What was the shittest present you ever received?

[BrightonOrLancaster]

Christmas I was 13, got a lacy training bra from an aunt I wasnt close to. WTF? I had to open it in front of family, was fucking mortified.

Birthday present from ex: dumbbells with flashing colour changing lights from ALDI. Lol. No comment

A seatbelt cutter (don’t drive), rape alarm and a knuckle duster 🤔 Was hard to muster up a thank you for those weird offerings.

I got a few shits presents from my sister one year for my birthday I got a bottle of cheap-looking rose perfume she told me she bought it because she liked the look of the bottle she had no idea what it smelt like it smelt like old lady piss its still sat in the bag I have never worn it that same year my Christmas present was a pack of cheap shit nail varnish I don’t wear nail varnish I do gel nails it's still in my cupboard unused what made it worse was that I had put together a gift basket for her filled with bath stuff that she liked and handmade candles. Another year I was out shopping with her in Tesco with her a couple of days before Christmas she picked up a gift set that she then wrapped up for me she sat there and said to me don’t act too excited you were with me when I bought and seemed to find that funny I never. I have learnt my lesson and now don’t put any effort into a present for her because I know I’m going to end up with something rubbish.

@StormBaby

As a child my mum would save up and buy me quite a lavish gift(CD Walkman, a keyboard, a camera), then the week after she’d take it back for a refund. It was all just for show on the big day.

The worst gift was a secret Santa at work. We were all forced to sit in a circle at a Xmas buffet and unwrap. Someone had given me an Ann Summers ‘Sexy Elf’ costume, about four sizes too small. I don’t think I’ve ever been so embarrassed.

God this is really upsetting. I hope you have someone now who makes you feel special x

When I was about 18 I had asked for an Aran cream jumper, a pair of moccasin slippers and leather gloves from my family. My Nan bought me lurid pink velour granny slippers with Velcro and fake fur round the top. She had also had her friend knit me an Aran jumper in the smelliest wool and it was so misshapen no human could wear it. Instead of elegant ladies leather gloves my DF bought me a pair of black leather men’s gloves piped with red and with holes cut out over the knuckles. I put the whole ensemble on, slippers, gloves and jumper and my mum nearly keeled over laughing! At least they tried I suppose!

My partner got me a bicarbonate of soda tub as a stocking filler this year. Not sure what was going through his mind.

@pinkpirlie

My partner got me a bicarbonate of soda tub as a stocking filler this year. Not sure what was going through his mind.

You're sure it's not coke?! 😂

@BigYellowHat

A seatbelt cutter (don’t drive), rape alarm and a knuckle duster 🤔 Was hard to muster up a thank you for those weird offerings.

Maybe they have overheard kidnap plans from other family members, but didn't want to take sides 🤨

@Alcemeg
I wish, it came with a sachet of cream of tartar too.
He said he was just picking up random things in pound land - I just don't understand why he would think anyone would want a tub of bicarb as a present!

I cringe at the memories of presents I gave as a child - I thought they were so great at the time but in hindsight I understand why DM and my father were a bit meh, WTF.
I gave my DM a nice green plastic platter so she can put the cakes on it. It cracked as I managed to step on it while we were handing out presents from under the tree.
I'm not sorry about giving my heavy smoker father a mouthwash for smokers - must have been around 8 and thought it was a very reasonable present.
I still remember being pretty devastated when I wanted to give a performance of a Christmas song to my family as a present. I saw myself singing and them enjoying it but I was stopped well in advance and told I had no good singing voice and was mocked when I tried to sing a bit. I know that I really can't sing but my 12-old me was really deeply hurt.

@EerieSilence
You were singing out of love...if the audience couldn't appreciate this then that's on them. The Angels were listening to your sweet voice singing a Christmas song...keep singing with all your heart ❤
The fact that you wanted to give something says much about what a thoughtful, unselfish person you are, Eerie.
You are amazing. I'm sorry they deeply hurt you.

@SwtPeasOnEarth, in all fairness, I can imagine an AIBU on Mumsnet:

"My 12y old decided to sing a Christmas carol for the family on Christmas Day as a present. The problem is that she is tone-deaf and has no voice.
AIBU to tell her that or should I be kind and just grin and bear it?"

In all fairness, DD has a pleasant voice but she's a bit tone-deaf. We still let her sing, only gave her slight hints at how to start (not too high) and we really glad she wanted to perform for us.

@EerieSilence
Awwww, that warms my heart!
It's so wonderful you have been able to stop the cycle of being an unappreciative parent!

