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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have only turkey on Xmas day

76 replies

Legday · 21/12/2021 01:24

OK, so I am veggie, have been all my life - please be kind. I love food in general, but can never share that passion with my DH as he is a complete carnivore. Kids used to be veggie until they could make up their own mind which they did and now they eat everything. My DH and extended family's consumption of meat never bothered me until recently. Whilst I never used to have a problem with him cooking, eating, etc, at home - it's his house too and we have separate pans, pots, etc (legacy from DMIL) - I have realised, now that I am the only veggie, they actually don't eat anything other than meat. I guess everyone made more of an effort when the kids were veggie too, although always carb heavy - pasta, potatoes, bread.
Anyway, here we are today, Xmas is at ours this year, and turkey and lamb were mentioned. I don't like the smell of lamb, never have, never will, but tolerated it because my DH loves a good lamb shank or curry even though it makes me churn. I don't know why it is bothering me so much now, maybe age, menopause, lifes too short, and all the rest. As we have gotten older, it seems like I have become even more veggie and he has become even more carnivorous.
AIBU to just have turkey and all the trimmings without also having a leg of lamb staring at me and filling the house with its pungent aroma.

I am now riddled with guilt for saying we are only having turkey (there will be sausage stuffing, pigs in blankets, sprouts with bacon, etc) - and feeling very selfish, after all, when you have people over, it is about them as they are your guests, but I just can't do it and everyone is in shock that we are only having turkey.

(Have just realised unintended irony of usernameConfused)

OP posts:
Akire · 21/12/2021 01:28

You’re hosting your rules. I would say vast majority of people have turkey or one main meat at Xmas. Different if it’s meal for 20 and you need stretch a turkey but small family meal one if fine. If husband fancies lamb he can cook it maybe on Boxing Day. Can’t think why you have something take up room in oven when so much To cook.

Thebathneedscleaned · 21/12/2021 01:28

Are the guest able to bring anything with them?

Legday · 21/12/2021 01:34

Should have said we usually decide menu together with rest of the family and then split the cooking so no one has to do it all. We take turns to host each year, this year it's us.

OP posts:
Akire · 21/12/2021 01:38

You could always have it missed off your shopping delivery on Xmas Eve what a shame!

mathanxiety · 21/12/2021 01:56

I have never once in all my 27 years of cooking Christmas dinner served more than one meat. It's been either turkey or beef.

Go for it.

Rainbows89 · 21/12/2021 01:59

A) it’s really normal to just have turkey

B) you aren’t only having turkey - you are also having the sausages and bacon etc.

I’m vegetarian too but I have never heard of anyone having lamb with Christmas dinner!?

newname12345 · 21/12/2021 06:39

For a large family meal at christmas I would definitely do more than one meat. Lamb wouldn't be my choice, but it is festive.

Ragwort · 21/12/2021 06:43

I am over 60 and have never been served more than one meat (usually Turkey) for the Christmas meal. I think it's really odd to serve two meats ... and lamb and Turkey would really not go together.

Who has 'mentioned' the lamb? You are the host, you cook what you choose.

DappledThings · 21/12/2021 06:45

Totally fine to just have turkey. There have been a few threads this year where I have learnt people have a second main meat with the Christmas meal. This is totally weird to me, never known it.

Lamb to me seems especially odd if there is going to be a second meat as I associate so strongly with Easter.

TeenMinusTests · 21/12/2021 06:46

It would never cross my mind to do a second roast other than turkey. Even if we were feeding 20 I'd do a turkey and then more sides such as ham or sausages.

RedRobin100 · 21/12/2021 06:48

Don’t think you need lamb, no

If you need a second meat what about a gammon?

For what’s it’s worth I don’t eat either turkey or gammon

pilates · 21/12/2021 06:49

Sounds fine to me.
I’ve only ever had one meat at Christmas and I don’t feel I’ve missed out.

