Should my fiancé tell his best friend, his ex is dating one of his friends?

[NorthSouthcatlady]

Let’s call fiancé’s best friend Richard, Richard dated a mutual friend of fiancé’s called Katrina. Richard styled it out they were all casual because he thought that’s what Katrina wanted. In reality he was besotted and in love with Katrina. Their relationship imploded a bit after he had a freak out about Katrina -she / is was a bit of a party animal. She thought they were on the same page but errr they weren’t.

Roll forward 10 years or so Richard is still hung up on Katrina. Problem is she’s started dating Matthew who is another friend in the group and they’ve started living together. I’ve said to my fiancé Richard should be told but he doesn’t want to get involved. Richard is a lovely guy and deserves to know. I’m dreading him finding out and then working out other people i.e. us and others know. I like everyone but lm a big fan of honesty is the best policy? I won’t interfere but lm feeling uncomfortable about it all

It's been 10 years. Richard needs to get over it.

Stay out of it.

Richard sounds like a bit of a prick TBH.

It was TEN years ago

Does he fuck 'deserve to know' 😂😂

Richard is a lovely guy and deserves to know.

No. Richard broke up with her 10 YEARS ago and needs to get over it. You're all also behaving as if it's OK to still be pining over someone you had a casual thing with a decade ago. It's actually a bit weird and creepy. Just behave as if it's not his business because it's not his business.

I’m dreading him finding out and then working out other people i.e. us and others know.

And honestly OP, this does make you sound like a drama llama.

@RaPumPumPumPum don’t worry lm keeping out of it and won’t stage an intervention. Just dreading it when it all comes out

@MrsTerryPratchett he didn’t break up with her. It was more of a mutual implosion

Ten YEARS
If it was ten months I'd have more sympathy, but Richard isn't entitled to updates on Katrinas personal life when they casually dated a decade ago.

@WorraLiberty lm really not a drama llama but l don’t like people getting hurt / upset. But l concede l wouldn’t personally perceive l have any ownership over someone l dated 10 years ago. But then again l think dating people in the same friendship group is dodgy…

Maybe l need to channel fiancé’s mentality of: not my circus, not my monkeys

Good grief. Who she dates is nothing to do with him.

@SituationCritical l say 10 years roughly? Could be less. I wasn’t on the scene back then

@ilovesooty lm not saying it’s his business. I’m still reeling from the work colleague who got married and had a baby. An ex contacted her to ask why this wasn’t discuss with him

But just a gentle FYI. People are going to lengths so he doesn’t know

I think people should stop pussyfooting around him then.

Way too dramatic.
‘Katrina’ is her own woman and can do as she pleases!

@NugsNotDrugs she very much is her own woman, that’s one of the reasons why l like her

@user1471457751

It's been 10 years. Richard needs to get over it.

This is exactly what I said to myself as I was reading! I think your fiance is right to stay out of it.

Ok the room reckons it’s tough titty. I had no intention of staging an intervention or “letting slip”. I literally said to my fiancé he needs to know and left it at that. That’s where it will be left!

Your partner sounds very sensible. It's 100% unnecessary to say anything.

Richard may be the nicest bloke in the world, but he doesn't deserve to know a fucking thing about Katrina's life. He needs to get a grip.

But then again l think dating people in the same friendship group is dodgy…

Over TEN YEARS? Maybe a few months.

My best friend is married to someone I snogged about a thousand years ago. I don't want him back thanks. Yuk.

Richard needs to move on and get a life.

Matthew should have talked to him about if he is actually friends with Richard though. But are they really friends? It's not really your fiancé's place to tell Richard, but intentionally hiding the truth from him isn't very nice.

@Wagamamasforlunch Richard and Matthew are friends of 20 odd years

Well they can't be that close if Richard doesn't know that Katrina has moved in. A lot of unnecessary drama that could be easily solved by Matthew just talking to his friend when he first started seeing Katrina.

Richard sounds like a bit of a potential stalker, but Matthew sounds like a shit friend.

Sorry OP but are you her because this weird tip toeing around a man who broke up with a woman TEN YEARS AGO but is apparently so fragile it would split the social group apart is absolutely insane. Is no one worried about the fact that in the last DECADE Richard hasn’t got over her?