What was the shittest present you ever received?

[BrightonOrLancaster]

Christmas I was 13, got a lacy training bra from an aunt I wasnt close to. WTF? I had to open it in front of family, was fucking mortified.

Birthday present from ex: dumbbells with flashing colour changing lights from ALDI. Lol. No comment

A door knob. For a chest of drawers…. Just one knob.

Starting to think there was more to it than just a gift 😂

A packet of jaffa cakes last Christmas, really glad I spent £20 on her present

My mother in law quite often gets me something like one random coloured handtowel or an oven mit. My ex's mum once 'bought' me an obviously second hand food processor with no blades.

As a child/ teenager, frilly fussy dresses that didn't suit me and had fussy buttons that, with my co-ordination difficulties, I found hard to manage. As a student, being given the same book by the same person on two successive Christmases- I wouldn't have minded except that it was called something like 'Cookery for Beginners', so started to feel like a 'dig' at me. As an adult, ANY birthday present, as I am utterly birthday phobic and can't bear to have the occasion acknowledged in any way (fortunately most people don't know when it is).

Crockery for 24 people for my First Holy Communion. White with a gold edge, according to my maternal grandmother so I had a set when I got married. In my 40's, not married and no intention to.
My sister got the same but with a silver edge so we could "see which is which".
Both ended up at a traditional German pre-wedding thing where guests smash up old crockery for good luck.

@Fairislefandango

Mostly hilarious thread apart from the awful parent ones, but the posts I find depressing are the 'My dp/dh always got me shit abd thoughtless presents, so now I get my own presents and he pays'. If a partner can't be arsed to get his head around what you like after years together, that should tell you something about him! 'I'm just no good at presents' is a pathetic excuse imo.

My worst present was a little lacy nightwear/underwear item from my uncle when I was in my early teens. Fortunately I only opened it in front of my parents and dsis and we all thought it was hilarious. He had form for odd presents but got better at it once he had dc himself!

Disagree (with first paragraph). Admittedly sometimes a bad present is just one sign that someone doesn't really know me/ bother to know me; but if it's just about being bad with presents, I think that's unimportant compared with how they treat me EVERY day.

The exception is if they give me 'not me' presents with the deliberate intention of trying to get me to change in some way.

but if it's just about being bad with presents, I think that's unimportant compared with how they treat me EVERY day.

Yes but why are they bad with presents? It's presumably not a genetic trait, so why can't they just listen, pay attention, )if necessary take notes!) and damn well get better at it?! I mean... I reckon I could jot down in about 2 minutes an idiot's guide to what kind of presents I like to receive. How hard can it be to know or find out what yiur partner of umpteen years likes?

Yes, maybe it's not always an indication that they are generally thoughtless or incompetent (though it often is, going by the threads about this issue), but honestly - how hard can it really be to know or find out what your partner of umpteen years likes?

Lacy size 14 knickers from my (now ex) DH. Not normally an awful thing but at the time I weighed less than 6stone and was suffering from a serious run in with anorexia.

Bastard.

My ex didn't buy me a Christmas present one year. He said "It's because you haven't been good enough".
Apparently, my home cooking for his (difficult) mother and very greedy brother had been found lacking in their eyes.

He later told me that they'd brought a packed lunch and flasks of tea, because they knew they wouldn't get a decent meal . .

I left him (and them) the following year.

I suppose I just don't regard present-giving as terribly important in the grand scheme of things, especially for an adult who can buy things for themselves. I don't mean that I don't appreciate nice presents, or don't like to give presents myself; but I wouldn't judge a relationship by the quality of the present-giving. Unless it was truly extreme (e.g. earrings from someone who knew I don't have pierced ears or wish to; very garish lipstick).

That being said, I would hold it against someone who forced on me something that I'd said I didn't want. In particular, I would be very upset if they insisted on inflicting my birthday on me against my expressed wishes, and, if they did it more than once, it would be a deal-breaker.

