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Original poster

What was the shittest present you ever received?

850 replies

BrightonOrLancaster · 11/12/2021 22:52

Christmas I was 13, got a lacy training bra from an aunt I wasnt close to. WTF? I had to open it in front of family, was fucking mortified.

Birthday present from ex: dumbbells with flashing colour changing lights from ALDI. Lol. No comment

OP posts:
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5
DappyApple · 12/12/2021 10:11

I was 18 and had got together with someone around Christmas.

Come Valentine’s Day I got a rude awakening at 8 am on the Sunday morning after being out the night before with my mates. It was a delivery of a single red rose, a card and a huge box containing a black strapless evening dress (in not my size)

I was a tad confused until I showed my mum. I could see that there was something she needed to tell me. It turns out this dress was bought for his ex girlfriend. They’d had a massive bust up and she chucked it back at him.
Only the silly sod forgot that my mum worked with the pair of them and the whole thing played out in front of the whole production team!

I was mortified!

It also turns out (as I was starting to realise) that he had a drink problem. He’d been disciplined for arriving for his night shift drunk (not the first time either) after spending all afternoon in the pub and was on his way to being sacked. (he hadn’t told me this!)

I gave him what for, dumped his sorry drunken ass as I chucked the dress back at him for the second time.

But not before cutting it into ribbons so he couldn’t pass it on to his next victim!😂

WinterOfOurDiscoTent · 12/12/2021 10:11

My FiL bought me a set of nail and toenail clippers, as basic as you can get, not a fancy set or anything. DH reckons he got them in the service station on the way to visit us, they weren't wrapped. Grin

Disfordarkchocolate · 12/12/2021 10:13

A knock off watch for my 21st from my ex. With this gift he told me everything I needed to know about him and I did not listen.

amysaurus87 · 12/12/2021 10:15

Great Aunt gave me a packet of sanitary towels as a birthday present, they weren't wrapped, she literally handed them to me in front of all my family...14 year old me was mortified.

SpanielsAreMyLife · 12/12/2021 10:20

I got given a first bra at a work christmas party from Secret Santa. I was 18 years old, cripplingly shy, and there were around 70 people there including the heads of Department. My bust was around a 36FF at the time, and I always wore really baggy tops to try and hide it.

I sobbed my heart out in the toilets, and not one person checked I was OK or had a word with the man who'd got it.

Thank Christ that was 20 odd years ago and time has moved on.

CharityDingle · 12/12/2021 10:21

@mindutopia

For years, my MIL used to get me the Burts Bees gift set from Boots. I frankly hate Burts Bees, but I was gracious about it.

Then one year she was unloading the shopping from the car just as the neighbour drove past. My Burts Bees fell out the boot and neighbour RAN IT OVER with his car. She still wrapped the whole mangled box up and gave it to me though. Hmm Thankfully, Dh is on the case now and she mostly just buys me alcohol. Wine

You set up the neighbour to do that, didn't you Wink!
Annonnimoouse42 · 12/12/2021 10:22

a shitty key ring. from my DM for my 40th birthday :0(

Wowcherarestalkingme · 12/12/2021 10:27

An out of date box of teabags. I don’t drink tea.

Figgit · 12/12/2021 10:32

When I was a child, my mum’s then boss (very posh, very wealthy) gave her a dirty, second hand nightie. Gross.

honeylulu · 12/12/2021 10:35

My grandmother (RIP) was extremely tight with money and I think didn't understand the concept of inflation. One year I got a necklace she thought I'd like which she'd bought at the Church jumble sale. It looked like a lump of rock on a chain. Another year she bought beauty products from Yves Rocher (anyone remember?) where you got 5 products for £1.99. She then split the products between female relatives so we got one each. Mine was a bottle of eye makeup remover. I tried it once and promptly got eczema around my eyes. I looked like a red panda for a week. The year I started having driving lessons my mum strongly hinted to her that money towards them would be a better idea this year. Duly I received £10 in a card "to help with a few lessons". Erm ....

When she died it turned out she was actually a millionaire. We were all very surprised!

I've also received the odd obvious regift. I don't mind that in itself but sometimes there is an abject lack of effort to conceal the fact including a gift tag addressed to someone else or something that has obviously been opened, tried and rejected.

blablablack · 12/12/2021 10:36

I don't think I've had any proper awful gifts, surely I'd remember!

For me it was a secret Santa where the person obvs didn't really know me and bought me a bottle of white wine and chocs. The chocs were fine but I don't drink wine 😞 I did regift it though 😂

Jacopo · 12/12/2021 10:38

Literally a shit present, a thing called a Dung Buddy. Fashioned from dried animal dung into the shape of a hedgehog or something (can’t actually remember which creature) you were supposed to place it in your garden to slowly dissolve and fertilise your plants.

Brainwave89 · 12/12/2021 10:53

Greasy hair shampoo from an auntie when I was 13. She was actually quite nice, just thoughtless.

