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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Christmas card exhange?

45 replies

LeninaC · 20/12/2021 23:54

Am I being unreasonable to wish that at least half the people to whom I send Christmas cards would respond?

OP posts:

IKnowAPlace · 21/12/2021 00:01

Most people don't send cards anymore. I've only received them from people I see regularly so had time to quickly write one in return.

Original poster

LeninaC · 21/12/2021 00:03

@IKnowAPlace

Most people don't send cards anymore. I've only received them from people I see regularly so had time to quickly write one in return.

So you don't bother to initiate any yourself? Do you like getting them, or is it a bore?

OP posts:

PilesEdgeworth · 21/12/2021 00:05

I don’t think many people send them anymore. Obviously they’re not particularly environmentally friendly, but also the way we communicate has changed since the advent of social media.

Offdutyfrom5 · 21/12/2021 00:07

YABU. I think the motto to remember here is “don’t send to receive.” Then you won’t be disappointed.

WorraLiberty · 21/12/2021 00:11

Respond in what way?

A text/phone call to say thank you or a card in return?

I don't send cards anymore, except to my elderly relatives and that's only because they kind of expect them.

I'd much rather send text or make a phone call to say 'Happy Christmas' etc.

Marvellousmadness · 21/12/2021 00:11

Not really selfless when you send them then?it should be about it bringing you joy in sending them. It should be about making them smile . It shouldnt revolve around a thank you.

Imagine the person who receives 36 cards. Does he/she really have to text a thank you to all those people??

Original poster

LeninaC · 21/12/2021 22:23

@Marvellousmadness

Not really selfless when you send them then?it should be about it bringing you joy in sending them. It should be about making them smile . It shouldnt revolve around a thank you.

Imagine the person who receives 36 cards. Does he/she really have to text a thank you to all those people??

I'm not sure if your comment is directed at me, but I certainly didn't use the word "selfless." I don't think that we do much in life that is completely selfless.

And most people aren't so blinkered as to have only one idea, one goal for an action. Yes, I hope that people will smile, but it's also to keep in touch with people not in my daily-weekly-monthly circle.

I'm guessing that no one who receives 36 cards would be a person who sends none. Unless, of course, it's a matter of professional status. And I'm puzzled that some here seem to think the way to rspond to a Christmas card is with a text saying thank-you.

OP posts:

KrispyKale · 21/12/2021 22:26

It's certainly dropped out of fashion.
Which is fine in my book.

icedcoffees · 21/12/2021 22:27

Cards are a waste of time and money, plus they're awful for the environment too.

Palavah · 21/12/2021 22:29

Do you put your address on the inside of the card, or the back of the envelope?

Have they missed more than 1 year in a row?

TwinklyBranch · 21/12/2021 22:31

I send Christmas cards because I like doing it. I don't care at all if I get any back or not.

HollyChristmas · 21/12/2021 22:32

Cut right down on cards , but still sent around 25 , had 16 back and know some will not return but as elderly relatives / neighbours aged 75+ still like to receive them.

WouldIBeATwat · 21/12/2021 22:36

I'm guessing that no one who receives 36 cards would be a person who sends none.

I’ve no idea how many cards we get but we haven’t sent a card to anyone for almost 20 years. Hate the things. Wish others didn’t bother wasting time and money on sending them to us.

bananaboats · 21/12/2021 22:44

I don't think many people do them anymore, if they aren't reciprocating I think you need to get the hint!

toots111 · 21/12/2021 22:47

I don’t send Christmas cards. I never have. And yet every year I get 30+. If people are so annoyed at me not sending one back (esp to the extent they’re bitching about me on the internet) the simple solution is to not send me one next year. I do not ask anyone to send one and would be perfectly happy to never receive another card. I’m not going to start sending cards just because other people feel the need to send one to me. But that’s just me

user1493494961 · 21/12/2021 22:47

I send cards to people I like to keep in touch with and don't see very often. If I'm in contact with someone on social media, I send a message and don't bother with a card. People I see regularly, I'll wish a 'Happy Christmas' in person, a card seems pointless.

coronafiona · 21/12/2021 22:55

I only send to old people and people I don't see very often. The card we got this year are much fewer in number and I only bought about 30 to send.

Stopsnowing · 21/12/2021 22:57

I send cards to everyone I want and reciprocate cards for any others. It is my way of showing that I am thinking of someone and making the effort. Texts etc are not the same. I don’t expect them back but am pleased to have them.

Yogaandcocoa · 21/12/2021 22:58

Not everyone se Ds Christmas cards so yes YABU to expect them especially as by now you must know who usually sends them to you

I always send to my family and DHs but most of DH family have not bothered again so don't think I will next year!

About10thusername · 21/12/2021 23:03

I know someone who passively aggressively sends Christmas cards and birthday cards mainly because she wants to be seen as the type of person who is organised enough to send cards (rather than because she's thinking of those people and wishes them well).
Do not be that person!
If you want to send them, go for it. But don't be a dick about receiving them back because most people don't give a shit.

LittleRoundRobin · 21/12/2021 23:29

There's always so many people on mumsnet who claim they don't 'do' Christmas cards, and never send any. 95% of people I know send them. And the very few who don't, are 25 and under.

Funny really, I worked with an 'I don't do cards' person (aged 24) some ten years ago. So I obliged and sent cards to the 7 other people in our office, but not her. Several others did the same. Didn't send her one. She carped and moaned and bitched, and said it was spiteful and hurtful for her to be left out. Fucking ludicrous.

Quite a few people are like this. Don't care to send things/give things, but cry like a bratty little spoilt princess when people don't send something to THEM, and leave them out!

Kite22 · 21/12/2021 23:33

YANBU, unless you send out hundreds of course.

I love receiving cards. I don't give them to 'everyone' - so not colleagues, not people I do my hobby with etc - I send them to people I don't see so often.
I read on MN quite a lot that people don't send them, but that isn't my experience.
I certainly send plenty and receive plenty (just had a count, as I am in our living room and there are 48 at the minute - I've not put up those received today yet, and obviously there are a couple more days to go, so we'll probably end up with 70ish.
I suspect those that never send them, then don't get that many, and then work on the assumption that "nobody" sends them anymore, when clearly a lot do.

Ionlydomassiveones · 21/12/2021 23:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

VestaTilley · 21/12/2021 23:44

We still send and receive a lot, I love getting them and we display them during Advent and Christmas.

We don’t send in order to receive back, but I suppose if we go years without hearing from someone (card, text or email) we’ll probably prune our list.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/12/2021 23:46

Yabu to expect anyone to send you a christmas card.

They are a total waste of time, money and resources imo.

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