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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want to pay for a missed lesson?

67 replies

FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 10:54

Dd is 17 and has a lesson twice a week on set days.

The teacher asked her to switch days this week and she agreed.

However, dd didn’t know that plans to visit family were being made.

She’s now going to miss her lesson and I’ll have to pay, despite the fact that she’s available for her usual slot.

AIBU to think that this is a bit unfair considering she was trying to fit in with the teacher’s schedule when agreeing to the change?

OP posts:
cauliflowersqueeze · 20/12/2021 11:21

I think it’s fair enough asking for a compromise. You don’t have a written contract but you do have a form of contract

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 11:23

Yes but he’s never told the cancellation terms to the person who pays…

OP posts:
cauliflowersqueeze · 20/12/2021 11:28

Exactly. Let us know how it goes!

KeyWorker · 20/12/2021 11:33

@Scarydinosaurs

I would never agree with a student and not confirm with the adult.

YANBU

She’s 17 not 7!
JustLikeaJingleBell · 20/12/2021 11:34

I think she should be flexible this one time as the teacher requested the change without making sure it was 100 % ok that there was nothing else you had booked on the new day

CrimbleCrumble1 · 20/12/2021 11:36

I would offer half.

INeedNewShoes · 20/12/2021 11:39

I’m a teacher. I do charge for lessons missed with little notice but in this situation no way would I charge!

steppemum · 20/12/2021 11:44

the issue I think is less that dd can't do the lesson and more that the teacher swapped it in the first place.

That is why I think the teacher should show some flexibility and compromise.

It is one of the down sides of being a private teacher.
I have had to cancel all lessons for last 2 weeks of term, and that means no income for those two weeks. I have still sent out work to keep them going over the holidays.
It si just the way it is.

Beautiful3 · 20/12/2021 11:45

At 17, she is still a child. I would contact the tutor and explain that the swap is no good to you. I wouldn't pay for that swap. Remind your daughter not to agree to changes, unless they've been run past you first.

DelphiniumBlue · 20/12/2021 11:54

You are the person who pays and so the teacher needs to agree any changes with you. DC is 17, almost but not yet an adult. Inn these circumstances teacher should not be requesting payment. Have they in fact done so?
They could offer an alternative for a lesson, that could be into next year if necessary.

MajorCarolDanvers · 20/12/2021 11:56

Sorry your dd agreed to this. It's not the teacher,s fault.

UsernameFail · 20/12/2021 11:58

YANBU

Mistakes happen especially at this time of year and certainly under the threat of another lockdown/ restrictions etc the teacher could just say let's reschedule for another time.
24hrs is also not an unreasonable amount of time to go back and say actually this is not going to work for us either.

I think the teacher is being awkward unnecessarily

CatJumperTwat · 20/12/2021 12:05

Is this driving lessons?

PuppyMonkey · 20/12/2021 12:13

I also think the teacher would be really out of order making you go ahead and pay for this. No matter what age the student is.

Foolsrule · 20/12/2021 12:19

YABU, the teacher believed your daughter had agreed to a change in good faith. Why can’t your DD miss the additional activity you arranged?

icedcoffees · 20/12/2021 12:25

I assume it's driving lessons given the cost?

I never had a formal contract but I would absolutely expect to pay if I had to cancel last minute. IMO it's irrelevant that it's not her usual day, your DD agreed to the swap and is now (unintentionally, I know) messing her instructor about by cancelling last minute.

Maybe DD should pay for half the cost of the lesson?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/12/2021 12:34

If DD was 7 I would agree but she is 17 and old enough to be organised with regards to what she is doing and when. She agreed to the swap and so it is reasonable for the teacher to expect her to attend on the agreed date, she should have said no to the swap or asked to get back to the teacher if she wasn’t sure she could do it.

DumplingsAndStew · 20/12/2021 12:51

However, dd didn’t know that plans to visit family were being made.

and

there was communication but dd got muddled about times so didn’t register the clash immediately.

So did she know or not?

PuppyMonkey · 20/12/2021 12:51

Shame the instructor wasn’t organised enough to keep the original slot then.

Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 12:52

Yes she knew but didn’t realise we were staying overnight. We have to due to distance and arrival time but she didn’t register that until too late.

OP posts:
Original poster
FluffyCushion123 · 20/12/2021 12:55

@DumplingsAndStew she didn’t know before booking the lesson, then she was told but didn’t spot the clash due to the point in my last post.

@PuppyMonkey indeed.

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 20/12/2021 12:56

@PuppyMonkey

Shame the instructor wasn’t organised enough to keep the original slot then.
It's irrelevant though, as DD agreed to the swap. It's not the instructors fault that DD forgot she had plans.

If the instructor couldn't keep the original slot or offer an alternative, then it would be unreasonable to charge, but she offered an alternative an OP's DD agreed to swap.

BHX3000 · 20/12/2021 12:56

The answer is a family shared google calendar where plans are written in immediately after they’re done. Before she rearranges a lesson, she checks the calendar to see if there is something it will clash with.

As a private tutor, I would personally offer to try and make the lesson up in January, I’d be flexible in this situation. But I also understand why they wouldn’t, they agreed a slot and it’s your daughter who can’t do it in the end anymore. It doesn’t matter that it’s not her usual slot.

JudgeRindersMinder · 20/12/2021 12:57

@Scarydinosaurs

I would never agree with a student and not confirm with the adult.

YANBU

She’s 17!!

When my kids were learning to drive at 17 their arrangements were between them and the instructor

Scarydinosaurs · 20/12/2021 13:01

@JudgeRindersMinder

When I read the OP I assumed it was exam tuition for college/musical instrument.

For many of those types of students you absolutely would not ask the pupil, but the parent who is arranging the sessions.

Driving lessons are totally different - if your main point of contact is the 17 year old then you definitely arrange with them.