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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting to do LTR for Xmas

51 replies

Wizotto · 20/12/2021 21:09

Asked everyone invited to Christmas at ours to do a lateral flow test first as MIL coming and she would like this to happen. DB has kicked off at requirement as late notice and not a legal requirement and thinks I am being unreasonable to ask as not asked for this before. I don’t think it is at all unreasonable as MIL is in late 70s and has taken every precaution so far. Have offered to send a test if he can’t get hold of one if he lets me know asap.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/12/2021 21:10

Just tell him to do the test. If its the nasal only one it only takes 15 minutes out of his life to do it

2018SoFarSoGreat · 20/12/2021 21:11

He said not a legal requirement? That's ridiculous and so rude. Just tell him it is YOUR requirement, so hold firm. What an ass.

dementedpixie · 20/12/2021 21:11

I assume you mean LFT btw?

TwinklyBranch · 20/12/2021 21:13

It's hardly late notice, LFTs are quick to do. YANBU. No test, no turkey!

Original poster
Wizotto · 20/12/2021 21:14

yes just the LFT…

OP posts:
Dimondsareforever · 20/12/2021 21:18

You are not in the wrong op. I do get why some people might think ‘yeah but if I’m positive I’m screwed for Christmas and have no food in’. Which I get. I questioned myself. But ultimately I’d rather be SI over Christmas than have it and pass it on to elderly members of the family and they get seriously ill … just point out to him how selfish he is being ..

sheiselectric · 20/12/2021 21:22

I don't understand the selfishness of some people. There are vulnerable people at ours for Christmas this year and I am being made to feel guilty and unreasonable for asking for people do do a lft beforehand 😐 I am being made to feel like the grinch.

lemoncrisp · 20/12/2021 21:26

In my family we have all agreed to do LFTs before meeting up for Christmas ...seems sensible to all of us.

MumW · 20/12/2021 21:30

We always do LFTs before visiting anyone. It's commonsense.
I would uninvite him as I wouldn't trust him to actually do one now.

ChocolateRiver · 20/12/2021 21:30

I think you’re absolutely right to ask. Dc were due to go to grandparents today with their cousins. They requested the dc did a LFT first which we did and it’s a good job because ds was positive! Waiting on PCR results now. He has no symptoms at all, not even a bit of cold so I was shocked to see that the LFT was positive. Imagine if we’d sent them and he’d infected his grandparents, aunt and cousins. Totally shit that it looks like ds has Covid, but pleased we caught it and have hopefully stopped him spreading it.

KaycePollard · 20/12/2021 21:31

It’s polite, sensible and caring.

Your brother sounds like a bit of an ignorant arse. Sorry.

smashingbaubles · 20/12/2021 21:43

Just had a literal screaming match with my mum down the phone about this exact issue for Christmas. No advice, just you’re not the only one going through it. We are not being unreasonable.

sheiselectric · 20/12/2021 21:44

@ChocolateRiver

I think you’re absolutely right to ask. Dc were due to go to grandparents today with their cousins. They requested the dc did a LFT first which we did and it’s a good job because ds was positive! Waiting on PCR results now. He has no symptoms at all, not even a bit of cold so I was shocked to see that the LFT was positive. Imagine if we’d sent them and he’d infected his grandparents, aunt and cousins. Totally shit that it looks like ds has Covid, but pleased we caught it and have hopefully stopped him spreading it.
Wish everyone was like you.
ItsSnowJokes · 20/12/2021 21:45

We are testing daily this week before picking up my ECV mum on Friday. Its what caring non selfish people do. I would uninvite him or say he has to do the LFT on the doorstep infront of you as I wouldn't trust him to actually do it right now.

Yummiliscious · 20/12/2021 21:51

He is utterly selfish. Be clear, “we won’t be able to meet without a negative an LFT”. My neighbour is exactly like that, they never test themselves just in case its positive and they have to inconvenience themselves or cancel their precious activities.

Kshhuxnxk · 20/12/2021 21:55

I have been lft twice weekly for aa long as I've been able to. We had friends over on Saturday and we all did lft because three of us have elderly and infirm parents. DP who is not vaccinated by choice also happy to do it. Just common sense now.

tobedtoMN · 20/12/2021 22:03

Don't fall out with him. We all have the right to measure our own risks. You don't get to police him. However you do get to say what you will accept in your own home.

CovoidOfAllHumanity · 20/12/2021 22:04

Chocolateriver I was coming on to say the exact same thing!

We were all packed up to go to grandparents and I made everyone do an LFT as a precaution and was incredulous and devastated that DS came up positive

He has no symptoms at all but there had been cases in his class at school. 2 days later he is complaining of feeling tired and headachy but no cough, temp or taste changes.

At first I was kicking myself for doing the tests and ruining Christmas and then I realised that not doing it and infecting GPs, cousins and anyone else we came into contact with would have been worse. We could have ruined a lot of peoples Christmas not just our own.

I think LFT before mixing is just sensible and should be absolutely standard before seeing anyone older or vulnerable. Tell him to do one.

Chunkymonkey13 · 20/12/2021 22:06

Isn’t it just sensible to do a lateral before mixing? I don’t see the issue

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 20/12/2021 22:06

Late notice? It takes half an hour! Pathetic.

rrhuth · 20/12/2021 22:08

Just say that is fine, we will hopefully see you next year and give him advance notice he will have to do a test then.

BurntO · 20/12/2021 22:12

It’s late notice considering no one can order online atm

dementedpixie · 20/12/2021 22:13

Can you not pick them up.from other places?
I get them from my local sports centre

MadMadMadamMim · 20/12/2021 22:15

I'd simply say to him that it's fine, you'll see him at some point in the New Year then.

He's a self centred idiot. What's the problem with doing a test?

givethatbabyaname · 20/12/2021 22:16

Late notice? How far in advance of his leaving home did you tell him?