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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this safe childminding practice?

76 replies

amoobaa · 18/12/2021 19:00

Wanting to know if I’m being over anxious...

I’ve just secured a place with a childminder for our son. He will be 12 months old.

The childminder seems great in all other ways. I’m just a bit concerned about nap arrangements as she doesn’t have a baby monitor.

She will have the babies all napping together (on their own sleeping mats) on the living room floor.

I’m fine with this, so long as they are observed, but she leaves them in the room unattended and goes downstairs without a baby monitor to observe them.

Is this safe? Whilst he cannot get out of the room (she will close the door) he could easily wake up and crawl around the room. I’m imagining him climbing on things or hitting his head on the hard furniture (TV unit and low tables). Or crawling over and waking/ poking other babies.

He’s got a really strong grip!! What if he hurt another child or another child hurt him? Or if he managed to climb onto the sofa and fall of it?

I’m not sure if I’m missing something or whether this is usual practice.

He’s only ever slept in a cot or travel cot, anything else seems risky without a baby monitor.

I can’t find any official guidelines...

She seems to think she will hear any noises but the floor is carpeted and she will be on a completely different floor of the house.

What if he gets into a tricky situation but is silent? It just seems so odd not to observe them. Or am I being paranoid?

Any opinions would be really appreciated.

I’m not sure her reasoning but I’d happily supply a baby monitor if that helped.

I’m actually quite worried about the 6 month old who my 12 month old will be napping next to. What if my son crawled over and started to try and play and ended up hurting her?

All thoughts welcome.

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 18/12/2021 19:37

is this uk.
what is her grading with ofsted ?

mayblossominapril · 18/12/2021 19:38

I’m quite lax and my children often nap on the floor or sofa but I’m either in the room or in the next room and can see through the glass in the doors. I’ve never had a baby monitor.
If I were the mother of the 6 month old I wouldn’t be happy. The others should be watched as well

Chickychoccyegg · 18/12/2021 19:42

I wouldn't be happy with that, a 6 month old is far too young, as is your 12 month old to sleep on floor mats unsupervised.
It would be ok if she was staying in the room supervising, although still not ok for the 6 month old in my opinion.

ShinyballsAndChocolateTinsel · 18/12/2021 19:45

No, I wouldn't be happy with that either

Tillsforthrills · 18/12/2021 19:50

I voted YABU because I thought she’d only leave momentarily?

She can’t rely on listening out for them with the door closed on mats!

MegsHollyJolly · 18/12/2021 19:52

Agree with others I wouldn't have been happy with this, if one of the older ones wakes first the 6 month old especially is at quite serious risk of accidental injury or as you say injure themselves by climbing etc. I didn't even leave my own toddler in the room with my sleeping baby even on the same floor.

Tanith · 18/12/2021 19:53

The children need to be within hearing and a baby monitor should be used for this. Sleeping children should be visually checked regularly, too. Ofsted would not be happy with the arrangement you describe.

I would query the sleep arrangements with her. It's possible that you may have misunderstood.

I would expect a baby monitor to be used unless she's in the room with them.
If she's following fire brigade recommendations, the window should be open and the door shut so, if she's using sleep mats, the window needs to be inaccessible.

JustLyra · 18/12/2021 19:53

The mats are absolutely fine, and in many ways safer than a cots as you can't fall from a floor mat.

When you say she'll leave them unsupervised for how long do you mean?

Our old CM left the children asleep with the door closed to go to the loo - that's fine.
Leaving them for long periods - not fine.

wildthingsinthenight · 18/12/2021 19:56

Ex nursery manager here.
Sleep mats on the floor are fine apart from for very little ones but leaving them unattended is not safe. You are right.

Billyliarohdear · 18/12/2021 20:02

My child would not be going there as I'd spend the entire time stressed and worrying.

Goodmum1234 · 18/12/2021 20:03

P35-36 of this guidance is minimum standard.
X

welshladywhois40 · 18/12/2021 20:08

When my son started nursery at 12 months he was in a cot and it was quite a while before he moved to a mat.

So no to being on a mat straight away and no to not having a monitor

RiskyCookie · 18/12/2021 20:10

I work in a nursery and whilst we have sleep mats. They are never ever left unsupervised. YANBU.

avocadotofu · 18/12/2021 20:18

The mats sound normal for 12 months and up but leaving them unattended is definitely not okay! Trust your gut on this one!!