Thongs from my mum at 15 which I opened round the tree with everyone watching. I went purple with embarrassment. When I asked her afterwards why on earth she purchased these she said they said sports briefs, and you are very sporty.....

Funnylittlefloozie · 12/12/2021 10:55

I really like the cowboy potato set! I want to make my jacket potatoes look like little cowboys.

The foster parent who was so vilely abusive to the poor PP....well, I hope the evil bitch rots in hell.

imovethestarsforno1 · 12/12/2021 10:59

the first birthday i had after we'd got together bf got me a marmite branded thermos because "you really like marmite". Hes now my DH and his present giving has improved. His mother lastcyear got me a kit to needle felt cactus's Husband declared it was because she thought i was a prick oh how i laughed.

NotMeekNotObedient · 12/12/2021 11:00

A brown shiny plastic Puma Handbag when I was about 15 which absolutely reeked of cigarettes - so bad we had to bin it. I guess the thought was there kind of, it was pretty hideous without the smell though!

And this feels so tame compared to a roll of sellotape Hmm. I think that one wins!

Ghoulette · 12/12/2021 11:00

Its a close one between the vibrator I got, from my step mother, on my 18th birthday which I had to open in front of family (and close family friends) or the tennis racket they got me after asking me what I wanted (Radley handbag, it was in budget and we picked it out together) and not bothering getting it.

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 12/12/2021 11:04

Received pack of lacy g-strings from my gran when I was about 13. Don't think she realized they were thongs.

Fake Gucci handbag from FiL from a Turkish market. Literally fell apart as I unwrapped it. Never used. Since then his gift giving as significantly improved.

A remote control holder. Well intentioned, but no.... ended up donating it to an am dram props department.

OwlIceCrem · 12/12/2021 11:06

For my early December birthday I once received a Christmas planner- with spaces to take photos of your decorations and print out so you could put them in exactly the same place the following year, pages to write in menus, card lists etc. It wasn’t even new- the elastic band round the front was loose. I was more offended that they thought I had such a massive stick up my arse (and endless free time to worry about such shit) that this was something I might actually use.

dustandfluf · 12/12/2021 11:06

Half used body wash, de-icer & some old cookie cutters (off my mother) found in my dead grandmas garage. It was a bad year for all of us - my mother almost died, my step father went bankrupt and we ended up loosing our family home.

YorkshirePuddingsGreatestFan · 12/12/2021 11:09

My ex said in advance that he was going to buy me a new microwave oven for Christmas.

I already had a perfectly good microwave that was working fine and didn't need replacing.

When I politely suggested that I didn't need a new microwave and pointed out that Boots had a good offer on a Sanctuary Spa set and I love their stuff, he flew off the handle and I got nothing as a punishment for being ungrateful Confused

Jng1 · 12/12/2021 11:11

Two of the same hardback book I'd asked for (because DH was too lazy to liaise with our adult children about who was buying what).

A food processor - from DH in the early years of our marriage (he still gets told what an awful present it was).

KateyKontent · 12/12/2021 11:13

Nothing.

DH and DC received large cheques, which was nice. It was awkwardly presented and I was invited from the presentation. . It was the year DH was made redundant and I was the only one working. I saved and bought 100% of their presents. Did me a favour, I don't buy them anything anymore, totally DH's dept.

ddl1 · 12/12/2021 11:17

I haven't had too many awful presents - maybe getting the same book from the same person two Christmases running. I wouldn't have much minded (we all get confused about what we gave people a year ago), except that it was called something like 'Cookery for Beginners' and came across as a hint that I should be doing more about learning to cook better.

ANY birthday present is, however, an awful present for me, as I am violently allergic to my birthday and wish never to be reminded of it. I will excuse people who genuinely don't know that I hate my birthday (though such people usually won't know when it is anyway); but not people who deliberately disregard my wishes on the subject. Hasn't happened recently, however.

But my best/worst 'awful present' story was merely as an observer of threatened awful presents. Some years ago, I was with a couple, who were friends of my cousin, when they suddenly realized at about 7 p.m. that it was her birthday. They insisted that she had to get a present from them on the day, and asked me to accompany them to the only nearby shop that was open at that time, which happened to be the pharmacy. In the end they got her a soap-and-scent set - probably not her dream present but OK. But in the meantime, the man pointed out a very garish lipstick, and said they should buy it. When I pointed out that my cousin did not wear much make-up, and when she did it was of a quite discreet sort, he said, 'But surely the whole point of a present is to get someone something that they wouldn't get for themselves!' They must have enjoyed my rather horrified expression, as their next suggestion was Brylcreem!

donkeymcdonkface · 12/12/2021 11:20

@DorothyZbornakIsAQueen

I once got a fridge magnet off an in-law, with a poem on about a donkey threatening to kill me.

That was strange. I still have it for some reason.

Ah now I would love that! Is it the Edward Monkton 'beware the deadly donkey falling from the sky'? I have the keyring!!!!! And the mug thinking about it .........