To have only turkey on Xmas day

[Legday]

OK, so I am veggie, have been all my life - please be kind. I love food in general, but can never share that passion with my DH as he is a complete carnivore. Kids used to be veggie until they could make up their own mind which they did and now they eat everything. My DH and extended family's consumption of meat never bothered me until recently. Whilst I never used to have a problem with him cooking, eating, etc, at home - it's his house too and we have separate pans, pots, etc (legacy from DMIL) - I have realised, now that I am the only veggie, they actually don't eat anything other than meat. I guess everyone made more of an effort when the kids were veggie too, although always carb heavy - pasta, potatoes, bread.
Anyway, here we are today, Xmas is at ours this year, and turkey and lamb were mentioned. I don't like the smell of lamb, never have, never will, but tolerated it because my DH loves a good lamb shank or curry even though it makes me churn. I don't know why it is bothering me so much now, maybe age, menopause, lifes too short, and all the rest. As we have gotten older, it seems like I have become even more veggie and he has become even more carnivorous.
AIBU to just have turkey and all the trimmings without also having a leg of lamb staring at me and filling the house with its pungent aroma.

I am now riddled with guilt for saying we are only having turkey (there will be sausage stuffing, pigs in blankets, sprouts with bacon, etc) - and feeling very selfish, after all, when you have people over, it is about them as they are your guests, but I just can't do it and everyone is in shock that we are only having turkey.

(Have just realised unintended irony of username)

Lamb is traditionally served at Easter, not Christmas. I only ever have turkey on Christmas Day so no, YANBU

Sirzy Surely it would be hugely inconvenient for someone to just turn up with a cooked leg of lamb ? Even if they paid for it and cooked it that's not really the issue, who has room for another joint of meat (even if only 'keeping it warm') in the average sized kitchen when cooking Christmas lunch. And what about separate gravy, carving board, carving knives etc ... I would not be impressed if someone turned up with an additional joint of meat to be served on Christmas Day (assuming no allergies etc).

I'm veggie as are my 2 dc, we're hosting Christmas and my parents will bring meat already cooked for themselves and dh to share.
I hear you about lamb, the smell is absolutely revolting, it also makes me feel ill op!

I do a big veggie main on Xmas eve either nutroast Wellington or beetroot and chestnut filo parcel. I then have a piece of that with my Christmas Dinner. I make a huge veggie main as everyone ears it for snacks or lunches. Everyone also knows Xmas Eve is veggie. No way would I cook two meats oukd they cook a choice of veggie mains?

As I hate turkey with a vengeance, I shall cook turkey for DH, fish for the pescatarian and marinaded chicken for the rest of us who don't eat turkey. I would LOVE lamb, but nobody else likes it!

I've never hosted or attended a Christmas dinner with more than one kind of meat, and I'm in my late 40s so that's a lot of dinner. I wouldn't expect or want it. There's more than enough to eat with a single large bird/joint plus all the non-meat trimmings and then your chosen dessert and likely loads of chocolate etc. supplementing the day.

What one of you is doing the cooking?
If you're cooking it's not unreasonable to decline to do lamb (although if lamb has already been touted to the guests then it's a bit late notice to whip it away).
If your DH is doing the cooking then it is unreasonable to tell him he can't cook lamb.

We’ve had just Turkey , Turkey with a ham, or Turkey and a rib of beef. But never Turkey and lamb.

@Ragwort

Sirzy Surely it would be hugely inconvenient for someone to just turn up with a cooked leg of lamb ? Even if they paid for it and cooked it that's not really the issue, who has room for another joint of meat (even if only 'keeping it warm') in the average sized kitchen when cooking Christmas lunch. And what about separate gravy, carving board, carving knives etc ... I would not be impressed if someone turned up with an additional joint of meat to be served on Christmas Day (assuming no allergies etc).

If someone lived close by, and brought cooked meat wrapped in foil, then a towel, and in a cool bag, then it could stay hit for a while and might not need oven space

But I agree with PP that turkey is enough, no need for lamb

We’ve never had more than a Turkey or a single alternative.

Personally I find it a bit vulgar as the two meats don’t really go together or with the same accompaniments to make the best of the flavours. Poultry and ham / gaming being an exception.

But of course people have their own preferences, and it is a bit of a compromise if they love lamb and you are sensitive to the smell.

Is it as bad for you if a relative brought a well casseroled shank in a sealed pot?

Does you DH know jow much you dislike yhe smell of lamb?
It's not unreasonable to want to enjoy your Xmas dinner without feeling as if you are going to throw up. It's not like you're forcing a vegetarian meal on th3m.

