Been with Dh since we were late teenagers, we were crazy back then, v intense and lots of rows but also v in love. I saw dh’s family as an extension of mine at the time and often stayed over..until I overheard his Dm bitching about me, I was so hurt I put distance between us and didn’t go over as frequently. We ended up travelling the world and moving abroad, so I didn’t have to see them often and was cordial during short visits with them.
A few years ago mil used to WhatsApp me a lot and we ended up texting a lot, both offering each other support through various things, until I realised lots I said was going back to my sil. I hadn’t said anything bad but just felt anything I’d confided in her about was being discussed. Again, I backed off, have been polite since but short in replies and not really engaged.
Sil is a strong character and came to stay at our house a few years ago, during this time I overheard her laughing to her Dd (my goddaughter) about my denim shorts not fitting properly and being too big and making a joke song up about *Someone being moody (clearly me, yes I was moody as she’s a huge bitch)
Dh’s family are always falling out and having drama amongst themselves, which I don't understand and don’t get involved in anymore. It seems that mil is v attention seeking/poor me and stirs up trouble between Dh and his siblings, sil is often the mouthpiece for her.
We have a toddler dd, that they barely know due to covid restrictions/living abroad etc. Sil now seems v keen to be involved and facetimes dd saying how dd will come over to her house and stay with them etc. Dd finds it a bit overwhelming, which she doesn’t seem to understand.
Mil started to message me lots again.
Aibu to just really not want to engage with these people or have them in my life? Would you?
I want dd to have a relationship with dh’s other side of the family, I just find it so hard not to dislike them and don’t want them around dd in my heart of hearts.