I have to cancel don’t I?

[Christening]

My toddlers Christening is arranged for first week in January. It has already been cancelled twice before. We have a service, then a reception for 50 planned. People will be coming from all over the country. Some of them are vulnerable.

YANBU: of course you have to cancel
YABU: don’t cancel it will be fine

I feel for you. It's my 50th birthday tomorrow but I have a party booked for 8th Jan (on the basis that everyone is so busy before Christmas and it was something to look forward to in the new year). The balance needs to be paid next week. If further restrictions come in then it obviously won't go ahead but if not I think I am just going to crack on but will completely understand if some people don't feel comfortable coming. At the moment a lot of people are cancelling plans as they understandably don't want their Christmas plans disrupted by isolating or being ill but in January judging by the figures currently most of us will have already had omicron! It's a difficult one...

We have decided to go ahead with a scaled down ceremony and cancel the reception. Only Godparents and Grandparents. Thanks for all your views they have been very helpful.

As for £700 being expensive. It was the cheapest I could find. £100 Room
Hire and £12 per head for buffet. That is very competitive for this area. We paid a lot more for my eldest’s Christening. I don’t want to derail my own thread but how much do you pay per head for a buffet in your area? Genuinely interested.

I don’t want to derail my own thread but how much do you pay per head for a buffet in your area? Genuinely interested.

I think most people don't push the boat out to this extent for a christening TBH. We just had about 15 people back to the house for a few sandwiches and cake.

@Christening

We have decided to go ahead with a scaled down ceremony and cancel the reception. Only Godparents and Grandparents. Thanks for all your views they have been very helpful.

As for £700 being expensive. It was the cheapest I could find. £100 Room
Hire and £12 per head for buffet. That is very competitive for this area. We paid a lot more for my eldest’s Christening. I don’t want to derail my own thread but how much do you pay per head for a buffet in your area? Genuinely interested.

Why would you need a buffet for a Christening? It's not a big important event like a wedding. Many people go back home and have a few people around for coffee, or a bbq/sandwiches at home.

Why do you even need 50 people? Why do you even need a buffet? It's extremely extravagant for something that isn't even really that important.

@ClaudiaJ1 wow that's a bit unfair! I've been to christenings with buffets, and would definitely consider them an important event...each to their own

Why do you even need 50 people? Why do you even need a buffet? It's extremely extravagant for something that isn't even really that important.

Well why bother doing anything in life if that's the attitude you have.

Why do some people love to come on here and piss on other peoples chips just to feel superior? It really has the opposite effect to what you are hoping for btw- you just look miserable and unpleasant.

@ClaudiaJ1 presumably because she wants to? And while it may not be that important to you, some people do have strong faith and consider it important. OP isn't asking you to pay, so why do you care?

Oh, and @ClaudiaJ1, Weddings aren't really that important either. The marriage, maybe. But the wedding party isn't that important, if you use your attitude towards it.

@ClaudiaJ1 a Christening is a very important event in our lives. Just because a religious ceremony means nothing to you does not mean others feel the same.

Cancel, you don't need a party but could have tea and cake somewhere You can still have the ceremony with 5-10 nearest and dearest

I think you've made the right decision. The party would be nice, but isn't necessary, and you obviously place importance on the sacrament.

Defo the right decision to scale back or cancel. The religious side is important but not important enough to risk peoples health over.

I’m in Scotland and we are being told to stay in as much as possible and scale back events or cancel if we want to see people at Christmas, in an attempt to slow the spread, and after Christmas. It’s only a matter of time before other parts of the U.K. get told that too. If they haven’t already been.

I’d be asking all attendees to lateral flow test first. Although we know they aren’t as accurate, it’s all we have.

Can you have a christening party instead once all the covid times are over? I know many brides are planning that as they’ve missed out on the party side of their big day. Why shouldn’t you have that too for your little one. It will be great when we can do such things again. I can’t wait til we can enjoy the freedoms we took for granted again.

I'd hold off for now if you can (and if you want to - you may be less stressed if you just cancel). I wouldn't go to a party this week because I don't want to risk isolating over Christmas, but I'd go in January.

Unfortunately I suspect we'll be locked down again in Jan, but if you're happy to wait and see I wouldn't cancel just yet.

I wouldn’t cancel, assuming that an event like that is still permitted in January. I would make it clear to everyone attending that whilst you’d love to see them you completely understand if they decide not to attend. That way they have an “out”.

@ClaudiaJ1

Why would you need a buffet for a Christening? It's not a big important event like a wedding. Many people go back home and have a few people around for coffee, or a bbq/sandwiches at home.

