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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to consider having a planned C section?

59 replies

bratzybaby · 12/12/2021 14:24

Hi, I originally posted this on the Parenting board but only had one response so hopefully it's okay to post here.

This may be a long one so thank you for reading!

I had a baby in May and to say it was a traumatising experience is an understatement! Long story short I had an emergency epidural as the baby was in distress. The epidural was given as I needed to be put on a hormone drip which would push my contractions together so I was able to push the baby out. Originally I didn't want an epidural but I wanted the baby to come out asap so I said I'll have one.

The anaesthetist that administrated the epidural ended up puncturing my spine. This resulted in something called a spinal headache a day later and I needed three producers to fix this. Both mine and the baby's blood pressure dropped because the epidural wasn't working and we had midwifes and doctors rushing in to stabilise this. They were finally able too and after some hours, my epidural had to be redone because the original anaesthetist had put it in the wrong place so it was ineffective.

Eventually I pushed the baby out but was taken to theatre straight away as I had lost 2L of blood because my uterus wasn't contracting. The doctors were great and managed to stop the bleeding but I immediately had to have a CT scan and so many other things. Both baby and I were put on the High Dependency Unit and had to be monitored closely. After my first procedure to rectify the spinal headache, baby and I were moved to the postnatal ward. This is where it gets even worse.

Baby and I were in hospital for a total of 7 days. For the first two days when we were in HDU, the midwives would express colostrum and feed it to the baby as I was completely unable to move or bend my neck (due to the effects of the spinal headache caused by the puncture in my spine). When we were moved to the postnatal ward, the midwives refused to help and said they weren't allowed to touch the patients breasts. They kept on encouraging me to latch the baby correctly and simply weren't listening to the fact that I literally couldn't bend my neck to see what I was doing. I was given syringes and left to it.

On day 5 when baby was weighed, she had lost 15% of her birth weight and I was told that it was normally expected for babies to lose 5-10%. When the pediatric doctor came round he set up a feeding plan for me to stick too and explained to the midwives that the baby wasn't receiving nowhere near enough food due to my condition and that they needed to start helping me asap. If the baby didn't put on enough weight in two days then she'll have to get taken to intensive care and be put on a feeding tube. It was all too much and this was during Covid times so my birthing partner (my mum) could only stay for 4hrs a day. I was basically all by myself.

Fast forward to now, I've had a debrief with one of the professors at the hospital. I've had a meeting with the head of the anaesthetist team and a meeting with the matron of the ward. I've sent a complaint letter to PALS and we're also planning to sue for negligence. I've since had CBT therapy which has helped SO MUCH with dealing with the trauma. My therapist was amazing and I've made a lot of progress.

I'm now pregnant again! I've changed hospitals as I refuse to give birth at the hospital where I had my firstborn but I now have the option to have a planned C section. This will be done by Consultants only or I can go into spontaneous labour and see what happens. This may not seem like much of a question but honestly I think I'm just scared and wanted to voice my worries as the consultants that are currently leading my pregnancy are trying to point me in the direction of having a spontaneous labour.

Of course a C section has it's risk so I see why the consultants are recommending that I go into spontaneous labour but I'm just not sure. I definitely do not trust health professionals as much as I should due to my past experience.

I have to make my decision in a few weeks and feel that I should have questions written down at the very least but I have so many worries I don't even know where to start. I also have a physiological birth plan which my therapist has helped me write up so that has a lot of my concerns on paper and on my file which is great.

I just wondered what other people would do/think they would do in this situation or if anyone has been through anything slightly similar?

OP posts:
RaginaPhalange · 12/12/2021 21:58

I would opt for c section. I also had a pretty rough time with my first, lost 2 litres of blood too and midwives were arguing with dh that it was only 500ml until they weighed it they realised they were very wrong, so then decided to rush me to theatre and that's only the start.

With ds2 I had a c section and it was the best decision I made. I know it has its risks and some people also have not so good experiences. But it was a breeze I recovered quicker from the section and didn't even lose 500ml of blood.

Bumblebee1812 · 12/12/2021 22:14

I had a traumatic birth with my first 2 years ago with some definite negligent behaviour from some of the midwives who supported me. I’m pregnant again and definitely opting for a C Section. The registrar I spoke to also tried to put me off. My husband told me today that it’s been in the press that they are trying to push natural births due to capacity issues across the UK. Good luck x

Chocolatewheatos · 12/12/2021 22:27

YANBU my induction went wrong and my labour just didn't progress so I ended up with an emergency c section. If I was to repeat the process. I would wait for natural labour, I would have a balloon induction and my waters broken as I did this time but if labour didn't progress I would go straight to a c section. Everything was fine until that hellish fucking drip.

If I were you, I'd wait for labour to start, if it didn't progress, or baby wasn't happy (have the heart rate straps on) then I'd go straight to c section. But then maybe if your just waiting for labour to fail it will fail anyway and you'll be stressed so maybe best to just go straight to c section and save the worry

User154871 · 12/12/2021 22:29

I've just had my first. I had to have a GA elective c section - originally wanted a spinal due to multiple reasons and then they decided my back wasn't suitable for a spinal so I had a GA. Just wanted to say to watch out for bad data collection - the NHS doesn't publish the data for elective c sections separately from that of emergency ones. Therefore especially the risks with GA are very hard to accurately predict with an elective.

