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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off the gardener nosed around my house?

51 replies

MudSad · 17/12/2021 19:50

Aargh wrote a really long post and lost it so this is truncated

I've had the garden landscaped this week and they finished today. The landscaper has done lots of work for friends so I know he's really trustworthy. Because of this, I've not locked the back door if I've gone out (am WFH) and they're here.

We discussed earlier in the week that he realised this was the house his mum grew up in. So we spent some time talking about that and I said that I'd tried to preserve as many of the original features as I can.

They have been coming into the house all week to use the loo but there's a big extension across the back of the house where the loo is so no need to go into the rest of the house.

Anyway, today I went to do the school run which they know takes me about 30 mins and I've realised that he has wandered around the ground floor of my house (I can't tell if he's been upstairs) because I can see his footprints.

AIBU to be disappointed and pissed off? I would have let him look around if he'd asked. I would have been happy to.

I'm really annoyed. I'm so pleased with the work he's done but now I don't want to recommend him. And I don't want to say anything because it will make me sound like Miss Marple.

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 17/12/2021 20:14

I don't think he's done any harm. He was curious. Maybe he felt too awkward to ask. I doubt he would have looked around otherwise, so there's no need to mention it to him or anyone else. There's no harm done.

OneRuleForThem · 17/12/2021 20:23

No. Given his connection to the house I think he was right in doing it. I would have done the same if in the same situation.

WildNorthEast · 17/12/2021 20:26

He could have asked to have a look around. Doing it without your permission is very wrong and out of order.

Serenschintte · 17/12/2021 20:28

I don’t think that’s appropriate of him. It’s your house. Presumably his mum hasn’t lived in it for years. It’s your house and it’s an intrusion. I’d be upset.

Original poster
MudSad · 17/12/2021 20:29

I would have been so pleased to show him round if he'd asked! He's coming back on Monday to discuss a few final things so we could have done it then.

I just hate the thought of people wandering around my home when I'm not here. That's not weird is it? I also work in a really confidential sector so it's professionally compromising.

OP posts:
Original poster
MudSad · 17/12/2021 20:30

His mum moved out in 1968.

OP posts:
Lordamighty · 17/12/2021 20:35

Of course it’s not ok, I would be fuming. He had no right to go snooping round your house while you were out.

babouchette · 17/12/2021 20:37

Completely inappropriate! You don't just wander round someone else's house just because your mum lived there 50 years ago.

He undoubtedly took photos for her which is really creepy.

Lottle · 17/12/2021 20:56

I'd feel really upset by this. Surprised anyone would find this even remotely OK.

EverNapping · 17/12/2021 20:59

@OneRuleForThem

No. Given his connection to the house I think he was right in doing it. I would have done the same if in the same situation.
Right to secretly enter a stranger's house to have a look around?! Shock
Bellsandsnow · 17/12/2021 21:02

I'd be more annoyed that he left footprints!

Crazykatie · 17/12/2021 21:13

It’s out of order, personally I wouldn’t mention it but I would lock the door if I was out.

PainterMummy · 17/12/2021 21:17

It is most certainly my not ok and I’d ask him if any of his crew were walking around your house unattended, beyond the loo, as they’d left foot prints and it’s made you very uncomfortable to think people were walking around the rest if your home unattended.

BobbieT1999 · 17/12/2021 21:19

@OneRuleForThem

No. Given his connection to the house I think he was right in doing it. I would have done the same if in the same situation.
He had no right whatsoever!!
TokenGinger · 17/12/2021 21:22

@MudSad

I would have been so pleased to show him round if he'd asked! He's coming back on Monday to discuss a few final things so we could have done it then.

I just hate the thought of people wandering around my home when I'm not here. That's not weird is it? I also work in a really confidential sector so it's professionally compromising.

I wouldn't leave a house unlocked for 30 minutes if it would compromise my professionalism. They can wait 30 minutes. That one's on you. I'd never compromise my work.
Ijustreallywantacat · 17/12/2021 21:24

Beyond the footprints I don't really see the big deal to be honest. He was curious snd you can see why. I mean he hasn't nicked anything. Hes done a good job for you. No harm done.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 17/12/2021 21:24

Absolutely not okay! I would definitely complain to him as I can’t see any situation in which it is okay for a gardener to enter a clients house and walk around uninvited.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 17/12/2021 21:44

He probably thought you'd be ok with him having a quick look seeing as he is allowed in to use the toilet. Personally I can't see the big deal.

Newduvet · 17/12/2021 21:45

Wouldn’t bother me.

Itsalmostanaccessory · 17/12/2021 21:47

I know I'd have totally done the same so, for that reason, I wouldn't mind. But I get why it would annoy people because it isnt ok! But yeah... I'd have had a quick nosey too.

allypally20 · 17/12/2021 21:47

Honestly, I'd let it go. If it was me, given a chance to have a quick look round a house that was important to me and my family, I'd do it. Maybe he was too shy to ask.

StoneofDestiny · 17/12/2021 21:47

Out of order, lack of trust, but I'm not sure what you can do about it now (except check nothing is missing)

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 17/12/2021 21:48

why wouldn't you offer? If, as you claim you would have been so happy to have shown him round IF he asked?

Bizarre power game on your half.

woodhill · 17/12/2021 21:48

@Bellsandsnow

I'd be more annoyed that he left footprints!
Ditto
Warmduscher · 17/12/2021 21:48

Of course there’s no physical harm done, but it’s the fact he didn’t ask, when he could so easily have done. It’s very underhand to wait until someone is out and do it behind their back. I would mind about that much more than any sense of intrusion and I would consider him untrustworthy.