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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send DD to nursery on Christmas Eve?

201 replies

Iwantquavers · 17/12/2021 09:21

DD was a year old end of November and she goes to nursery FT. I’m a teacher and because of us being away on holiday for half term and for the first week of January, we haven’t actually had any time where she’s been in nursery and I’m off work - in other words, I’ve either been at work or had DD with me since starting in September.

This year we finish on the 23rd December. We get paid on the 25th, this year that’s a Saturday and Christmas Day anyway, so will be paid on the 24th. I really need to do some last minute shopping and it would be much faster and less stressful to do it without DD. I’m also genuinely wondering if she might prefer to be in nursery than in her pushchair going round the shops.

But I’m worried she’ll be the only baby there and the staff might prefer to be with their own families. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 10:08

@MrsSkylerWhite

Apparently it’s ‘sanctimonious’ to want that and to have a personal opinion on how you do things in your family.

Original poster
Iwantquavers · 17/12/2021 10:09

I can’t shop online as am not paid until the 24th - it’s the only day I have!

I think I’ll send her and pick her up at 12.

OP posts:
Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 10:10

@thingymaboob

Sorry you’ve misinterpreted my comment which seems to be touching a lot of nerves unfortunately.

What is precious to me is Xmas Eve with my children. I didn’t say it’s because my DC are precious to me.

Stop twisting the meaning, anyone who wants a break is entitled to it if their nursery is open.

toobusytothink · 17/12/2021 10:10

Christmas Eve is a normal working day so go for it guilt free and enjoy

Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 10:11

@Iwantquavers

Sorry about that and of course do what’s right for you. You might feel more refreshed and be rested with your DC if you’re free to get everything done in the morning. Hope you have a lovely time

thingymaboob · 17/12/2021 10:11

[quote Tillsforthrills]@MrsSkylerWhite

Apparently it’s ‘sanctimonious’ to want that and to have a personal opinion on how you do things in your family.[/quote]
Your posts are sanctimonious. There is a way of saying your opinion without the "they're previous to me" rhetoric like other mothers who want to use childcare to free up time to do something else don't find their DC precious.

Tillsforthrills · 17/12/2021 10:13

@thingymaboob

I really don’t understand what you mean or why this has offended you so much, apologies.

Parusmajor · 17/12/2021 10:13

My child has just turned one and in all honesty, I wouldn't do it. But I am often surprised by responses on here (whatever the topic) so I am aware I may be a lot less pragmatic in my thinking on this than others!
I like the supportive comments about you having some much needed time to yourself, if you think you will benefit and your daughter will be happier at nursery than shopping then go for it!
My reasons for not doing it would be that I loved Christmas Eve as a child (still do) and am now excited to spend it with mine. He loves shopping and being out and about seeing people/lights/shops but if I needed to focus it would be easier without him I admit. I also don't work anymore so can imagine how needed the time will be for you.

TulipsGarden · 17/12/2021 10:14

If they're open and you're paying then by all means send her in! She doesn't know it's Christmas Eve anyway, and I'm sure other people will be working and send their kids in.

Christmas Eve falls on the day mine doesn't go to nursery this year, but any other year he would be there while I had some much needed time to finish sorting Christmas stuff. I'm off the 22nd and 23rd this year and he's going to nursery... can't wait!

Original poster
Iwantquavers · 17/12/2021 10:16

The problem is, DD doesn’t know it’s Christmas Eve and so I genuinely am not sure how we’d spend it. I don’t think it would be a making memories sort of thing - a hot and stressful rush round the shops, then trying to keep her out of the dining room at home, is not the sort of thing I want! It would be different if she was a bit older and could watch Christmas films and so on.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 17/12/2021 10:16

thingymaboob

Tillsforthrills
@MrsSkylerWhite

Apparently it’s ‘sanctimonious’ to want that and to have a personal opinion on how you do things in your family.

Your posts are sanctimonious. There is a way of saying your opinion without the "they're previous to me" rhetoric like other mothers who want to use childcare to free up time to do something else don't find their DC precious“

Sorry, I’m lost now.

How was I sanctimonious? OP asked for opinions? I gave mine but said it’s obviously personal choice and suggested possible alternatives if she’s torn (which I read it as her being).

I think the midday suggestion is a good compromise.

Bunnycat101 · 17/12/2021 10:17

I’ve used it in the past on Xmas eve for a few hours when I’ve been really behind. I’m still debating it this year as need to do Christmas food collection and that will be considerably easier if I don’t need to take small people along.

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/12/2021 10:17

Nurseries always send a message saying please let us know if you are sending your child in on Xmas eve because our staff would love to have the time off with their families.
If the owners really cared about the staff having time with their families they would allow parents who kept their children off on Xmas Eve to pay no fee. But what they do instead is guilt trip the parents while aiming to come across as benevolent to the staff.
Yanbu op.

Girlonit · 17/12/2021 10:21

Honestly, no I wouldn’t. If both me and Dp were working Christmas Eve and we had no one else to look after them they would have to. This year we’re both off, but if we weren’t I know my mum would have had them as she breaks up today.
That’s just my opinion though and my nursery asked us a few weeks ago if we needed childcare so they could organise staffing, they’re also closing early so maybe check with your nursery how many children will be in and what time they’re going.

