check she was actually OK? You wouldn’t even need to have the balls and boundaries to tell her to stop taking the piss, you’d be genuinely worried! Did you fall asleep in the car waiting?!
applesapplesapples · 21/12/2021 09:46

“Cheeky” is a curiously euphemistic way of putting it. I’d say she’s taking the piss big time.

Corbally · 21/12/2021 09:49

@Cocomarine

Honestly, I’m not really interested in whether she’s cheeky or not. Why would you even ask? That’s a dull question.

Now what I really want to know, is how often during the 3.5 hour shopping trip you phoned her to say, “how long are you going to be?” / “no, you said 20 mins more, I need to go at 19:30 latest” / “I have to leave now, you need to get a taxi.”

I really interested in what you actually chose to do here!

Exactly this. In fact, its the main question that asks to be posed about virtually all CF threads. As well as ‘Why do you need a bunch of internet strangers to agree with you that you let yourself be exploited?’
Cocomarine · 21/12/2021 09:50

Actually, re-reading - you said you stayed in the car at Tesco, but don’t say that for the shopping centre. So did you go in with her?
If you were going round the shops with her not saying a word about the time, did she think you were having a fun evening out together? That the initial “couple of things” had turned into a more leisurely wander? You could say she should have checked in with you, but you’ve got a tonight in your head - if you appeared to be enjoyed the trip out with her, perhaps she didn’t realise that you were cross? I honestly wouldn’t consider any of my friends wouldn’t be capable of saying, “aw hun, this is fun but I’ve been in with all say, so need to get going by 19:30 - OK?”

I’m really curious as to how you let this happen.

Cocomarine · 21/12/2021 09:51

*tonight = tongue 🤣

gingerbiscuits · 21/12/2021 10:25

@MadeOfStarStuff

Yes she’s a CF but you enabled her!

After an hour or so why didn’t you say you were tired so wanted to leave, she could either come with you or get a taxi home?

And WHY when she’d already dragged you shopping for 3 hours, did you agree to take her to Tesco as well? If you act like a doormat, CFs will walk all over you!

This! ⬆️ After an hour or so of shopping I'd have said I needed to get home & was she coming with me or arranging alternative transport - no way would I have trundled round after her for 3.5hours!!!!!
LethargicActress · 21/12/2021 10:28

She’s cheeky, but you were a doormat for stopping at Tesco after you’d already been waiting for that long.

Bigbum562021 · 21/12/2021 10:30

I hope she paid you for your car fuel, if not, tell her to bleep off and get taxi's instead! She sounds like a right arse!