Why do you even need 50 people? Why do you even need a buffet? It's extremely extravagant for something that isn't even really that important.

I'm guessing OP has invited 50 people because they are her family and friends and she would like them there? 50 isn't really that many people, say 12 people from each side of the family, that's 24, 26 plus the actual parents, and then 12 friends and their partners make it 50.

Celebrating a new baby is pretty important, especially after the last shitty two years. She didn't say she needs a buffet, she wants a buffet and can afford it, so what's the problem? There's nothing wrong with doing it yourself at home either, but most people would struggle to fit 50 people in their house, it's hassle buying and preparing it yourself, and a BBQ isn't really an option in January. A £12 a head buffet isn't "extremely extravagant", it's standard, same sort of pricing for a buffet for a big birthday party etc. I can imagine you would have had kittens at the last christening I went to: a 3 course sit down meal and a glass of prosecco! For 80 people! I thought it was a bit OTT but the parents had had a shitty time with their baby being born premature and in hospital for the first few weeks of his life, they wanted to celebrate and can afford it, good for them. And good for hospitality industry.

The point of a Christening/Baptism is to fulfil a requirement of faith, it's a rite that is of religious significance, not a party with a quick wash of the face thrown in.

If you just want a party, cancel and hold a party for the child's next birthday. But if you do have faith, the baptism needs to go ahead whether 100 of your closest relatives attend armed with gifts or not. And if the splosh of water isn't the point of doing it - well, you shouldn't be doing it.

Why would you need a buffet for a Christening?Many people go back home and have a few people around for coffee, or a bbq/sandwiches at home. having a gathering after the event isn't that rare. Even if I didn't want to see everyone, I'd struggle to fit me, DH, 3 kids, two sets of parents, GP and our siblings in my living room.

It's not a big important event like a wedding. what makes a WEDDING more important than a christening?

Why do you even need 50 people? contrary to mn's "no one cares about your kids" there are actually lots of people who do love / care about them and would want to celebrate them.

...for something that isn't even really that important. I'm assuming you aren't religious then?

@NeverDropYourMooncup

Meh. I grew up religious and used to think the same. Now I just think it's a nice excuse to have a party. The face wash is just a formality for most people, but you could argue the same about most church weddings. Everyone likes a party. Well not everyone, but most people . And lots of churches need the income from none religious people paying to use the church for their wedding or christening.

[quote Wagamamasforlunch]@NeverDropYourMooncup

Meh. I grew up religious and used to think the same. Now I just think it's a nice excuse to have a party. The face wash is just a formality for most people, but you could argue the same about most church weddings. Everyone likes a party. Well not everyone, but most people . And lots of churches need the income from none religious people paying to use the church for their wedding or christening.[/quote]
I'm not religious, but think that way - why go through something that is so important to so many people because they believe it is bringing their child into a spiritual 'safety' when it's easier to just have a party? TBH, I think the reason for doing the religious thing is precisely because they know it's important to others so they're more likely to get gifts that way. Using their hypocrisy to capitalise upon other people's beliefs.

If you don't cancel I reckon people will cancel on you closer to the time. We have just had to reschedule an international trip for the 3rd time because of all of this. There is a high probability it will not go ahead. I wouldn't lose money over it tbh.

You've done exactly the right thing.

@Wagamamasforlunch the church does not charge for a Christening. You pay an optional £15 if you want a Baptism certificate. It is not a moneyspinner for the church.

@NeverDropYourMooncup are you suggesting that we were planning to spend £700 in order to get gifts? For my eldest’s Christening we received some books and an engraved cutlery set. Hardly a profit making exercise.

I am genuinely surprised at the open hostility towards Christianity on this thread. It is very important to me to have my baby welcomed into the church. This is my faith and my belief. Are these posters as openly hostile to all religions or do they have a specific contempt for Christianity?

We had our DS christened last Saturday and faced the same concerns. We decided to go ahead but asked everyone to test in the morning before they came, we also let everyone know that if they weren’t comfortable to attend then that would be absolutely fine. Everyone wore masks at the church and then I made sure the venue afterwards was well ventilated, loads of hand gel, disposable paper towels etc etc We had 60 people in the end, all jabbed (over 12s) and most boostered. If you’re comfortable with some people dropping out and can make sure you have good ventilation etc then I would go ahead.

@Christening Sadly, most mumsnetters are extremely intolerant of any kind of religion and are insultingly rude about people who have a faith, especially Christians because they are an easy target.

I hope the christening goes ahead and that you can have a party when things get easier.

At the moment we can go ahead with baptisms, whether hospitality can accommodate you is another matter