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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to offer help to my colleagues?

64 replies

Nidan2Sandan · 15/12/2021 14:23

Our job is busy, but also not linear. You can have a low amount of work that is complicated and be short of time or a high amount of work which is simple and keep on top of it. Really depends on what comes in.

Recently I have been getting on top of my work well and found that today I actually had no tasks that needed doing, so I emailed out to the team asking of anyone needed assistance on any tasks.

Several people came back grateful and took me up on my offer.

One person emailed saying everyone will hate me for pointing out I had nothing to do and offering to help them.

Just for clarity, I just had my yearly review and my manager graded me at exceeding my targets, said my work is excellent and she is really happy with me. All our cases are reviewed twice by management so she will know exactly what I'm doing, therefore i have no issues with the boss thinking I'm short changing my work or rushing it.

Would people really hate me for offering to help? Would you be offended if I did? If you had some work which was labour intensive and I could take the "easier" stuff off your hands to help?

I'm wondering if I shouldn't have offered now, but would feel bad sitting here watching Netflix instead of working knowing my colleagues are busy (not all, some have less work than me).

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 15/12/2021 14:29

I bet the person who's said that also has nothing to do and doesn't want to offer help so they're annoyed you did.

I'd be grateful for the help.

Winniemarysarah · 15/12/2021 14:35

I’m not sure about this. Presumably you’re all in the same boat in regards to unpredictable work loads and patterns so people shouldn’t be feeling jealous, what you’ve done can set an unpleasant precedent though. Other people in the same position as you may feel pressured into taking on other people’s workloads just because they’ve managed to complete theirs. There can be an expectation or bad feeling if someone’s got a heavy workload and they know someone else hasn’t, they may be expecting them to offer. I’m some circumstances an employer may expect people to take on extra work if they’re already volunteering to do so. And even though I said people shouldn’t be jealous, not everyone is reasonable and your colleague could be right, it may cause jealousy. If it were me then I’d just enjoy my good fortune and crack on with Netflix, no doubt the tables will turn soon and it’ll even itself out

shouldistop · 15/12/2021 14:37

@girlmom21

I bet the person who's said that also has nothing to do and doesn't want to offer help so they're annoyed you did.

I'd be grateful for the help.

This

EishetChayil · 15/12/2021 14:39

I wouldn't do it, but I'm quite ruthless about this. I refuse to work outside of my hours or pay grade.

OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 14:40

It sounds patronising and showing off to me. Also can come across as undermining, especially sending out a GROUP email, informing everyone including the bosses implying that you’re a much faster and capable worker than everyone Else. Why on Earth did you think this a good idea?

Starcaller · 15/12/2021 14:43

Sounds like it's just the nature of your work and your colleagues will know that so it's not really bragging. It's often the same at my work – someone can be really busy and someone else might have just finished something and not have the next thing to start, that's just the rhythm of it, and we always ask if anyone wants help rather than sitting about doing nothing.

shouldistop · 15/12/2021 14:43

@EishetChayil

I wouldn't do it, but I'm quite ruthless about this. I refuse to work outside of my hours or pay grade.

It doesn't sound like op is working outside her hours or pay grade though. More that she had nothing to do in paid time.

Halloweenbiscuits · 15/12/2021 14:43

I think that's perfectly lovely and it's something my team do all the time as as you say work fluctuates. Well done you for not being a jobsworth!

galacticpixels · 15/12/2021 14:46

In my job it's common (and expected) to put a message into the team Slack channel in the days coming up to big deadlines if you have capacity to help out others. For my job this usually means that projects that were supposed to go out on X date have been delayed, sudddnly freeing people up for that deadline.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 15/12/2021 14:47

There are only ever 3 repsonses to this:

Show off

Fuck that

Seems fine to me

The chosen repsonse tels you a lot about the person saying it.

Given your shifting workload I'd say that you made a pleasant gesture and someone in need took you up on it. And a misery guts showed themselves up.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 15/12/2021 14:48

Slack channel! I havent heard that phrase, or its equivalent, for ages! Takes me way back to a world ruled by Gantt charts

TimeForTeaAndG · 15/12/2021 14:49

I used to do it all the time in my old job. If I'd caught up I wasn't going to sit around with a coffee twiddling my thumbs and my colleagues could get on with their important work knowing I was looking after the inbox/sorting paperwork etc and if something came in for me I'd let them know I had my own stuff to deal with again.