My baby was fine, my birth partner did skin to skin and my milk came in fine on day 3 and she only lost 5% of her birth weight. I had a horrific time on the postnatal ward so I also complained formally but I'd have another section tomorrow.

Claireshh · 12/12/2021 22:31

In your shoes I would 100% have a planned c section.

I had an emergency one first time and opted for a planned one second time round. I know it’s a big operation but my recovery was smooth, recovery fast and birth was very calm.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 12/12/2021 22:35

Isn't this just awful? It's your body op, you should not need to go into a massive story about horrific birth stories. You should be able to say, I've had one baby I know what it's about, I've done my research and I'd like an elective section. Why women still accept the NHS trying to tell us how to deliver a baby is beyond me.

Radio four some years ago now the biggest cost to maternity.... Payouts for brain dead children, born with massive issues due to negligence.

thepeopleversuswork · 12/12/2021 22:36

You would absolutely not be unreasonable to want a planned C Section. In this or any other circumstance. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 12/12/2021 22:38

I had an elective for my second and it was far better than my first so called perfect delivery.
It was really helped me get over the first birth.

TheKeatingFive · 12/12/2021 22:45

Absolutely yes.

I wouldn't countenance anything else after your experience.

I will warn against a GA though. My first birth was a c section under GA (emergency) and I was very groggy/woozy when waking up and don't really remember anything about meeting DS1 for the first time. My second birth was a c section under local and that was much, much nicer.

TheKeatingFive · 12/12/2021 22:47

Also anecdotal admittedly but my milk came in no problem at all after both c sections,

neverornow · 12/12/2021 22:47

Absolutely push for an elective c section next time.

GiantWaterBottle · 12/12/2021 22:49

Wow OP I had a really similar first birth story to you and have since sued (and won) for negligence. Again with some the worst part was the post natal ward and being ignored by the midwives (ignored in what I was saying).
Anyway long story short, I also had PTSD and had CBT (which was brilliant) for it and then had a planned C section for my second. It was a wonderful experience, so calm and professional the exact opposite of my first. I have zero regrets and loved it.
A planned c section is actually safer than an attempted natural birth (certainly a induction) unless you have specific underlying health concerns.

Good luck op, you'll be fine :)

MariaDingbat · 12/12/2021 22:53

I had an elective section last year that needed to be under general anaesthetic. I was always going to have a section, but on the day, they found my platelets had dropped sharply and they couldn't risk a spinal incase I bled into my spine. It was not exactly what I had planned but it went fine. There are some down sides to it, but nothing that would stop me doing it again if I needed to.

They need to get the baby it as quick as possible once your under, so the baby is exposed to as little of the anaesthetic as possible, so the catheter is placed before you're under and it's a bit uncomfortable. My baby was born unconscious and not breathing and had to be given an anti-opiate injection to counter the anaesthetic. As it was elective, they had a brilliant team waiting to revive her and she recovered quickly thankfully and needed no additional support afterwards (Apgar 3 at 1 minute, 8 at 5 mins and 9 at 10 mins). She was born at 3.40pm, I didn't really properly come to until 7pm that evening so I only got to meet her then and I was still quite groggy. That night I was really exhausted from the anaesthetic and found it hard to stay awake to feed her. I was alone with her for 3 days in three hospital with no visitors because of Covid and it was tough. I feel asleep a lot because of the after effects of the anaesthetic and really leaned heavily on the midwives, who were great.

Despite all that, once I was home I was fine. I recovered quickly from the section and I don't feel that I missed it on any special moments with my daughter. Going in to the birth, my only birth plan was get her out safely and control any damage to me, both those were met so I consider it a really positive birth.

JustWonderingIfYou · 12/12/2021 22:53

I would go for a natural birth. Avoid the spinal completely. I know too many women while had complications from them. Everyone acts as though they are safe but they are horrific when they go wrong.

sageandbasil · 12/12/2021 22:58

I just had a section 2 weeks ago after a failed induction, it was absolutely brilliant. I'd recommend it. The recovery was hard but only for the first few days, it does feel like you'll never walk again but it does improve quickly x

sageandbasil · 12/12/2021 22:59

Also I was dreading the spinal but it was fantastic, pain free as they used LA first

Beseen22 · 12/12/2021 23:15

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and was offered a section for my second. My midwife was amazing the first time so I don't have any trauma from my first birth...the main issue was the increased risk of severe tear with subsequent birth causing increased risk of lifelong urinary and faecal incontinence. It was incredibly difficult to decide because you have no idea how your birth is going to go..I felt it would be easier if he was breech or the docs just made the decision for me because then it wouldn't be my fault if something went wrong.