RichTeaRichTea · 17/12/2021 10:25

My children are termtime only but if they weren’t I don’t think I would send them in. However, I wouldn’t think anything of anyone else sending them in for whatever reason. I think collecting at lunchtime is a good idea.

AnnaSW1 · 17/12/2021 10:26

I always asked them how many kids would be there on Xmas eve. Each year there were 5 or 6. They closed at lunchtime anyway. Perhaps put her in for half a day only?

Thesechipsdontlie · 17/12/2021 10:27

Just to say op, maybe your DD wants a quick play at nursery, and a chilled and smiley mummy at pick up Smile

I am only saying I know I'm not in cheerful festive mode when I have small people in tow and a long to-do list. But when I've got things done, and they've burnt off some steam, then I'm less Grinch and a bit more Christmas elf.

There's SO much crazy pressure as they get older and understand Christmas, but basically, she is a wee baby still, and she isn't going to mind at all having a peaceful morning while you rush round the shops.

Dollywilde · 17/12/2021 10:28

Not quite the same thing, but we're sending DD in for one day in the break between Christmas Day and NYE. She loves nursery so we've picked the day when the most kids are due to be in. If she doesn't go in it'll be nearly 2 weeks away which I think would be quite weird for her (she's 16 months and goes 4 days, and is so attached to her key person). Plus, I'm not going to lie, DH and I are shattered and the idea of a day childfree sounds absolutely idyllic - it'll be our first since she started at nursery 4 months ago.

So I vote do it, if only to make me feel better Grin

boymum88 · 17/12/2021 10:30

I would send my dc in, it's a service you have paid for, so would be using it, I'm also sure the staff would be doing nice fun things with the children. She is still young and doesn't know what day it is. Take the day to yourself get all the stuff you need to do done and have a hr or so just to your self, sit have a coffee what Eva takes ur fancy. Shouldn't be made to feel guilty for needing or even wanting a couple of hrs by yourself

Rainartist · 17/12/2021 10:30

If it's open, send her in!
Even if she is the only one there that doesn't matter, she'll be doted on by the staff and you won't be holding back staff from their family as they would be rotas there and probably have to stay anyway to other jobs that need doing.

You'll get everything done much quicker and maybe have time for a little treat for you tooBrewCake. Enjoy Smile

Girlonit · 17/12/2021 10:30

Is your Dd not at nursery term time only? My children’s nursery has that option and all the teachers I know use it. So they don’t pay or attend in the school holidays. I do find the comment that you’ve either been at work or with your Dd odd though, as I always keep my children off if I’m on annual leave. I do think young children need a break from childcare too and not only if they’re going away on holiday though. I find it odd when parents are off work but they still take them in because the children enjoy it, like can’t you do something at home that they’ll also enjoy?

That’s just my opinion though and I’m fortunate that Dp is very hands on and we have family close by so I don’t need them in nursery to get time to do things for myself.

Groovee · 17/12/2021 10:32

When I worked in private nursery we used to have a lot of children in on Christmas Eve in the morning to get the shopping done then pick them up. We only had a few children who had parents who were NHS who would be in in the afternoon so we have a chilled afternoon.

Girlonit · 17/12/2021 10:34

If it's open, send her in!
Even if she is the only one there that doesn't matter, she'll be doted on by the staff and you won't be holding back staff from their family as they would be rotas there and probably have to stay anyway to other jobs that need doing.

I’m not sure this is true? My children’s nursery the staff can go when the last child does. Also the less children going in the more staff they allow off. I’d probably ask nursery what time they’re expecting to close. My friends children’s nursery is closing at 1, mine said 4 at the latest when we got the letter, but as I don’t need it I’m not sure if that’s still the case.

modgepodge · 17/12/2021 10:36

@Girlonit

Is your Dd not at nursery term time only? My children’s nursery has that option and all the teachers I know use it. So they don’t pay or attend in the school holidays. I do find the comment that you’ve either been at work or with your Dd odd though, as I always keep my children off if I’m on annual leave. I do think young children need a break from childcare too and not only if they’re going away on holiday though. I find it odd when parents are off work but they still take them in because the children enjoy it, like can’t you do something at home that they’ll also enjoy?

That’s just my opinion though and I’m fortunate that Dp is very hands on and we have family close by so I don’t need them in nursery to get time to do things for myself.

Lots of nurseries don’t offer this option, particularly for under 3s. When I looked none of the ones which opened early enough (teachers need to be in before 9am so 8.30 drop offs don’t work if you have to commute) offered term time only, except a preschool 9-3 option for 3+. My daughter goes to a childminder for this reason. The teachers I know who use nurseries pay year round, and most do a mix of sending them in for some ‘me time’ and keeping them home.
Doubleglouceater · 17/12/2021 10:39

We have had to pay for a place on 23rd as part of our contract but as I’m not working, not sending in due to covid risk as seeing parents for Christmas.

Covid aside, I would probably send in for a little while, get the boring stuff done and then have fun together!