Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Secret Santa budgets are a con

64 replies

TheLasrStraw · 17/12/2021 16:15

Y8 DD said class Secret Santa guideline was £7, so we bought a nice Harry Potter branded thing.

DD received a box of Heroes which retail for £3 in Tesco.

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 17/12/2021 16:16

It’s not a ‘con’ as nobody reliably benefits.

However these things are only ever as good as the shittiest person playing.

GiltEdges · 17/12/2021 16:18

Well I suppose it depends how you look at it... the child who got your DDs gift might hate Harry Potter but love chocolate 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you feel short changed because you happened to spend more, you'll learn the lesson for next year.

Lou98 · 17/12/2021 16:20

I wouldn't say it's a 'con'

Usually the £7 would be a maximum spend. Maybe £3 was all the other child's parent could afford to spare.

I personally hate Harry Potter so would much prefer a box of chocolate - it's all relative. It's only a bit of fun

CouncilHousedAndViolentBaby · 17/12/2021 16:22

Ah it's all fun and games

girlmom21 · 17/12/2021 16:24

£7 is the upper limit. Not everyone can afford that.

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 17/12/2021 16:24

£7 is quite a budget for a kid
maybe that's all they could stretch to and didn't want to be left out?

My YR10 DC was involved in organising theirs this year, and while lots of the class were proposing a £15 budget a couple of kids said that they could only join in if it was a fiver, so it was negotiated back down to a £5-10 range.

Mymycherrypie · 17/12/2021 16:25

I get £20 spent on me from the entirety of my DH’s family. That’s 10 people.

I spent over that in return as I feel like £2 each person is a bit lame. Always get a gift back that’s well under £20 or late so they could get me something in the sale and pocket the other half.

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 17/12/2021 16:27

Secret Santa’s are a bit shit in general, but maybe that’s all they could afford. At least it’s not just tat cluttering up your home and something you can actually use (or eat!)

ChristmasRobins · 17/12/2021 16:28

£7 is the limit, not what you have to spend. Plenty
Of people can’t rustle up a spare £7 in the week before Christmas.

NoSquirrels · 17/12/2021 16:31

For all anyone knows, you got the Harry Potter mug in a sale and it only cost £3.

A box of chocolates for a Yr7 secret santa gift is great to receive, surely?

I think it creates an ungrateful attitude if you’re constantly totting up equal spends.

Does your DC like and eat chocolate? Then jobs a good un.

DrSbaitso · 17/12/2021 16:40

You can't get too invested in these things.

SlashBeef · 17/12/2021 16:43

I think if you're going to participate in secret Santa's you need to go in with low expectations.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 17/12/2021 16:47

£7 is a lot for school secret Santa! Our work limit was £10. Most people try to spend roughly that amount.

I hope you know that the child in question likes Harry Potter!

LittleGwyneth · 17/12/2021 16:49

I guess if it's a compulsory thing / would be very hard for a child with low income parents to opt out of, then really what's the alternative? It might well be that someone hard up thought that was a reasonable present. And the price does vary, so they might have paid closer to £7 than you'd think.

Settingsss · 17/12/2021 16:50

You will always get people who will try it on but that’s life. If everyone agrees to the £7 spend then that should be what’s spent.
I have never known it to be a ‘limit’ I must say.

Bebedoogoogle · 17/12/2021 16:52

YABU

Do you know how hard life is right now for a lot of families? £7 is a lot of money!

Just be thankful you can afford £7.

SisterAgatha · 17/12/2021 16:53

I get £20 spent on me from the entirety of my DH’s family. That’s 10 people.

I agree that is low if it’s split between 10 people. I would stop spending the £20 budget if it was consistently under every year.

As for £3, I think £7 is high for school secret Santa. Esp if there are siblings being made to do it too.

RodJaneFreddy · 17/12/2021 16:53

Mine set at £5 but I absolutely hate the person I picked so I have them 2 unwanted gifts I’d received a few years ago. I have zero shame

BurntO · 17/12/2021 16:54

They’re only in year 8. A tub of chocolates sounds great. Don’t participate next time

grapewine · 17/12/2021 16:56

A con? Have a word with yourself.

The budget is up to £7. Not everyone can afford that for some silliness at school.

EllaVaNight · 17/12/2021 17:00

Just think yourself lucky that you can afford seven pounds. Many people can't. You must be really out of touch with what the reality is for many people this time of year, especially when many people have lost their jobs and everything has gone up in price.

MeltedWax · 17/12/2021 17:01

Secret Santa always brings out the mean ungrateful people. I think a box of chocolates is a nice present, we are talking about a 12yo here.

woodhill · 17/12/2021 17:04

I always spend the amount specified otherwise it is unfair imo

woodhill · 17/12/2021 17:05

I think £7 is too much for dc

LampLighter414 · 17/12/2021 17:06

So a teacher has enforced a class-wide secret santa everyone has to take part in?

Why? I just don't get it. Friendship groups can do it amongst themselves if they wish.