My DD 38 was tone deaf as a child...turns out she has auditory dyslexia and has a hard time hearing hear sounds and reproducing them...you'd never know it though...she's come up with adapting strategies to learn them, and she can even sing on key now.

BTW, I'm sure if there'd been an AIBU about a tone deaf child trying to sing for her family, the collective claws of all the mother bears on MN would have come out and told the poster they were very mean!

BTW, have you tried a duet with your daughter

We did, it confuses the poor dog a lot
In all fairness, it's not so bad, when you can learn from your memories and make sure the circle of hurt doesn't repeat.
My story certainly pales when compared to others. There's so much abusive dynamics in many families, I laughed at many stories but there were more where I felt very sad for the posters.

MIL handed me a gift card with a receipt that showed it had been bought 1/2 hr before she gave it to me, together with an unwritten birthday card still in the plastic.
To be fair, it could be worse and I just kept the card to give to someone else but it was just so thoughtless. She could have taken 2 mins to write the birthday card in the car before arriving at our house!

@EerieSilence
You are so right.😭

I've posted this before, but there's something about me and Secret Santa that means we just do not fare well together.

I've done it 3 times,2 different workplaces.

Year 1, I got nothing. I'd not been at the company long and had got an indian woman who was always very glamourous and wore lots of ornate hair accessories-I'd gone slightly over budget and bought her some lovely hair accessories and a (costume but pretty) bracelet.

The new guy who got me just stared at me blankly when I asked why he hadn't got me anything. Nobody did/said anything to him or about it at all!

Second year,different company. Only four of us did it.
I bought the guy I got a packet of sobrani cocktail cigarettes. He was young, a heavy smoker and always out and about in swanky places.

The organiser asked why he hadn't got me anything and he said he had't finished work until 2100 the night before (we worked alternate late/early shifts). She responded but he hadn't started until 0100, why couldn't he have got me something in the morning? Blank look.

I gave the cigarettes to my lovely boss who was much more deserving of them! (I don't smoke, but y'know, they were nice if you did)!

Year three, same company. I can't remember what I bought mine but I always try to be really thoughtful. I got-a box of brown hair dye-the kind you find for £1.99 in cheap shops.

It was a standing joke that I dyed my hair odd colours. I was quite alternative back then. Nobody else got a joke present, nor a cheap one.
That was about 13 years ago and I have vowed never to do a SS again- and I've stuck to it!

BobISMyUncle Thank you for making me sick covid-infected self feel a tad better!Hilarious-but I am sorry you had to go through all that.

An iron off my now EX HUSBAND...for my 30th birthday! I thought it was a 'joke' present...and that there was something lovely coming later perhaps...there wasn't 😦

Every year DW's Nan gives us a 900g truckle of cheddar that has been stored in her house (not refrigerated) for at least a month before Christmas.
I don't want to be ungrateful but, I usually buy good quality vintage cheddar and really resent every crumb of the mild sweaty stuff that comes covered in wax......food waste is criminal though!

Not me but my mum back in the 80's. She had been hinting to my dad for ages about a fur coat she had seen that she really wanted. Christmas morning arrived and she was excitedly unwrapped his gift only to find a toy paddington bear, she was gutted!! Not sure she even liked Paddington and my dad was usually so good at presents!

A vest size 14, I'm a 10!
Box of quality street
Wooden Qtips
Ive unwrapped a lot of crap over the years, the list is endless
This year I did get a good one, meowie Bowie tree ornament off my niece, I love it soooo much.

One year DH got me nothing. I said we weren't doing presents but a chocolate orange would have done (not these days though as they now taste disgusting). Thankfully he more than makes up for it these days and is very generous (too afraid not to be I think 😂).

Last year for Christmas, as my only present, my mother got me a breast cancer organisation diary filled with advice aimed at menopausal women. We don’t live in the same country so the public holiday and other important dates weren’t relevant.

I’m in my 30s and was trying for a child.

@Bagelsandbrie

My mil (who we now don’t speak to for various reasons, nothing to do with the upcoming shit present mentioned) once got me a set of silver western style spurs and little cowboy hats to fit on jacket potatoes so they look like little cowboys.

I don't have the words , can't stop laughing at this. Will never see jacket spuds in the same way again

Many years ago my boyfriend bought me a 'baby's first Christmas ' teddy the day after I had a termination. I was devastated, he thought it was hilarious. I was 18 & living with him at his parents house. This set the tone for our relationship for the next 10 years until I finally summoned up the courage to leave him.