What was the shittest present you ever received?

[BrightonOrLancaster]

Christmas I was 13, got a lacy training bra from an aunt I wasnt close to. WTF? I had to open it in front of family, was fucking mortified.

Birthday present from ex: dumbbells with flashing colour changing lights from ALDI. Lol. No comment

One year I asked my husband to get me some pyjamas and sent him the link. They were matching top and bottoms sold separately. On Christmas Day, it transpired he'd only bought me the top, as they didn't have the bottoms in my size!!!

@Catra

This ginger cat bog roll holder.

That's hilarious! So bad it's good!

@AliTheMinx

A new toilet flush Shampoo for Extra Greasy Hair Mama Mia on DVD...

The Mama Mia DVD would make me go NC straightaway tbh

My MIL once bought my 11 yr old son a video of ‘Jimmy Tarbuck’s Golfing Nightmares’, with Jimmy, dressed in full Pringle gear, brandishing a golf club, and grimacing underneath a big yellow, cartoon streak of lightning, on the cover.

We kept it for years, just to show visitors .

Sorry Peeps. Rant over. Mostly.

OH! An audio book thing!!!!! My most favourite book. Fucking dweeb. He'd set my CD player on shuffle and refused to show me how to change it. And got cross, because I tried to explain that because it was on shuffle, I might get chapter 6 first. Then chapter 1. Or chapter 4. You get the idea. He was most offended. Not as offended as I was! He also bought me underwear. I don't even know what to say about that.

Lime green. 34AA. I was 28AAA. I think. I do know that Pete the Postman had bigger boobs than me. Sadly, the lime green thing was after the fucking bright purple thing. I have no idea what size that was. I had to wear that under my white school shirt.
YAY!! I don't wear a bra at all now!!
I've had a boob job! It's all in proportion, I was very careful about that. I am the happiest ever. No more shitty snide things. I am being me!!!! Yay!!

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

I remember verily happily receiving blank VHS tapes in circa 1989

Me too!

Sorry, got the denier wrong. The tights were well thick, Not thick enough, to contain Auntie Anne. When she came to visit, I had to sit on the floor because we didn't have enough furniture. We did, but only if Auntie Anne wasn't sitting on it. Please, oh please, don't EVER sit on the floor, in front of Auntie Anne.
I don't think her legs have ever crossed or met. I remember, her dress, (she only ever wore a dress) that was above her knees, and her, sitting in the chair that I had to sit in front of. I remember the horrified fascination! Auntie Anne is dead. Uncle Peter is dead. He liked Auntie Anne.

Out of date coffee pods that had been languishing in gift giver’s cupboard for years

Or a leopard print blouse several sizes too big

I'm thankful that I've never received any really bad gifts. One though that springs to mind, it wasn't terrible, but very random. A macaroni dish. Fair enough if I made macaroni on a regular basis, but I don't and a terrible cook maybe it was a hint Did make me chuckle. Tbf it has become quite useful over the years 😅

@librarian55

Not the worst present, but when I was 7 months pregnant, EVERYBODY bought me the same thing, a toiletry bag with shampoo, soap, etc. I hate when people are ungrateful for a present but by the time I opened the 6th one, I was ready to cry.

Actually not everybody, my bitch of an older sister didn't buy me anything because she had decided only to buy for DCs. Mine had not been born yet so none of us got anything. Meanwhile I had bought for her, her DH and her two DDs.

Got one of these from SIL: www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jul/15/kitchen-gadgets-review-egg-master-horrifying-unholy-affair

If the review wasn’t off putting enough, nephew put a snotty finger inside it while it was being admired by everyone. There was no way it was being used after that. We still have it at the back of the cupboard because dp thinks it’s mean to get rid of a gift.

Ex bought me a slow cooker. A fucking slow cooker. I would have launched it at him had it not been for his lovely parents sitting close by. I had bought him an 18ct gold dog tag that I'd had personally engraved. C@#t.

@allotmentgardener

Ex bought me a slow cooker. A fucking slow cooker. I would have launched it at him had it not been for his lovely parents sitting close by. I had bought him an 18ct gold dog tag that I'd had personally engraved. C@#t.

I bought dh a coffee machine for Xmas last year. Now I feel his gratitude was fake! Also I wouldn't have minded him buying me a slow cooker or similar for Xmas lol.

@MsLup

Last Christmas when my Husband 'hinted' he was having an affair. It was our first festive period in 25 years without family and friends due to Covid lockdown rules. We had just moved, I was totally isolated and had gone all out to make it special as there was just the two of us and he spent Christmas day sitting on sofa opposite to me glued to his phone texting another woman. Took the spineless b*stard until New Year's day to admit he had been having an affair for 3 months. Broke my heart into a million pieces and Christmas will never be the same again.

I'm so sorry this happened to you please have faith, it can be the same again. I found out exH was having an affair on NYE. He'd been texting her all Christmas. My Christmases are lovely again, and yours will be too

Flashpaper, many thanks and so sorry you were in same boat but glad it worked out for you eventually. A Merry Christmas x

My MIL bought my other half 10 portions of fresh fish for his birthday, which is a nice gesture. Except she rang me to say that I had to stay in all day on my day off to receive delivery so they didn't go off and that because we should eat some straight away that we should cancel our plan to go out for dinner whilst they babysat (we were desperate for a date night having been stuck in with our toddler throughout lockdown, which had just lifted). I do the cooking in our house, so the gift also came with that bonus for me, and the added pressure that this was 'special birthday fish' so I had to find a nice recipe to make with it (and go and buy the extra ingredients). I also had to find space in our tiny freezer for everything we couldn't eat in 2 days and some of it is still languishing there two years later! She meant well, but it was SUCH an annoying present 🤯

A pair of washing up gloves with a plastic diamond ring attached!!

My BIL and SIL give us a calendar with pictures of them and their kids on random beach walks and two mugs with pictures of their kids every year without fail. 😳

@Catra

This ginger cat bog roll holder.

Oh gosh 😍 gorgeous!!!

Agent Prov. underwear that was a hideus orange colour and clearly bought because he liked it, not because I would.

The strap snapped as soon as I tried to put it on (I may have been a bit forceful!) so I took it back for a refund and bought a camera bag with the money.

We then split up 3 months later.

My ex got me a cast iron door knocker one year.. now, if I had a door to put it on I would have loved it (we were renting) I kept it anyway thinking if we ever got our own place we would have a wooden door and I could attach it. Kind of romantic when you look at it that way.. But that never happened and I've got no idea where my door knocker is.. I'm still renting anyway (different place) It was very pretty though so not the worst present I suppose, I just couldnt use it.. bit like getting someone windscreen washer when they dont have a car. 🤷‍♀️

I put my knocker on my shed