It always fascinated me how different people are. We ALWAYS have more than one meat at Christmas. Or or tradition to have a pork joint on Xmas Eve and I do pork and stuffing rolls for diver (goes back to my DHs childhood living with his butcher dad ). Then the masses of left over pork is sliced and visited with gravy and chilled. Xmas day is another meat, this year lamb. The pork is reheated and served with the meat. Boxing Day is a huge honey roast gammon. This is just the way Its always been, we've always had a meat feast. Same for all my family and DHs. We are definitely working class, maybe that's why?

Just to add, we have stuck with the extra meats as I am a absolute huge cooking monster. all the sides complement the various meat and people are free to pick and choose. It's not forced on anybody. We also do a massive Boxing Day party so all the left overs are reused and save me an absolute age the following day. This year it's lamb and veg pies, pork massaman curry and ham and macaroni cheese .

It’s completely normal to “just” have turkey on Xmas day.

And to “just” have turkey on Boxing Day too.

One of the joys of cooking a large turkey (and all the sides) is that there is plenty for everyone, and plenty left over.

Cooking several different meat options is impractical for most people in terms of money, space and time/effort. It also smacks of conspicuous consumerism.

we only ever have turkey.
Cannot imgain the need for lamb as well.

and cannot imgaine where we would cook it as our double oven if full of potatoes, parsnips, carrots, stuffing, bread sauce etc etc so no room for another joint.

You are hosting.
No lamb.

If they want lamb, they can have it on New year's Eve at their house

My dh favourite meal of the year is a selection of cold meats on Boxing day. I always cook turkey, ham and beef for Christmas dinner. Everyone can choose a little slice of each or only one meat or two if they'd prefer. The rest is for Boxing day and beyond. We've always done it this way but everyone is different.
I have NEVER cooked lamb for Christmas though. I love roast lamb and mint sauce but save that one for New Year's day. I'd say someone else should cook the lamb at their house and bring it over sliced. That way you won't have the smell to put up with.

@mathanxiety

I have never once in all my 27 years of cooking Christmas dinner served more than one meat. It's been either turkey or beef.

Go for it.

Same. I’m completely gobsmacked that people cook more than one meat. I run out of oven space as it is.

I do the ham in the slow cooker. The beef is small so doesn't really take up much room

Until MN I’ve never known the idea of more than one meat with Christmas dinner-and always turkey, at that. The ILs, who were quite posh, would have a ham on the sideboard during the holiday for cold cuts but, as PPs have said, surely it would be a right mishmash of condiments and suitable sides to have two hot meat dishes?

Also, as a veggie, you’re already offering a compromise by cooking a main meat dish which you don’t eat so anyone who isn’t grateful can bollocks off and host a lamb extrvaganza a few days later while you stay at home, face down in Quality Street

Really and truly you could cut your OP right down to the actual problem.

"I've been asked to cook a leg of lamb as well as turkey, but the smell turns my stomach. AIBU not to cook it?"

Of course YANBU.

I’m not a vegetarian but lamb has a particularly strong smell that makes me feel sick too even though I like the taste of it. Any other meat would be better than lamb.

YANBU! I am a veggie and my DM is too. She cooks the Christmas roast so gets ready to cook turkey that involves zero prep from her. She also does pigs in blankets. Never does she do a second meat as well. She might get beef or gammon to have in the days after Christmas to go with the leftovers but it’s not cooked and eaten on Christmas Day.

Lamb smells awful whilst cooking and I would hate that smell filling up the whole house.

If you don’t want it, and you’re cooking, just say no.

Only ever turkey and gammon (cooked the day before and not served with the trad dinner) here.
I do often wonder how people manage to cook two roasts, as well as all the spuds and sides. I need my double oven just for what we have.

I wouldn’t find lamb at all Christmassy, and would never cook it on Chr. Day. The smell of the turkey cooking is part of the day, to me - and lamb is particularly ‘aromatic’ while cooking.

I did once cook beef, since was cooking at very elderly DM’s and she didn’t like turkey, but never again. We like beef, but it’s just not Christmassy.

For some reason pork would seem Christmassy, though. Maybe because we usually had it on Boxing Day when I was a kid.

Its a bit gross and entirely unnecessary to have two roasts, so long as the one you do is delicious. It's also wasteful, generally.

I'd say 100x YANBU also re the smell of lamb.

But what do I know I've been vegetarian for 39 years

I've been in the same position re being vegetarian and everyone else being a meat eater. I always used to cook meat for them, but refused to cook lamb. The smell turns my stomach. There's no need for more than one meat (and generally not room for more than one in the oven). With everything else that goes with the meal they're unlikely to go hungry!