Original poster

Nidan2Sandan · 15/12/2021 14:49

@OneRuleForThem

Because I dont believe in sitting twiddling my thumbs whilst my colleagues are busy. If I can help them with their list of quick tasks, so they can focus on their harder, or more complicated tasks why wouldnt I?

I'm not bragging, it's just been luck of the draw that my workload has been lots of smaller bits. I mean, I do have some big bits but they're not up for review till January when I will be back extra busy again.

OP posts:

EatSleepRantRepeat · 15/12/2021 14:49

I'd be totally grateful and snatch your arm off! Don't let jealous people get you down, they'd equally have the hump if you were sat there playing Angry Birds because you'd finished everything.

evilharpy · 15/12/2021 14:54

If this happened within my team there would be nothing but grateful responses. And copying in the bosses would be reasonable as they might have something ad hoc for you to help with, we do a lot of random project stuff as well as the main job. We also (individually) have peaks and troughs while we wait for everything to inevitably kick off at once. Absolutely nobody in my team would think you were being a dick.

ImInStealthMode · 15/12/2021 14:56

Seems fine to me OP. In my company there are 2 larger teams who have different roles but work in tandem with each other and there's a lot of crossover in the subject matter they each work on. The nature of our work means that each team's busiest periods are at different times of year, so there's some give and take in helping each other out where possible. We scratch their backs, they scratch ours.

I agree it sounds to me like the person who moaned is also at a lose end but can't be bothered helping out anyone else and is annoyed that you've put them to shame.

DilemmaDelilah · 15/12/2021 15:04

It is completely normal in my team to offer support to colleagues if we have a quiet time ourselves - and none of us are afraid to ask our colleagues if anyone has any spare capacity to help if we are double-booked, on leave etc.

Original poster

Nidan2Sandan · 15/12/2021 15:04

@evilharpy

Incidentally one of the line managers did email me and ask me to pick up a few bits of her work (which I did).

I'm just annoyed that I'm sitting here second guessing myself when I was just trying to be helpful, a "team player" even though that buzz phrase brings me out in hives, because I know after xmas we get really busy so helping now means less stress all round next year.

Argh, I dont know what to do. That email has really bothered me.

OP posts:

OneRuleForThem · 15/12/2021 15:09

It still comes across as patronising to me. I am just explaining how your colleague might have seen it the same why I have. However, I wouldn’t give it any more thought if I were you, because there is no competition between: sending an email to a group offering your help and sending an email to someone personally saying “our colleagues will hate you”. The second example is nasty and bullying and you’re not the one who sent that one.

ContadoraExplorer · 15/12/2021 15:14

Balls to them! I hate when people sit around doing bugger all while the test of their team are still busy with their allocated tasks. It should be the norm that if anyone is at a loose end they offer to pick work up. It's called teamwork...

mynameiscalypso · 15/12/2021 15:17

Your behaviour would be normal (and expected!) in every workplace I've ever been at. I would always offer to help out in similar circumstances (and would also avail myself of any such offers if I needed it).

LadyDanburysHat · 15/12/2021 15:20

I don't think it comes across as patronising. It is a perfectly normal thing to do in my job. Sometimes managers will email out to say one of their team has capacity if anyone needs help too.

I think it was a nice thing to do.

czechitout · 15/12/2021 15:30

One person emailed saying everyone will hate me for pointing out I had nothing to do and offering to help them.

If everyone will hate you that should include the one who emailed this. Does she (or he) hate you already? You may ask?

(Interesting how some people say how other will react or feel, somehow excluding themselves from that universal and natural reaction.)

czechitout · 15/12/2021 15:32

and btw, I do not regard the offer as patronizing or wrong. I suppose it was a friendly offer from a colleague. I think you've done well.

Fatgalslim · 15/12/2021 15:33

It would be appreciated where I work, I'm guessing the people who say it wouldn't are those that sit around doing not a lot when others are busy.

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