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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop daughter from attending Xmas sleepover?

61 replies

thenewduchessofhastings · 12/12/2021 21:13

What would you do?

16 year DD in year 11;has a end of term sleep over planned on Friday night at her friends house.

There'll be 5 of them there all in very close proximity in the same bedroom.

Two weeks ago we had a letter emailed to us by her school from the local council asking parents to support them by keeping transmission rates down.

Some of the advice in that letter was to reconsider allowing our children to attend indoor events,parties and sleepovers.

DD's friends parents are two of the most sensible people I know and are happy to allow the sleepover to go ahead but we've a huge rise in this new variant in the city we live in and we've always had issues with high Covid rates here.

If DD gets Covid it'll be a miserable Christmas;she's also has a really hard to shift cough/chest infection going on for the last two months to the point the GP sent her for chest X-rays so her immune system isn't at its strongest at the moment either.She had her first jab at the end of November so isn't double jabbed yet.

She's absolutely determined to go and say she's 16 and it's her choice.I know she'd be devastated to miss it but to me her health comes first.

OP posts:
BotterMon · 12/12/2021 21:46

Why don't they all just LFT that day? It would be pretty shitty for all the 5 families to have their Christmases ruined if one of them is positive.

At school they are not in one smallish room with no ventilation for 12 hours.

Blondeshavemorefun · 12/12/2021 21:53

All do a lf

They would have been in contact at school

Lougle · 12/12/2021 21:55

I must admit, I didn't even consider Covid when I let DD3 go for a sleepover yesterday. She's had Covid quite recently, so perhaps that's why I didn't see it as a huge risk?

Dimondsareforever · 12/12/2021 21:56

Could they all do a LFT at the start of the evening?

Flipflopblowout · 12/12/2021 21:56

I would allow it but I would also be having a chat about her being 16 and that life style decisions about her are not wholly hers to make.

fabricfanatic · 12/12/2021 22:00

The only reason I'd hesitate is your daughter's personal health. Her chest infection would be a concern for me. It really depends on just how bad her health is at the moment. However, if she's well enough to attend school and face potential exposure there, I think it's pointless to stop her doing something fun that she's been looking forward to.

Budapestdreams · 12/12/2021 22:02

Masks aren't mandatory in classrooms. The risk of catching Covid is higher from attending school than from attending the sleepover.
If you won't let her go to the sleepover, you should also be keeping her off school this week.
Is she vaccinated? Are her friends?

I would let her go.

Budapestdreams · 12/12/2021 22:04

Just re-read. She is jabbed, so that is quite good protection for a 16 year old. I still think the sleepover is lower risk than going to school.

VaccineSticker · 12/12/2021 22:08

When does she break from school/college and when does she have the sleepover? How big is the gap?
Being in class in the same bubble one day then breaking up for hols then seeing each other 5-6 days later is not in the same bubble anymore unless they don’t social with anyone outside their usual bubble which is impossible.
The risk is high with omicron. Depends how much risk she’s willing to take with her poorly chest and if she’s jabbed…

AnotherOneWithNoGoodName · 12/12/2021 22:26

Agree with everybody else.
If they are together all day at school, an extra night won't make a difference.

BobbieT1999 · 12/12/2021 22:28

If you do allow her to go, I'd insist on sensible precautions like keeping a window in the room open, stringent hand washing and not sharing bowls of popcorn.

BobbieT1999 · 12/12/2021 22:29

If you have faith in how sensible she and her friends are I'd also consider treating them as adults and asking them to reconsider it - to seriously weigh up the potential risks. Ensure they have all the reliable info and trust their judgement.

Nayday · 12/12/2021 22:33

Jabbed + LFT I'd let her go. She's mixing with a higher number of people at school on a daily basis.

RaPumPumPumPum · 12/12/2021 22:35

I think if this last week or so has taught us anything it’s this government are an absolute shit show who couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery let alone a global pandemic. And the knock on effect is that devolved power given to local authorities is not up to scratch either. I mean personally I’ve never been a “I must do it simply because the authorities say so” kind of person but I’d be sending my DD, putting her needs and friendships first, rather than listening to this government that is nothing less than fraudulent and criminally incompetent

Buttercup54321 · 12/12/2021 22:35

I would let her go.

RaPumPumPumPum · 12/12/2021 22:35

@BobbieT1999

If you do allow her to go, I'd insist on sensible precautions like keeping a window in the room open, stringent hand washing and not sharing bowls of popcorn.
Never mind COVID they’d get bloody hypothermia- it’s December!!
Tee20x · 12/12/2021 22:41

But they go to school together?

MadeOfStarStuff · 12/12/2021 22:42

Let her go, they’re in school in close proximity anyway and her age group have missed out on so much in the last 2 years.

BobbieT1999 · 12/12/2021 22:51

@RaPumPumPumPum one assumes they're sleeping under duvets or in decent sleeping bags?

I often have a window open all night for fresh air and I'm a cold bodied soul!

We all did it last year anyway (presumably).

friedeggandsauce · 12/12/2021 22:52

My daughter had a sleepover, 5 in a room, turned out one had covid and no one else got it! Amazed really

Branleuse · 12/12/2021 22:56

Id allow it if its all schoolfriends on last day of term.

maryzx · 12/12/2021 22:56

"Letting her go" is a bit of a moot point with a 16 yr old, but I would give her my blessing and would be encouraging her to do something nice and sociable. I gave my blessing to similar last year. Young people have had the most unspeakably shit time in all of this, and there is no way I would be compounding it in any way at all.

Looubylou · 12/12/2021 23:12

I would allow it. Won't they be sseing each other anyway? Children have missed out on too much already

Feelingoktoday · 12/12/2021 23:17

Agree with others let her go. I’ve got teens. It really has been shit for them.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 12/12/2021 23:19

Absolutely let her go. She is with these people all day.