MrsLangOnionsMcWeetabix · 18/12/2021 20:40

Absolutely not ok. My baby was badly bitten by another child when the CM left them alone to go to the toilet. She was required to change her practices so it couldn’t happen again.

yellowjellytot · 18/12/2021 20:57

Have you had a conversation with her about her reasons and how she knows if one of them has woken up? If you feel happy with everything else it might be worth asking more questions. She may be monitoring them some other way.
If not this would be breaking ofsted guidelines.
As a childminder I use a video monitor and travel cots until at least around 18 months - 2. It isn't always possible to stay in the room as not all children nap.

Notbluepeter · 18/12/2021 21:00

That's insane. Is the furniture securely screwed into the walls? Little ones love to climb.

Original poster
amoobaa · 19/12/2021 00:01

Thank you so much for all the replies.

I’m really hoping I’ve somehow misunderstood and I will definitely have another conversation with her to triple check everything.

I know it’s sounds ridiculous but I didn’t know if my stress/ anxiety was clouding my judgement. Our original childminder had to cancel our place last minute due to a current parent needing to change schedules and it clashing with ours... so finding someone has all become very last minute and stressful.

She definitely said they sleep on mats but I’m still finding it hard to imagine the 6 month old not being in a cot. I definitely wouldn’t be happy with that at 6 months.

I’m not sure about the window question... I’d need to visit again to see how accessible the windows are if she left them open.

She would definitely be downstairs during their nap, with the door closed and she would be on the floor below the sitting room. I remember this clearly as she said she uses this time to pray downstairs.

I’m wondering if that’s why she doesn’t want to have a monitor, in case it disturbs praying?

This is all so emotional as well as logistically difficult... He’s our first and this is all so new for me. I’m not looking forward to leaving him.

I can’t stop thinking about it. We obviously won’t leave him anywhere we’re not completely comfortable with. I’d sooner risk my job than leave him somewhere unsafe. But time is running out and she has the best setting we’ve visited by far. The stories I could tell about the other places!!

Yes, this is uk... London.

She seemed quite definite that she can hear every tiny noise but my son often wakes silently and manages to climb up to stand in his cot without me realising (and I’m pretty neurotic and carry the monitor around the house with me on full volume!)

I could be wrong so I will talk to her as suggested, but it seems she feels the risk of anything actually happening is so unlikely that she doesn’t need a monitor... perhaps it’s always been ok and nothing bad has happened so she has become fairly relaxed about it? Which is a bit like me saying my house has never burnt down so I see no need to have fire alarms.

Thank you so much for the links to various legal info/ policies/ guidance- I’ll read it now.

And thank you for all the feedback.

I’d be more than happy to provide a travel
Cot and a monitor- anything she needs.

I’ll read through all the info and speak to her again.

Thank you so much everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
amoobaa · 19/12/2021 00:13

Will also check about furniture being screwed to walls.

It’s just so odd because when I’ve visited she has been so incredibly safety conscious. Eg, he was playing with a toy whilst sitting on the floor (with me sat directly behind him, within reaching distance) he leant forwards and reached over a small wooden stacking cube thing, she told me to be careful and suggested moving it, in case he fell on it. I remember thinking it was great that she was so vigilant and aware. I thought it was highly unlikely he would have hurt himself even if he’d fallen on it... but I thought it was great that she was being over cautious rather than under cautious. So it makes no sense at all that she’d be perfectly happy to leave them completely unattended for their whole nap. There’s nothing to stop them clambering all over the place and interacting with each other unsupervised.

OP posts:
hookiewookie29 · 19/12/2021 00:17

Nope. Not ok.
Childminder here. The EYFS states that children should be within sight/ sound of the Childminder at all times. She needs a monitor or new sleeping arrangements.

Merryoldgoat · 19/12/2021 00:55

No. My CM used sofa for naps for my 12 month old and travel cot for the baby and stayed on the same floor.

Freddiefox · 19/12/2021 02:11

Eyfs statutory standard state:

You should be within sight or sound of the children at all times. She’s not, I bet she doesn’t do it in her inspection.

Is her tv free standing? How does she stop one waking up and sitting on another?

Rangoon · 19/12/2021 05:13

I have much laxer standards of childcare than many mumsnetters ie I couldn't care less about children in downstairs bedrooms. But even i would be concerned about this set up.

Rangoon · 19/12/2021 05:30

Incidentally both of my sons could run at 12 months (no, they didn't turn into great athletes). I shudder to think what they'd have got up to with this setup - not biting but they would climb anything.