Anyone have healthy and happy older children after very anxious and/or stressful pregnancy??

[Momtobe88]

Looking for some positives stories that can hopefully put my mind at ease!

Around 20 weeks I made the mistake go googling anxiety/stress during pregnancy after I had some anxiety dreams. WHAT A MISTAKE! All the articles about cortisol getting through the placenta and causing issues with the baby's brain made my anxiety go crazy.

Unfortunately, this only made me worry about worrying and have horrible dreams every night, until 38 weeks when DD was born. I would wake up with my heart racing and then be so upset (crying) about it the following days my heart rate won't return to normal. The most recent article stated they have seen on MRIs that after a stressful pregnancy the baby's hippocampus is smaller therefore leading to depression later in life, especially with DDs.

Anyone had experience with an anxiety ridden/stressful pregnancy and have healthy and happy children? Especially older children since that's when many issues come out?I don't want to have this in the back of my mind her whole life!

It may be living in a bubble, but please do not tell me horror stories or if this did indeed happened to you, as it will only make my anxiety worse!

I was an utter wreck both times, when my first son was born my first comment was "is it alive?" I'd had a few early losses and spent the pregnancy terrified. I then went into horrendous PND and was under mental health care for my second. But again, I was crazy anxious and spent the whole pregnancy stressed.

My kids are 8 and 6 and absolutely fine, well no more unwell or problematic than anyone else's.

Don't let these things get to you, all you can do is be yourself, relax when you can and get through it.

I had terrible anxiety during my pregnancy and the latter bit was the start of lockdown which sent my panic sky high

DD is the easiest, happiest and most chilled toddler ever. People used to say “oh she’s such an easy baby cos you’re so relaxed around her!” And I thought “if only you knew”.

Please don’t let it worry you, the irony of having another thing to worry about isn’t lost on me. But it won’t do the baby any harm and you should focus on addressing the root causes of your worry first

My 17 year old! I had a really stressful pregnancy, with lots of anxiety and lots of pregnancy health problems, plus lots of difficulties with my mum and I was studying for my first degree.

Shes totally healthy, happy and a lovely girl.

Yes but she's fine. Happy and healthy. A joy. Even as a teen.

STOP GOOGLING.!

Women successfully have babies even in the most horrific circumstances, war and famine. We're so wonderful.

My sister had a really awful pregnancy (bereavement, depression, anxiety etc) followed by a shocker traumatic birth, couldn’t BF, struggled to bond for a wee bit

He’s as happy as Larry, 18, very confident, lots of friends, academic, god relationship with parents. A lazy bugger at times.. but only within the norms of teendom.

Echoing the PP - STOP GOOGLING - THE BABY WILL BE GRAND

I had horrendous anxiety during DS's pregnancy as I'd had 3 losses prior. I was worrying about worrying while pregnant and was sick with fear the whole way through the pregnancy thinking I'd lose him.

He's now a relaxed, self-possessed, confident teen.

Don't be punishing yourself with anxiety. Speak to your GP ASAP. Xxx

I had a horrible pregnancy with DS - lost a twin early on, then had a tear in placenta and was on bed rest for months. My father died. DS was born 7 weeks early and was very poorly, had to go into NICU.

He is a completely chilled, healthy and hilarious 10 year old.

Please speak to your GP about your anxiety.

My experience is that stress in pregnancy has had absolutely no effect on the baby at all. The most important thing is to be a calm and confident parent (easier said than done) and give them a secure and stable home environment.

I had a horrendous pregnancy with my dd including bereavement and her dad decided to get fiscally abusive and I spent time in a refuge. Dd is almost 20 now and in her 3rd year of uni.
Please ignore the guilt inducing Google bs. They just want to blame everything on mum (never dad though )

Yes! My ds17 is super laidback and happy. My pregnancy was very stressful (long story but my dr advised me to abort and until he was born I had no idea if he was healthy - he was!)

Mine aren’t anxious although they’re only young still. What I will say, is if your anxiety is this bad now, it may also continue once the baby is born. So it’s worth trying to get some support if possible.

Awful anxiety and stress during DC1, I had HG and was sick every day, family stressing me out and work. It was not a nice pregnancy. DC2 I learnt to control the stress more and relax better.

DC1 is very laid back while DC2 is not.

I spent the last two weeks of my last pregnancy with my stress level sky high. My toddler had covid and I was terrified (following two losses) that I would get it and lose the baby. Or toddler would be really sick. Or partner would be really sick - didn't sleep for most of the isolation period.

Baby arrived and he is the most content and easy going baby.

I remember Googling this when I was pregnant! From what I read it was more about extremely 'toxic stress' that you might get from something like homelessness, repeated domestic violence, very severe mental health problems or significant bereavement. I know it's easier said than done but try not to worry, all pregnant women have some stress in their lives, it's a normal part of living.

Yes. My DC1 who is 17.

