To feel like I don't have enough time to really play with my children!

[user1496146479]

Hi all!
So we have four dc, eldest is ten, youngest is one. Both myself & DH work full time in reasonable demanding jobs - officially 9-5 but definitely not 9-5 in practice. DH is totally an equal parent, cooks, cleans, school runs etc all shared.

Older three children all do activities during the week and at weekends. Some of activities overlap, some don't. We have already cut back on some. We carpool with other parents where we can to share the load where possible, but this is not as easy now with covid etc.

So with all this, I just realised this evening while sorting laundry & uniforms etc for this week, that there never seems to be enough time to just play with the kids. Sure they play with each other and occasionally with DH or I, but I honestly cannot recall the last time we played.

How do you fit this in? I'm most definitely not a domestic goddess spending hours cleaning etc, but there just never seems to be enough time to get the basics done, before both DH & I fall into bed exhausted each night?

What am I missing?

God, sorry it's so long!

@BigGreen

Isn't it important to play with kids? I thought it's the main way that they learn about the world. Doesn't everyone else get their eyes poked out when little DC are playing Doctors .

Does no-one else secretly love building lego??

Not my eyes, but I get injected violently in the stomach over and over again with our toy doctor's needle. It's a shame they're not recruiting 4 year olds to help with the vaccination drive as my DC would be in their element sticking needles into people .

Most young kids will play a lot at nursery and the staff will be great at promoting play and encouraging them. It's nice if parents can play too though, even if that just means dancing around the kitchen or throwing balloons about for 15 minutes or taking some cars to the playground.

For me, the most important ages for parents to promote play seem to be first 1-2 years (before they start nursery) and then from Y1 onwards at school when learning becomes less play-based but children are still young enough for play to be important in their development. It worries me how soon we move away from play-based learning in this country. Promoting children's play at home can mitigate this to some extent if they're not getting enough play at school.

I am very aware of this.

My youngest & I were covid isolating last week and I really really tried really hard to reframe it in my mind as a blessing. Rather than dwell on lost school time and me having to WFH, I focussed on enjoying a week of just me and her to bake, play, just "be" together as much as possible.

It's also a reason we won't use private school. We could afford it if we both worked full time, but the time pressures would be too much of a sacrifice for me.

I play with my two for anywhere from 10 mins to an hour a day. Both my husband and I work full time. We make sure they we make 10 minutes SOMEWHERE (This can be pretty random) for them this might by while I'm waiting for dinner to cook or while my husband is hanging up the washing. My kids really appreciate this time. My DS is 4 and his favourite thing is a game of noughts and crosses before we start the bedtime routine. We've also started 'question time' so before bed he can ask us any question he wants (normally about space) and we ask him to questions about things he's learnt recently. I love this time and it helps me appreciate how much he has grown. My DD3 prefers storytime or brushing ( pulling out )my hair x

Thanks everyone, its helpful to get the different view points etc and know that we are not totally unique!
Will try take some of the suggestions on board, and we are most definitely looking forward to family time at Christmas.
Thanks

I'm from a big family and my mum never played with me - I just played with my little sister and mum also asked friends over too. I am absolutely fine, adore my parents and think they're the best in the world. Don't worry about it!

I thought the point of siblings was so that they would play together rather than you playing with them, to balance out the additional time you have to spend on caring for extra people.

But in terms of your specific situation - can you or DH cut your hours or compress them so DC go to CM less? Or reduce the other stuff taking up your time - get a cleaner/laundry service/meal prep boxes/dishwasher/gardener?