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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...for not looking forward to Christmas because...

44 replies

SquirdleSomeCreamOnMyXmasPud · 19/12/2007 13:08

...DH has just informed our very fussy 5 year old that he will be eating everything we are on Chrismas day and he will be enjoying it!

We are going to his mums and I am feeling so much pressure now because of this. I think DS should eat what he feels he can ie potatoes and basically be left to ge on with it. If he doesn't eat he doesn't.

But I have visions of DH piling on the pressure, DS getting upset, DH shouting, me seething and relatives feeling uncomfortable. DH is always comparing DS to his nephews who do eat well and who will be there. I know his mum would rather we just left DS to it and didn't cause a fuss.

Yes, I'd love DS to eat a good meal, ut it aint gonna happen just because it's Christmas!!!

AAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

OP posts:
AMerryScot · 19/12/2007 13:10

He might rise to the occasion! I've found that children generally love roast dinners, and as long as you let them choose what goes on their plates, they will probably do very well.

TooTickyDoves · 19/12/2007 13:10

Will DH also be eating everything? Can you arrange for some food he really hates to be there?

dooley1 · 19/12/2007 13:11

crumbs it's Christmas.... your dh sounds very mean!

soapbox · 19/12/2007 13:12

Why don't you just tell DH to fuck off - if you hear one word from him on Christmas day on this matter, then you will take the children and leave his mums immediately.

Honestly, why would you put up with it?

SelfishMrsClaus · 19/12/2007 13:13

If it were me (and it's not) I would have a wuiet word in dh's ear about relaxing his stupid laws!!

Is his family strict re: kids eating veg etc.. I would hate food issues at C'mas

Blu · 19/12/2007 13:14

Make sure your DS is sitting next to you and that DH is miles away and has had a mellowing amount of alcohol.

Your DH's behaviour is of course highly counter-productive in both getting DS to want to eat and in having a happy dinner. Show him this thread!

ComeOVenReadyturkey · 19/12/2007 13:14

I really don't think christmas day is the right time to be pushing at eating issues, poor ds.

I am doing a seperate table for the children and they can eat as much/little as they want then get down and play with all there new toys, rather than stuck for hours with the adults. Also it then means the adults can enjoy a leisurely meal without the children

SelfishMrsClaus · 19/12/2007 13:14

wuiet = Irish speak for quiet

Blu · 19/12/2007 13:15

Yes, on second thoughts, tell him to fuck off. a la Soapbox.

dustystaronthechristmastreeMSC · 19/12/2007 13:16

That seems very harsh for xmas dinner.

lennygirl · 19/12/2007 13:16

Message withdrawn

AMerryScot · 19/12/2007 13:17

Just put DH on Mumsnet and we will set him straight.

If you think about it, even one of everything from a Christmas table is going to be too much for a five year old. It's much better to let him choose for himself. You can probably coax him into a slice of turkey, and then a selection of veggies of his own choosing.

layercake · 19/12/2007 13:18

Soapbox- you are spot on

coldtits · 19/12/2007 13:19

I'm wityh Soapbox. Inform him in no uncertain terms that if he is a twat you will take your kid(s) and leave, to have fun without him

soapbox · 19/12/2007 13:20

No, NO, NO!!!!!!

I really do disagree with the majority of posters here. Do not humour him in any way. shape or form.

Why do people feel the need to appease blatantly unreasonable behaviour? Why don't you just tell them to stop it? I don't get it!

Lauriefairycake · 19/12/2007 13:20

I think your approach is right and there should be no pressure.

If he ain't convinced ask him if he'd like me to post a picture of my 19 stone sister who only eats pizza, who was shouted at constantly at the table til she cried, who is violently sick at the sight of a roast dinner with gravy, who craves chocolate constantly, who gets up in the middle of the night to 'sneak' food......

When she lives on her own and is 30 years old.

I think making children frightened of food is one of the worst things you can do to children and has very long term consequences

soapbox · 19/12/2007 13:20

Oh crossed posts with people agreeing with me - I'll crawl off again now

dooley1 · 19/12/2007 13:22

mot kids are full of chocoalte and excitemnt by the time Xmas dinner comes along so hardly eat anythign anyway

Original poster
SquirdleSomeCreamOnMyXmasPud · 19/12/2007 13:22

I agree with each and every one of you!! I will be having a quiet (or wuiet ) word with DH, I will be sat next to DS and I will tell DH I will be leaving his mums house if he does cause a fuss.

And I will squirt marmite all over DH's dinner!!

I will tell him that it will spoil lunch for everyone else if he causes a scene.

I do expect DS to sit up to the table until all of the children have finished but then I and I think everyone else has no problem with them getting down to play.

He is in a sulk now because I got cross at lunch time today due to him using chocolate as a bribe to eat lunch. Amazingly DS2 (Mr Fussy) ate all of his, but DS3 didn't, therefore DH gave DS2 chocolate and not poor DS3 who is only 3 and who of course doesn't really understand. Let him sulk, I say!!

OP posts:
lizziemun · 19/12/2007 13:22

What tootickydoves said. But i would also tell dh any shouting from him will result in you and ds going home.

I would also make sure that you dish up your ds dinner so that no-one (dh) puts to much on his plate. Can you get your MIL to have a word with DH so he gets the message that your ds will be allowed to eat what he wants as she doesn't want any upset.

I know what you mean about eating a good meal dd1 is also a fussy eater and i think dd1 has only every eaten a handfull of meals at MIL's mainly because she put to much on her plate including potatoes dd1 doesn't eat potatoes.

wessexgirl · 19/12/2007 13:23

Yes, get the squirtable marmite in! (Is there such a thing?)

He has no right to bugger up Christmas lunch for everyone. You go, Squirdle!

soapbox · 19/12/2007 13:24

Good for you Squirdle - don't let the miserable old scrooge ruin Christmas

Tatties · 19/12/2007 13:25

Oh how awful. Your dh is really out of order here. How on earth could forcing your ds to eat everything be productive?

I love ComeOVen's idea of a children's table!

lizziemun · 19/12/2007 13:25

I realy must type quicker there was only 2 messages when i started

Iklboo · 19/12/2007 13:27

NOt read the whole thread but for next few meals serve DH something he totally despises. And make him eat it.
The show him the film "Spring & Port Wine" where James Mason says 'Mother, she WILL eat that kipper if she has to be served it breakfast, lunch and dinner until she does" (or summat like that).