I was bullied very badly at work, had not planned a baby, was very stressed, unhappy and tearful for a lot of the pregnancy and felt guilty about that. Also had PND for his first year and felt terrible about about that.

Fast forward: he’s in y13, and he’s lovely. He’s kind, gentle, has a wonderful girlfriend, has a strong sense of who he is and what his moral compass is, and is currently applying for medical school.

I wish I had worried less, and enjoyed his early years a bit more - but it’s easier said than done. It took until baby #3 for me to enjoy it!

Babies are tough: they will be ok, and so will you. As others have said- don’t Google any more :-). Best of wishes with it all.

Thanks for all the replies! Every happy story helps me feel better!

@Hoardasurass that sounds extremely stressful. Im so sorry you had to go through all that. I see you mentioned your DD is in uni, Is she happy and healthy as well?

My 6 year is old is a happy, confident child despite me having terrible HG and being in distress and vomiting for 8 months of pregnancy!

Please get help with your anxiety, that's the most important thing.

I often wonder if DC2 is permanently angry as a result of my extremely stressful second pregnancy. He is very bright but also super feisty and combative. I guess I’ll never know. DC1 is a complete poppet and that pregnancy was dreamy.

Yes! Please don’t worry OP, I had almost constant panic attacks and severe anxiety when pregnant with my youngest son. I remember worrying how it would affect him too.

His birth weight was slightly lower than expected just because I kept losing weight during the pregnancy- stomach issues caused by the anxiety and no appetite. Other than that he was and is completely fine!

He’s 16 now and can honestly say he’s one of the calmest, most resilient and kindest people that I know. He’s at college, has a gf and good friends, generally very happy. So please try not to go down the rabbit hole of worrying about the baby- there is a lot of misinformation out there that can make you feel even worse at a time when you need to be taking care and showing yourself some kindness.

My mum's dad died unexpectedly and suddenly when she was in the first trimester with me, so it was a very stressful and sad pregnancy for her. She told me recently that she just assumed she would miscarry me - she desperately didn't want to but she didn't see how she could be so overwhelmed with grief and her body continue a pregnancy. But she didn't, and I am fine! I did have some mental health challenges in my 20s but so did lots and lots of my peers - one thing to bear in mind is that about 25% of people have depression at some point in their lives, so if your child is one of them there's no reason to assume that anxiety in pregnancy was the cause.

I went through an extremely stressful and painful bereavement with one of mine. The situation started when I was about 4 months so it was the majority of my pregnancy and throughout the 4th trimester (traumatic grief combined with pnd was NOT fun).
He’s only a toddler now but my god is he a gorgeous loving little thing. He is so much more affectionate and happy than his sibling, he has one of those dispositions where he’s always happy and smiling.
He’s very sociable and confident - again way more than sibling. He’s also more advanced in vocabulary, walked earlier and is more emotionally stable than sibling.
Of course all of this is anecdotal as he may have been this way regardless of the pregnancy but the point is, I went through the worst period of my entire life when I was pregnant with him and he’s come out like a run of bloody sunshine.

Stay off Google OP. Whilst it’s good for basic research you can’t apply any context to most of what you read online.
Babies are resilient, our bodies are incredibly good at keeping them safe.

Fucked up adults are caused by fucked up childhoods not stressful pregnancies

@Momtobe88 yes she is very happy and healthy ,she is very much enjoying life (well as much as you can during covid).
Ironically it's my ds who I had a blissfully stress and anxiety free pregnancy who has inherited my asd and his dads adhd.
Honestly please don't worry or stress yourself out over this as most of the so called research about this is floored and/or biased showing that there may be a correlation not causation. Like much of the stuff that you read about pregnancy and child rearing everything is the mums fault from whether you breast or bottle feed through plastic cup use right up to whether you only cook from scratch with all organic food. People like to have someone or something else to blame rather than the dumb luck of a genetic lottery ie my child is normal because I did/didn't do whatever the latest thing is whilst it's your fault that your child is "affected" becauseyoudid/didn'tdo whatever. You can see this phenomenon best in the vaccine causes autism crowd who insist that my ds only has asd because he had his mmr and has nothing to do with me having asd or the family history going back generations

I had a very stressful pregnancy after 2 miscarriages. I worried the whole way through and at the end I was very anxious about stillbirth, as my son was so late. I had a really terrible birth, during which my body went into shock. My son was very distressed and has to be dragged out quickly and I was later diagnosed with PTSD. However, my son (now 10) - after a few difficult weeks of colic - has been an absolute delight. He is super chilled out, very bright and the happiest of children. He was a very easy baby. His teachers always comment on his good nature and he is pretty unflappable and calm, so please don't worry. I am sure everything will be just fine.

OP, searching on Google just adds to your stress. I had 2 really stressful pregnancies with horrific HG. Both DD are now very happy, healthy and loving being at uni. Got lots of friends and are both doing well. Try not to worry. Have a lovely Christmas 🎄 x.