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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I have to cancel don’t I?

82 replies

Christening · 17/12/2021 08:08

My toddlers Christening is arranged for first week in January. It has already been cancelled twice before. We have a service, then a reception for 50 planned. People will be coming from all over the country. Some of them are vulnerable.

YANBU: of course you have to cancel
YABU: don’t cancel it will be fine

OP posts:
Wagamamasforlunch · 17/12/2021 09:36

I'd reschedule now. Covid aside, people are knackered the first week of January. I would predict that a lot of people will cancel because of genuine concerns about covid, or use it as a convenient excuse to not attend and have a Sunday lie in instead.

Elfonthesofa · 17/12/2021 09:38

I'd crack on with the Christening ceremony but cancel the £700 party.

ginslinger · 17/12/2021 09:38

I would go ahead with the baptism if the churches are open but leave the lunch for another time. The important bit for Christians is the actual baptism, isn't it?

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2021 09:39

Don't cancel. Do be understanding when people don't come.

thepeopleversuswork · 17/12/2021 09:40

I would cancel, tbh. It's really unfair and awful but I think a lot of people won't attend and you will be left with a signficantly downgraded event which will make you feel deflated.

Postpone it to a time when people have more confidence.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/12/2021 09:40

[quote Christening]@Tee20x I have to pay per head for the reception and the money is due on Monday. It is £700. I really don’t want to throw money away if people are not going to come.[/quote]
Crikey, what are you doing for that money?

Cancel THAT and host a smaller do somehwere else.

ColettesEarrings · 17/12/2021 09:43

Cancel the party and go ahead wirh the religious ceremony. After all, that's the bit that actually matters presumably ...

Fatgalslim · 17/12/2021 09:58

Sorry but £700 for a christening party is ridiculous!

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 17/12/2021 10:07

I would bet that by January, a lot of people will be in self isolation. You may pay for everyone and only a few turn up- its a gamble!

Hemingwayscatz · 17/12/2021 10:08

I wouldn’t cancel personally. I think the media is blowing things up.

LumosSolem · 17/12/2021 10:10

@Fatgalslim

Sorry but £700 for a christening party is ridiculous!
Up to the OP how she spends her money- it doesn't sound ridiculous to me.

But don't miss an opportunity to be snide, eh.

girlmom21 · 17/12/2021 10:11

@picklemewalnuts

I wouldn't cancel, and I'm a 'quick, cancel' person generally!

IMO it's awful that so much unimportant random socialising is going ahead while important life events get cancelled.

Ask your guests to do LFTs that morning.
Make sure ventilation is good, but that comfort is attended to- hot drinks, hot packs available for anyone who's struggling if the church is cold, for example. Keep some parts brief, but maximise the opportunity for people to see each other and your DC.

We should let the random nights out stop, but keep the special occasions!

A night out with friends I haven't seen in a while is much more important to me than a christening. You don't get to decide what's an important life event.
girlmom21 · 17/12/2021 10:12

[quote Christening]@Tee20x I have to pay per head for the reception and the money is due on Monday. It is £700. I really don’t want to throw money away if people are not going to come.[/quote]
Carry on with the service and cancel the party.

EastEndQueen · 17/12/2021 10:14

I wouldn’t cancel the christening outright but I would contact attendees and say ‘totally understand if you would prefer to stay away for health concerns but please could you let me know now’. Should give you an idea of numbers and then allow for maybe 10% more drop out on the day.

I would absolutely not part with £700 now. Tell the venue that your numbers will uncertain until 7 days before and you will confirm and pay for final numbers the by the 28th Dec. You could pay maybe £200
now to show willing. They are 100% not going to get another booking in the current circumstances so I would call their bluff if they say they need final numbers and money now. Even for my wedding the hotel only needed final numbers 5 days before - and that was a big sit down meal not a buffet or whatever. On the subject of buffets be prepared that you may need to move the catering to a table service model

Squeezita · 17/12/2021 10:14

@Hemingwayscatz

I wouldn’t cancel personally. I think the media is blowing things up.
It's not your money potentially getting wasted though is it?
xxxGirlCrushxxx · 17/12/2021 10:21

I'd cancel the whole thing

Save yourself not only h the e money but all the worry and uncertainty

LakeShoreD · 17/12/2021 10:22

Surely it’s not the £700 after party or nothing?
I’d personally go ahead with the baptism but arrange something for afterwards that’s a bit more flexible so it can be scaled up or down closer to the time.

Qwertykeys · 17/12/2021 10:39

Can you call round the guests see who’s still willing to come , providing they don’t catch covid between now and then

Squeezita · 17/12/2021 10:40

@Qwertykeys

Can you call round the guests see who’s still willing to come , providing they don’t catch covid between now and then
They'll just say they're coming and then not show up.
zafferana · 17/12/2021 10:47

I think I'd postpone, if I were you. The 'experts' are predicting that Omicron is going to peak fast and hard and the first week of Jan has got to be right at that time, surely? I wouldn't want to be paying out £700 for food when you have no idea who will want to or be able to come. In the past 48 hours I've heard of masses of people who've tested +ve (I live in the SE, so Covid central around here) and I reckon the next month is going to be torrid.

ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 10:51

700 is a lot for a Christening! Sorry to be harsh but what an absolute waste of money, imo. It's throwing money away. You could use that 700 as a savings bond for the baby, that would be more worthwhile. I didn't know many people really do Christenings anymore these days. Are you religious? If not then, is it really necessary at all? If you really want a Christening why not just invite Godfather/Godmother only; just you, your partner, baby, and the godparents. That's all you really need. You don't need anyone else.

Wagamamasforlunch · 17/12/2021 11:21

£700 seems pretty reasonable for a reception of 50 people. £14 a head. I've been to a few christenings which had a sit down meal rather than a buffet. You can't have 50 people without catering some food and drink for them, and OP didn't ask for opinions on how much it was costing her Hmm.

5keletor · 17/12/2021 11:24

I would cancel, but it's your call. If you go go ahead, it would probably be sensible to prepare for at least a few cancellations. I think the idea of downsizing, that a few people have mentioned, is a good idea.

ClaudiaJ1 · 17/12/2021 11:30

All the Christenings I've known didn't have a 'reception', it was maybe a bbq at home or get together for coffee at home afterwards. I've never heard of a reception for a christening. Seems overblown to me. It's not a wedding.

RampantIvy · 17/12/2021 11:31

£700 is a lot of money for a christening party. I agree with most posters that if the christening itself is important to you then go ahead with it and have the party another time.

I wouldn't be surprised if hospitality has to temporarily close after Christmas TBH.