The deciding factor wasn't medical for me...we were expats, I had no help with the eldest and we had to move house when second baby was 2 weeks old. I knew I couldn't be recovering from a section with those circumstances. In the end I had a pretty horrible long birth with a episiotomy rather than a tear but I healed fairly quickly. If I had been at home with Grandma and cousins on hand to entertain the big brother I would have 100% had a section.

Hiphopopotamus · 12/12/2021 23:15

Just to put in another point of view, though firstly to say that it’s absolutely your choice to do whatever you think is best.

But it sounds like the most traumatic bit of your birth was on the post natel ward, particularly when you were completely dependent on midwives to help you and do things for you. Having a c section basically guarantees this happening again - even as a best case, you’ll have to go on the ward and your movements and ability to care for your baby will be limited in the very short term. Although there is a risk of this with spontaneous labour and vaginal birth, there’s also the chance that it might go smoothly and you could push for a quick discharge and be home in your own bed with your baby.

It’s up to you though - maybe the planned nature of the c section will be more beneficial than the unknown of the spontaneous labour but it’s worth thinking about.

Kisskiss · 12/12/2021 23:33

I had an elective c section…it was very calm and quick ..I was able to hold my baby, feed him etc .. 24h after the operation I was able to waddle around my room, take a shower.

As someone who was terrified of the idea of vaginal birth and unknown outcomes which come with labour, the c section was amazing

megletthesecond · 12/12/2021 23:39

A boring planned c-section sounds like it might not be a bad idea.

pinksquash13 · 13/12/2021 00:07

I'm so sorry for the trauma you went through. It sounds absolutely awful and you've been a real victim of the pandemic. I have a similar story but no way near as bad.

3 day labour. Asked for epidural and same thing happened. Junior anesthetist did dural tap. They were v apologetic and checked on me often. Fortunately I was the lucky 20% who didn't get the awful headache. They think it might have fixed itself. But when I was waiting for the headache the midwives were very good. Most were very hands on with breastfeeding (and the hcas too). Lots helped me syringe milk and then feed baby. I fed for 18 months in the end. Did you manage to establish breastfeeding after your awful start. This was pre covid thank god so my husband could do lots. I ended up with an emergency c section btw. And actually it was fine. I recovered as expected. It wasn't awful by any means and I'm choosing elective next time. Personally, I wouldn't go GA. I am going to demand an experienced anestheseologist and ask to meet them before to talk the epidural through.

Good luck with your next birth whatever you decide. I hope it is healing for you.

Original poster
bratzybaby · 13/12/2021 08:13

Thanks again for all the comments.
Really interesting to hear about some of the negative experiences some have experienced. It's also worth speaking to the consultant about the effects of having a C section under general anaesthetic as opposed to having it done the spinal way.

@GiantWaterBottle I've also PM you, hope you don't mind!

OP posts:
Thehop · 13/12/2021 08:23

I’m not sure I can agree with suing an already stretched service for negligence. They made a mistake. I had a hideous chain of events similar that left me in a coma after my first but I would t have dreamed of suing the NHS.

But…….if you think your mental health will be better protected with a cs then you are entitled to have one.

I had a section with my last and it was hideous. But some women feel very different.

Original poster
bratzybaby · 13/12/2021 08:43

@Bumblebee1812

I had a traumatic birth with my first 2 years ago with some definite negligent behaviour from some of the midwives who supported me. I’m pregnant again and definitely opting for a C Section. The registrar I spoke to also tried to put me off. My husband told me today that it’s been in the press that they are trying to push natural births due to capacity issues across the UK. Good luck x
@Bumblebee1812 isn't it so ridiculous how they try to put you off a C Section even after having a traumatic experience! You'd think they'd be somewhat sympathetic but I guess not
OP posts:
Original poster
bratzybaby · 13/12/2021 08:48

@Hiphopopotamus

Just to put in another point of view, though firstly to say that it’s absolutely your choice to do whatever you think is best.

But it sounds like the most traumatic bit of your birth was on the post natel ward, particularly when you were completely dependent on midwives to help you and do things for you. Having a c section basically guarantees this happening again - even as a best case, you’ll have to go on the ward and your movements and ability to care for your baby will be limited in the very short term. Although there is a risk of this with spontaneous labour and vaginal birth, there’s also the chance that it might go smoothly and you could push for a quick discharge and be home in your own bed with your baby.

It’s up to you though - maybe the planned nature of the c section will be more beneficial than the unknown of the spontaneous labour but it’s worth thinking about.

@Hiphopopotamus this is so so true! The most traumatic bit was the care on the postnatal ward because of how it effected the baby. I'm so scared to go back but this time round the visiting times are 24hrs so I'll have my birthing partner with me! I think that'll make a massive difference and reassures me that I'm not just on my own so even if there are any complications then I have someone to help me.

I think the last sentence is what the issue is. I think something planned feels like I'm in some sort of control (of course I know anything can happen at the time) instead of going into spontaneous labour and having no clue what's going to happen. I'll definitely consider that point though, thanks for raising it as I didn't even think about that

OP posts: