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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to pay for a missed lesson?

67 replies

FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 10:54

Dd is 17 and has a lesson twice a week on set days.

The teacher asked her to switch days this week and she agreed.

However, dd didn’t know that plans to visit family were being made.

She’s now going to miss her lesson and I’ll have to pay, despite the fact that she’s available for her usual slot.

AIBU to think that this is a bit unfair considering she was trying to fit in with the teacher’s schedule when agreeing to the change?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 20/12/2021 10:56

She did agree to change the slot though. How soon after agreeing to change the slot did she inform the tutor she could not do the new time?

NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2021 10:57

Has she asked to change again? Or carry the credit over into the new year?

If she has and the teacher said no then YANBU.

If she hasn't asked then YABU to ask for a refund without trying to reschedule first.

Comefromaway · 20/12/2021 10:57

How soon after agreeing to switch did she realise the issue.

Ds's guitar teacher asked him to switch days last week, ds agreed but I pointed out we had cinema tickets booked. However it was only 24 hours after the switch request that we informed the teacher so we didn't have to pay.

Scarydinosaurs · 20/12/2021 10:57

I would never agree with a student and not confirm with the adult.

YANBU

Billybagpuss · 20/12/2021 10:57

Have you spoken to the teacher, let her know DD didn't know the alternative time wasn't convenient and you'd like to have the lesson at the usual time.

I'm a private teacher and wouldn't charge in that instant and actually feel its unfair if she does but it depends on the contract you have and her good will.

Lockheart · 20/12/2021 10:57

Well your DD agreed to the new date, so I don't think this is on the teacher! Can't the lesson be moved again?

namechanged221 · 20/12/2021 10:57

She agreed to the time change....

But maybe her teacher should check with you next time?

I'd say that in this case the lesson should be rearranged again at a time convenient for both? Or do it on zoom...

Comefromaway · 20/12/2021 10:58

@Scarydinosaurs

I would never agree with a student and not confirm with the adult.

YANBU

The OP's dd is 17 (as is my son). He arranges the lessons himself, I have no involvement whatsoever.
NuffSaidSam · 20/12/2021 10:58

It's also a good lesson for both of you in why it's important to communicate the family schedule with each other.

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 10:58

It’d only be 24 hours unfortunately. I do see the other side but it’s so frustrating for me as I thought we’d leave today after her lesson so was trying to factor it in.

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 20/12/2021 10:59

She’s 17, she is an adult in terms of organising her time.

I’d try to reorganise again if possible. If not then she agreed to the change of time im afraid.

cauliflowersqueeze · 20/12/2021 11:00

If you pay the music teacher then the “contract”, which would include the times etc, are for you to adjust and not him. It depends how you set it all up really.

underneaththeash · 20/12/2021 11:04

Teacher should have checked with you, not her. You're the one paying, not your DD.

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:04

True, she’s almost an adult but sadly that doesn’t extend to paying the fees!

I’ve asked for an alternative but none is available.

As far as the lesson in communication goes, the family visit was all fairly last minute from our end due to possible lockdown.

I do accept that technically we’re liable to pay but I do think it’s a little unfair as dd was trying to accommodate the teacher.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 20/12/2021 11:06

She agreed the slot, so yes it needs to be paid, the fact there was no communication in yout home between you both is not the teachers fault.

steppemum · 20/12/2021 11:08

hmm, I do private lessons and in this case I would not expect you to pay.

But I can see both sides, your dd did agree to the swap.

try a compromise. Explain to the teacher, apologise and ask for a compromise eg pay half

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:08

@Bluntness100 there was communication but dd got muddled about times so didn’t register the clash immediately. I will pay but I think if I were the teacher I’d feel it was a bit unfair to charge.

OP posts:
WindyState · 20/12/2021 11:09

@Scarydinosaurs

I would never agree with a student and not confirm with the adult.

YANBU

We're talking about a 17 year old here, not a primary aged kid.

She agreed to the change, OP should pay.

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:12

I will pay but it’s £60 so I’m gutted tbh as I don’t think it’s 100% fair.

OP posts:
Tal45 · 20/12/2021 11:12

I would tell dd in future to check with you before confirming changes to anything that you have to pay for.

steppemum · 20/12/2021 11:16

as I said, contact teacher and ask for compromise

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:17

Btw there is no contract at all. I just know from past conversation dd had with them that it’s 48hours cancellation.

I confess to feigning ignorance and have messaged saying I’m unsure of cancellation policy. A bit disingenuous of me but hoping they’ll offer a compromise.

OP posts:
Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:18

X Post @steppemum

OP posts:
Hemingwayscatz · 20/12/2021 11:19

She agreed to the slot so should pay unless it can be changed again? Has she explained that she didn’t realise she had plans that day so can they swap again?

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:20

@Hemingwayscatz I’ve texted asking for a swap if they get a late cancellation and asking for clarification of cancellation policy but I know from previous conversation dd had with them that they’ll expect payment.

OP posts: