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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to offer help to my colleagues?

64 replies

Nidan2Sandan · 15/12/2021 14:23

Our job is busy, but also not linear. You can have a low amount of work that is complicated and be short of time or a high amount of work which is simple and keep on top of it. Really depends on what comes in.

Recently I have been getting on top of my work well and found that today I actually had no tasks that needed doing, so I emailed out to the team asking of anyone needed assistance on any tasks.

Several people came back grateful and took me up on my offer.

One person emailed saying everyone will hate me for pointing out I had nothing to do and offering to help them.

Just for clarity, I just had my yearly review and my manager graded me at exceeding my targets, said my work is excellent and she is really happy with me. All our cases are reviewed twice by management so she will know exactly what I'm doing, therefore i have no issues with the boss thinking I'm short changing my work or rushing it.

Would people really hate me for offering to help? Would you be offended if I did? If you had some work which was labour intensive and I could take the "easier" stuff off your hands to help?

I'm wondering if I shouldn't have offered now, but would feel bad sitting here watching Netflix instead of working knowing my colleagues are busy (not all, some have less work than me).

OP posts:
lockdownalli · 15/12/2021 15:36

YANBU

It is completely normal practice in my sector. Your colleague is a knob. Just ignore them.

TarpaulinEyes · 15/12/2021 15:50

I used to do this if I had some free time in one job I had. It made a nice change from my usual work. It was also a good way of getting to know other people who worked there.

KatherineJaneway · 15/12/2021 16:02

@girlmom21

I bet the person who's said that also has nothing to do and doesn't want to offer help so they're annoyed you did.

I'd be grateful for the help.

Exactly.

It was a lovely thing to do. I know Id be grateful.

MedusasBadHairDay · 15/12/2021 16:07

YANBU, seems like a perfectly normal thing to do to me. Nothing offensive or patronising about it.

RavingAnnie · 15/12/2021 16:21

I find some of the responses on this thread utterly bizarre. Of course you should support your colleagues when you have capacity. That's team work. And of course you should take the initiative to request more work rather than sit around twiddling your thumbs. This is work 101 surely. If v people are responding badly to that that says more about them than you.

Sceptre86 · 15/12/2021 16:34

I don't work in this kind of sector but my dh does. He works in a small team and I know his other colleague definitely offers when she has a lighter load and he reciprocates.

LethargicActress · 15/12/2021 16:39

I think the mistake was in emailing round to everyone at the same time, but you weren’t wrong to offer your help.

Part of the problem could be that you end up with so many requests that you can’t fulfill them, and then a kind offer of help could lead to someone feeling let down because they can’t get help they were briefly led to believe they’d have.

Just email or ask in person individually next time.

ChargingBuck · 15/12/2021 16:56

One person emailed saying everyone will hate me for pointing out I had nothing to do and offering to help them.
This person clearly had enough time on their hands to compose & send a spiteful message, so instead of questioning yourself, you'd do better to reframe the question by wondering what their motivation for sending such an undermining email was.
Maybe they can't bear for you to look good.
Maybe they are a moaning minnie who simply has to have something to complain about.
Maybe they were sitting on their hands, not as busy as the rest, & now feel guilty for not offering their own help.

Whatever it is, it's not actually your problem.
Your best response is probably NONE. (Mindgame players just hate to be ignored. It tales all their ammunition away!)

Would people really hate me for offering to help? Would you be offended if I did? If you had some work which was labour intensive and I could take the "easier" stuff off your hands to help?
Of course not. It's what working in a team is all about.
And if you helped me, I'd also be looking out for you, when you were swamped.

Original poster
Nidan2Sandan · 15/12/2021 17:09

@LethargicActress

I think the mistake was in emailing round to everyone at the same time, but you weren’t wrong to offer your help.

Part of the problem could be that you end up with so many requests that you can’t fulfill them, and then a kind offer of help could lead to someone feeling let down because they can’t get help they were briefly led to believe they’d have.

Just email or ask in person individually next time.

I had a few people ask for help and I have completed everything they requested. Most of it was drawing up some letters, making quick calls or closing cases (the case closure system is a bit of a faff, lots of different unnecessary boxes to tick to get the computer to register the closure).

I have a few bits for a colleague I know has a lot on her plate which I will do tomorrow in-between my own actions.

Thanks everyone, glad I WBU and i will continue to offer to help my colleagues. Wink

OP posts:
BashfulClam · 15/12/2021 17:10

This is how my team works. The first thing we do is let our t/l know and they will either see if they have anything or they will then check the workflow to see who needs a hand and ask them to pass stuff over. We had one woman who would try and pass off complex work..eh no Mary it’s quick wins please and one who would do the bare minimum after offering help so you actually didn’t have any time saved.

Chely · 15/12/2021 17:13

I'd be annoyed if you offered to take the "easier" work off my hands.

ineedsun · 15/12/2021 17:15

@OneRuleForThem

It sounds patronising and showing off to me. Also can come across as undermining, especially sending out a GROUP email, informing everyone including the bosses implying that you’re a much faster and capable worker than everyone Else. Why on Earth did you think this a good idea?
Why on earth wouldn’t it be a good idea?!

Your response confuses me.

Comtedemontecristo · 15/12/2021 17:24

Like you I would ask for work if I wasn't busy, although I might have asked my manager rather than the team. Who sent the email? What sort of person are they?

Mxflamingnoravera · 15/12/2021 17:35

I do offer help when I am working with a colleague who is clearly working at or beyond capacity and I have a bit of slack which does happen in education adminstration. I don't email out across the board I just contact the one person I can see is stretched and might want some assistance. It has always been gratefully recieved and no one else knows so it does not set a precident for others to have to do the same.
I also builds up goodwill so that when I need help, the people I have helped are more likely to help me when I am stretched.

Flowers500 · 15/12/2021 17:38

It sounds like you are in something like the legal sector, in which case this is the most bog standard thing. Your colleague is a bitchy fruitcake.

SpikeDearheart · 15/12/2021 17:42

It's totally normal/expected in my line of work to put a general message out to your wider team if you have some unexpected capacity. Emailing everyone individually would be considered colossally inefficient. If too many people reply, we're expected to have the professional nous to figure out how to prioritise. There are some weird attitudes exhibited on this thread - no wonder some environments are miserable, inefficient places to work.

SarahDippity · 15/12/2021 17:47

@Chely

I'd be annoyed if you offered to take the "easier" work off my hands.
What?! Why? It makes sense that she takes the easy-to-do time-consuming stuff so you could concentrate on more important things. Were you being sarcastic?
caketiger · 15/12/2021 17:51

Don't listen to the idiots posting. You are a good colleague!

EatSleepRantRepeat · 15/12/2021 17:53

I'm glad the negative responders on this thread aren't working for my team - they wouldn't last very long. It's expected that the workload is spread evenly, and the team players take the spoils at year-end bonus time - not by doing lots of overtime, but putting their hand up like this to say they have extra capacity.

DDivaStar · 15/12/2021 17:58

Its a good work ethic and good to be a team player. You'll get loads of people replying saying thus is usual in ther team.

The most important point tho is this isn't the norm in your team. By sending the message you are highlighting yourself and this may get the backs up of your colleagues.

You never know it nay become a more normal thing for your team, who knows.....

Flowers500 · 15/12/2021 18:25

@Chely

I'd be annoyed if you offered to take the "easier" work off my hands.
...what? So you'd be annoyed if a colleague who had an easy period took on some of your admin/routine tasks when you were up against deadlines? Have you ever worked in an office before?
steff13 · 15/12/2021 18:36

This sounds like my job. We are encouraged to offer to help our co-workers if we don't have anything to do. We've been pretty slow because of the pandemic, so there hasn't been a lot for anyone to do, but my supervisor always mentions my willingness to help other as a positive on my annual review. As far as I know, everyone is grateful for the help.

steff13 · 15/12/2021 18:37

@Chely

I'd be annoyed if you offered to take the "easier" work off my hands.
Oh, it's an unwritten rule at my office that if you give one of your hearings to someone else, you give them the less complicated issues. It's shitty to burden someone offering to help you with the more difficult work.
PrincessPaws · 15/12/2021 18:56

Presumably you’re all in the same boat in regards to unpredictable work loads and patterns so people shouldn’t be feeling jealous, what you’ve done can set an unpleasant precedent though. Other people in the same position as you may feel pressured into taking on other people’s workloads just because they’ve managed to complete theirs. There can be an expectation or bad feeling if someone’s got a heavy workload and they know someone else hasn’t, they may be expecting them to offer. I’m some circumstances an employer may expect people to take on extra work if they’re already volunteering to do so. And even though I said people shouldn’t be jealous, not everyone is reasonable and your colleague could be right, it may cause jealousy. If it were me then I’d just enjoy my good fortune and crack on with Netflix, no doubt the tables will turn soon and it’ll even itself out

Bloody hell what a horrendous attitude! If it's your working hours and you are being paid, of course it makes sense to help others out.

sst1234 · 15/12/2021 19:01

Don’t be put off by other people’s low bar. Especially in the responses you are getting here. You did nothing wrong. The person who replied just didn’t like being shown up because they are lazy. Lazy, incompetent people struggle seeing others do better or go above and beyond.