@Astrak

My ex didn't buy me a Christmas present one year. He said "It's because you haven't been good enough". Apparently, my home cooking for his (difficult) mother and very greedy brother had been found lacking in their eyes. He later told me that they'd brought a packed lunch and flasks of tea, because they knew they wouldn't get a decent meal . . I left him (and them) the following year.

My God! Who did he think he was, Santa Claus? And who did he think you were, the kitchen maid? Good for you, leaving him and his ghastly family!

My [ex] husband bought me one of those metal clothes line poles AND he wrapped it!!!!

I was given a weird bendy plastic doll on a black plinth for a milestone birthday. Passive-aggressive gifting at its finest. So I just chucked it in the bin.

I was once gifted a half eaten tube of pringles for Christmas and my MIL gave us an old towel with holes in for our cotton wedding anniversary

From my mother-in law:

A squirrel shaped toothpick holder for my 1 year old daughter.

40 year old unused Y front pants also for my daughter.

Slender tone shorts from my now Ex!!

Knitted socks from my mother. They were neon pink and a lurid green. I didn’t wear them. It was my only Christmas present that year as she apparently forgot to buy me anything. While my brothers and sisters were opening computer games and consoles she was counting out her change and passed me £3.50 to make it up to me. I didn’t accept.

I was used to crap presents from her though. She regularly used to buy me back scratchers, incense and candles (of which I’ve ever been a fan) and one year I got a used cheese knife.

I bet it's The Deadly Donkey by Edward Monkton

That was to @NannyOggsWhiskyStash obvs

@PurpleSproutingSomething

That was to *@NannyOggsWhiskyStash* obvs

Thanks, that is a truly strange motto for a fridge magnet, I quite like it!

A pair of American tights. Still in the box, but grubby and battered. I think they were at least 30 denier. From my very dearest beloved Muvver in law. She arrived for Christmas, without her husband (who was SUCH a nice man) and she stayed until bloody March!! FFS! She inspected my plugholes and expected 3 cooked meals a day. And complained that I didn't "spend enough time" with her. Between her, three children under 8 and her bloody son who is exactly like her, and cooking 3 meals a day, I do not apologise. I was thankful to be out of her firing line. Think Hyacinth Bucket. Gosh, that's well outing! Who gives a s**t, she's no longer with us and my plugholes are my own again!

Sorry. Bit of a rant!

Oh! AND! A lime green bra, still grubby. Wrapped in, wait for it, a brown paper bag like the ones we used to get from a Greengrocer, back in the day (showing my age). It was the wrong size, of course. This was my mother, for my birthday. I still don't know quite what to say about that. Why is it, that these people have the audacity to do these things, and think that it will be forgiven/forgotten about? I don't know if it was bought from a charity shop and laid in wait for my birthday, or, if as I suspect, Mommy Dearest had forgotten it was my birthday and retrieved a bra of her own? Whatever. I said thank you and dropped it into her dustbin on the way out. Grubby Little Oik. Sorry, rant over.

OH! AND! An ex partner, buying me a Talking Book for Christmas. Apparently, I could play it in the car, on my CD player thing. Great. Except my CD player was on permanent shuffle, and because there was something not quite right with it, it meant that I might get Chapter 31 first, then Chapter 6 and so on and so forth. I was told "you are SO ungrateful" !!! I would have liked the chapters to start from 1 and progress. Bearing in mind, that he'd tried, unsuccessfully, to fix the CD player and was aware of the problems. Sorry. Rant over. Again.

OH! AND!! Gorgeous underwear, bought for me by my ex partner, for Christmas. Completely the wrong size. It had no bearing on my size, at all. He appeared to be quite ... not distressed, that's not the word. Upset? Not happy?
Not happy that he'd got it so wrong.
Unfortunately (for him) I was sent home from work after being stung in the eye, I looked like I'd been punched. I got home early, and there he was, in all his (my?) glory, in the underwear that he'd bought for me. Strangely, it fitted him perfectly!
Rant over. I promise. I think.