Lunaballoon · 21/12/2021 06:53

I’m a meat eater but both turkey and lamb for the Christmas meal is a very odd combination. Would they have both on the plate at the same time or one after the other? They’re not compatible at all IMO.

I do like a bit of gammon with turkey, though. The flavours go together and plenty of leftovers to keep us going in the days after Xmas.

shouldistop · 21/12/2021 06:53

If your dh wants lamb then he can cook it surely? Actually he should be cooking the Turkey since you're vegetarian.

What do you mean by this?

they actually don't eat anything other than meat.

Surely to god they eat food that isn't meat? Bread? Cereal? Dairy? Fruit? Vegetables? Pasta?

TheKeatingFive · 21/12/2021 06:53

What you're doing is more than fine

Turkey and lamb seems an odd combination. No way would I do that and im not even veggie.

welshladywhois40 · 21/12/2021 06:53

Yep just turkey and little sausages of course! I am with you on lamb. I enjoy the taste of lamb but don't enjoy smell - especially afterwards.

PinkTonic · 21/12/2021 07:01

I don’t understand why anyone does more than one meat. A turkey dinner is different to a lamb, beef or pork dinner. They have different accompaniments. I wouldn’t want to be cooking a leg of lamb on Christmas Day as well as a turkey and all the rest and I’m not a vegetarian. Say no, it’s unnecessary.

Wilkolampshade · 21/12/2021 07:02

Never understood the more than one meat thing. In my family, and every group of my extended family and of those friends who I know well enough... ONE meat (plus the sausage side dish with a turkey or chicken) There are so many side dishes in a Christmas dinner, plenty of choice for all.
Each meat also has specific accompaniments that are based on the season of its production, - mint sauce, or baby turnips and peas for spring lamb, yorkshires and horseradish for beef, apple sauce and sage for pork, games chips and bread sauce for pheasant... Hate that these are all thrown on the table at the same time. They clash and it looks and tastes confused.
So no OP. YANBU.

Yesthatscorrect · 21/12/2021 07:04

Lamb is disgusting. I totally know what you mean. It stinks and is so fatty. I once had a roast at a pub and they used lamb gravy on it and tried to say it wasn't. Yuck!

Luckily me and H both detest it but I wouldn't have it in my house and I'm not veggie. You are definitely not unreasonable.

Sirzy · 21/12/2021 07:04

I think saying you refuse to be involved in its cooking is fair. Refusing to let someone else cook/bring it with them cooked isn’t.

If the majority want lamb then you can’t overrule

SweetLathyrus · 21/12/2021 07:09

I'm with you, OP on the smell of lamb - I've always found it unpleasant, and maybe it's peri-menopause, but I'm beginning to find I'm more sensitive to all meat smells (32 years a vegetarian but I always cook meat for DH and DD if they want it), so with a house full, and windows closed, heating on, lamb would be too much for me.

It's also a WEIRD combination.

Xiaoxiong · 21/12/2021 07:09

Whoever's "mentioning" lamb can cook it themselves if they want it so much! I love lamb but it's all wrong this season and doesn't go with any of the other bits of a Christmas dinner imo - it's too fatty so it needs fresh crunchy flavours and textures. Whereas turkey is not as fatty so the sides can be richer and the sharpness provided by cranberry sauce.

It's totally normal to just have turkey. We don't even have that this year, we're having capon!

dhdislsndh · 21/12/2021 07:16

I'm not a veggie but I really hate the smell of lamb too. DH loves it but there is something about it which I really can't stomach. Therefore, as I do all of the cooking we don't have it! If he wants it, he can go and shop it, cook it and clean it up. I don't think your being unreasonable at all

crankysaurus · 21/12/2021 07:18

I think if having lamb there will make your Christmas meal unpleasant, YANBU to ask for it not to be there.
Just turkey would be fine, or another meat if you're trying to feed quite a few people.

I hope you're getting something nice for yourself too.

lap90 · 21/12/2021 07:21

Assuming everyone likes turkey (which is why some people have another meat option - to give choice), it's fine.