AIBU to consider having a planned C section?

[bratzybaby]

Hi, I originally posted this on the Parenting board but only had one response so hopefully it's okay to post here.

This may be a long one so thank you for reading!

I had a baby in May and to say it was a traumatising experience is an understatement! Long story short I had an emergency epidural as the baby was in distress. The epidural was given as I needed to be put on a hormone drip which would push my contractions together so I was able to push the baby out. Originally I didn't want an epidural but I wanted the baby to come out asap so I said I'll have one.

The anaesthetist that administrated the epidural ended up puncturing my spine. This resulted in something called a spinal headache a day later and I needed three producers to fix this. Both mine and the baby's blood pressure dropped because the epidural wasn't working and we had midwifes and doctors rushing in to stabilise this. They were finally able too and after some hours, my epidural had to be redone because the original anaesthetist had put it in the wrong place so it was ineffective.

Eventually I pushed the baby out but was taken to theatre straight away as I had lost 2L of blood because my uterus wasn't contracting. The doctors were great and managed to stop the bleeding but I immediately had to have a CT scan and so many other things. Both baby and I were put on the High Dependency Unit and had to be monitored closely. After my first procedure to rectify the spinal headache, baby and I were moved to the postnatal ward. This is where it gets even worse.

Baby and I were in hospital for a total of 7 days. For the first two days when we were in HDU, the midwives would express colostrum and feed it to the baby as I was completely unable to move or bend my neck (due to the effects of the spinal headache caused by the puncture in my spine). When we were moved to the postnatal ward, the midwives refused to help and said they weren't allowed to touch the patients breasts. They kept on encouraging me to latch the baby correctly and simply weren't listening to the fact that I literally couldn't bend my neck to see what I was doing. I was given syringes and left to it.

On day 5 when baby was weighed, she had lost 15% of her birth weight and I was told that it was normally expected for babies to lose 5-10%. When the pediatric doctor came round he set up a feeding plan for me to stick too and explained to the midwives that the baby wasn't receiving nowhere near enough food due to my condition and that they needed to start helping me asap. If the baby didn't put on enough weight in two days then she'll have to get taken to intensive care and be put on a feeding tube. It was all too much and this was during Covid times so my birthing partner (my mum) could only stay for 4hrs a day. I was basically all by myself.

Fast forward to now, I've had a debrief with one of the professors at the hospital. I've had a meeting with the head of the anaesthetist team and a meeting with the matron of the ward. I've sent a complaint letter to PALS and we're also planning to sue for negligence. I've since had CBT therapy which has helped SO MUCH with dealing with the trauma. My therapist was amazing and I've made a lot of progress.

I'm now pregnant again! I've changed hospitals as I refuse to give birth at the hospital where I had my firstborn but I now have the option to have a planned C section. This will be done by Consultants only or I can go into spontaneous labour and see what happens. This may not seem like much of a question but honestly I think I'm just scared and wanted to voice my worries as the consultants that are currently leading my pregnancy are trying to point me in the direction of having a spontaneous labour.

Of course a C section has it's risk so I see why the consultants are recommending that I go into spontaneous labour but I'm just not sure. I definitely do not trust health professionals as much as I should due to my past experience.

I have to make my decision in a few weeks and feel that I should have questions written down at the very least but I have so many worries I don't even know where to start. I also have a physiological birth plan which my therapist has helped me write up so that has a lot of my concerns on paper and on my file which is great.

I just wondered what other people would do/think they would do in this situation or if anyone has been through anything slightly similar?

@Thehop

I’m not sure I can agree with suing an already stretched service for negligence. They made a mistake. I had a hideous chain of events similar that left me in a coma after my first but I would t have dreamed of suing the NHS.

But…….if you think your mental health will be better protected with a cs then you are entitled to have one.

I had a section with my last and it was hideous. But some women feel very different.

@Thehop do you think the NHS being stretched will stop me suing for negligence when the midwives dismissive behaviour led to my newborn daughter getting ill?? I can't even reply to this comment properly because nowhere did I ask for people's opinions on whether they can agree with me suing or not.

You wasn't there seeing my daughter unable to stay awake to feed once put on her feeding plan. 5 days of hardly getting any food, she was so tired that she couldn't stay awake to take any food. All because the midwives never listened and helped me yet you think I care about your opinion?
If you're happy to end up in a coma due to negligence but you'll never 'dream of suing the NHS' then honestly great for you. Bye

C-section- i had an elective one cos I wanted to. I have no trauma associated with the birth, the recovery for first 2 weeks were tough but I had no complications. I’m happy with my choice

I get it, I do. My baby was directly affected by a midwife’s negligence. I made a complaint and made sure lessons were learnt. Taking money wouldn’t have solved the problem, more midwives and more training are needed.

I’ve clearly made you angry and that’s not my intention, I apologise. Sadly, you post on AIBU and you will hear peoples opinions on your whole post.

I’m glad you’re in a better place now and hope your next delivery goes smoothly.

@bratzybaby yes of course no worries!

Also I think that a lot of the reason c sections aren't encouraged is due to cost.

I remember the consultant explaining about the smaller needle for the anaesthetic for the c section and how because it's done under calm and planned conditions it's much easier/safer. You're sat still on an operating table with no contractions and they anaesthetist can take their time.

There's a risk to all c sections and there is also a risk to all natural births. Childbirth can be risky, and I was happy being surrounded by a team of surgeons/doctors/midwives etc for my c section.

How were they negligent?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing an elective section, even if it's just because you would prefer it! Your body. Your choice. I had one and had zero pain and a super fast recovery. Choose whatever option is best for you and your baby.

I wentthrough something very, very similar with my first, am pregnant again. 20 week scan and meeting with consultant and anaesthetic consultant who did my de briefs next week, (dreading it) and investigated it all, I wrote my letter to Pals, saw a solicitor then covid began, so I never took it any further. I've been offered a GA and csection this time, I will probably do this, although I want to try a birth, it feels so risky, so unpredictable, anything could happen. I've had successful trauma CBT and am having another lot of EMDR before birth to help me deal with the PTSD. Do what ever gives you the feeling of control, with the least risks physically and emotionally. Bet of luck, I totally understand.

I had an ‘eventful’ first birth (PROM, induction, shoulder dystocia, failed ventouse and forceps) and a medically-necessary planned c-section with my second.

I, personally, would opt for a natural delivery every time, although I can understand why you would prefer a c-section for mental health reasons.

The c-section was not calm, desirable or pleasant in any way - it was an operation in an operating theatre. I had agonising pain afterwards due to trapped air and was limping around for weeks afterwards. I’ve also been left with a huge flap of loose skin overhanging the scar. I was up and about within hours of the natural birth, walked to a cafe for lunch within 48 hours and my uterus retracted properly.