to put a complaint in about my pre term birth

[Candyss]

hello,

my son was born at 27 weeks, completely unexpectedly. he came home 2 weeks ago and, aside from requiring a bit of home oxygen, has as far as we can tell come out fairly okay.

Now everything has settled down and we are out of the neonatal unit I'm starting to feel a lot of anger towards the situation.

I went in the day before I had him with bleeding. I was left for over 3 hours, was briefly checked and told no active bleeding, cervix closed and sent on my way, assured that it was normal to bleed occasionally in the second/third trimester. no scan or anything. their test to check for pre term labour also came back negative which they assured me meant I would definitley not be having my baby in the next 2 weeks.

the following day, I woke up with a lot of back pain. I rung up, again assured this is a normal part of pregnancy and putting extra weight on etc. due to this and the tests and checks day before, I ignored the pain until it got to 7pm and I was in so much agony I could barely walk. my dad rushed me to the hospital, although the hospital actually told me they were busy and to wait until 9pm. I couldnt wait. when I got there, they made me walk down the corridor to do a urine sample, then told me I was fine and had a urine infection, that was all. they said they would check the baby just to be sure. hooked up - baby fine. doctor eventually comes round to check me out and low and behold. my cervix is totally gone and my son is breech - they can see the water bag with his feet in it and I will be having my son that night, which I did via emergency c section.

He was whisked off to another hospital at a more intensive unit. I was put on a ward at the hospital I'd given birth in. when I came round from recovery I'd been put on a ward with other mums who all had their full term babies with them. I didnt even know if my son was okay.

I just feel so sad and let down now. I don't know why they didnt listen to me when I called, I dont know why they didnt scan me or check me properly the day I went in with bleeding. I didnt even have time to have the steroids to help his lungs. I'm not saying they could of stopped me having him early or that we would have got to full term. but atleast I could of had the steroids earlier. atleast they could of prolonged it.

my partner wants to put in a complaint but I dont know if it's worth doing. it wont change what happened :'(

Please raise a complaint so they can learn. Nobody listened to me with Dd1 and they tried to send me home. I refused to leave and dh demanded a second opinion because he knew me and if I wasn’t in labour then something was wrong… second opinion was in the form of a registrar who discovered I was 10cm and not in a delivery room and had been refused any pain relief after being told it was early stages and I was being dramatic! Registrar shouted at the stunned midwife and Dd was in my arms 25 minutes later. The actual birth was fairly text book if they’d actually listened to me! Instead I was left traumatised and in shock. I only had a second pregnancy after a consultant confirmed in writing that I could choose a csection and it would be supported due to previous experience. (2nd pg was twins and they were breach so csection was the only option anyway).

Sorry, meant to say; my second birth was very healing but 13 years on I’m still cross. My dm had the same experience with db but assumed that from 1980 to 2008 they would be able to pick up better on the signs.

I would definitely make a complaint - mostly about the care previous to the c-section. Unfortunately being put on a ward with other mothers with their healthy babies is par for the course… I’ve had two very premature babies (and was very poorly myself both times). I was on the normal post natal horrendous ward for two weeks each time. Another friend had similar in a totally different hospital. I did raise the point with them both times, but it just doesn’t seem to be something they’re that fussed about to unfortunately… but the fact they hadn’t assessed you fully the first time is absolutely complaint worthy.

I agree with everything @Tronkmanton says.

I had a preemie and much of what you describe was the same as my experience. It is all very raw right now and you will be all over the place. Contact Bliss to find support in your area, arrange to have a debrief with your consultant, and think about what you would have wanted them to do differently and raise that with them.

Post natal care for preemie mums is awful and it needs to change. They need to know what they can improve.

Focus on your little boy and being mum. The “what ifs” will go away eventually, try not to focus on them right now.

Hi op. Congratulations for your new bundle of joy despite its being rough at start. I think you should complIn maybe next time it can change the experience for another new mum

@Motheroftigers

Complain, complain and complain.

I work with pregnant women and tbh they have been treated awful during the past 18 months.

Midwives have always had a reluctance to listen to woken when they say something is happening. I got told with my last one I wasn't in labour and was ordered to get on the bed by a pissed off midwife who was shocked I was 7cm dilated. Apparently I wasn't out of breath enough for her to believe me.

What what happened to you could have cost your baby its life. Lessons need to be learned here.

Similar to me- sent home as I wasn’t in Labour- returned by ambulance a few hours later, fully dilated . First baby- lucky I didn’t panic but my birth was horrid everything I didn’t want. Delivered with my husband just in the room after an 80 mph speed dash. Brushed off by midwife who disappeared leaving me torn in my own blood for ages.

I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I would strongly recommend using the birth listening/ after thoughts service.

With my second, I wrote to PALS to question something (so not a complaint as such) and a person specialising in patient relationships contacted me and talked me through the entire process. It was a completely different situation from yours, but similar in that they did all the tests to rule GDM out and then it transpired I did have it at 37 weeks.

PALS should be helpful whether you complain or not. I contacted them after my first was admitted to A&E under the wrong name at 6 days old and had the ward manager (who was shitting herself) call me back and explain what steps were taken to avoid a repeat.

I also agree with a PP that you might find the outcome would still have been the same even if you had been listened to. That is not to minimise how you feel, but sometimes shitty things just happen for no reasons. It hurts when you're not listened to though. Wishing you lots of strength.

it was just the complete lack of care. I cant fault the neonatal unit who looked after my son but I recieved no kindness at all - not before, not after.

I dont want anyone to go through what I did but if they do, atleast not made to feel like a huge inconvenience and a drama queen. noone should be treated like that, especially not in such a vulnerable state. I'm sorry to hear some of the other stories too, it needs to be better :(

I wasn't preterm but had a really awful experience with my first birth. I was induced despite the midwife noting I was having mills contractions when I was hooked up to the monitor. (I couldn't feel them). I went from 0-100 in a matter of about half an hour. I was having contractions with at best about a minute in between. I was also left on my own as DH had been sent home as it was late and last visiting hours. I buzzed the nurse and asked if it was meant to be so bad and she just said yeah. I got the impression she thought I was exaggerating and being a baby. I asked for pain relief and was given some paracetamol and then they said I could have a bath. I was left alone on a bath for around 3 hours in agony, vomiting from the pain. By the time they actually bothered hooking me up to a monitor she said, oh, you ARE over contracting, we'd better take the pessary out. it was too late and by that point it just kept going and they eventually called my husband and took me to labour ward but only after about 7 hours of being left. Things went from bad to worse but that I think was unrelated. My point of sharing all this is, absolutely complain. It's a massive regret of mine that I didn't. The main thing though is don't feel your emotions are silly or not valid. I actually ended up having counselling to get over the trauma of what happened and help me process all my feelings. Please look after yourself and make sure you seek support to process this. Sending love and ok so glad your baby is doing ok despite what happened. X

Definitely complain

I suggest you book a follow up appointment with your GP to get a debrief of what actually happened. Your GP will need your hospital notes, so make sure you tell the surgery when you make your appointment. I did this after a traumatic delivery and it really helped me.

I'm so sorry you went through this. It sounds awful.

Please complain, so other women don't to experience such woeful care.

I also think you should put in a complaint. My friend had a baby who was born with the cord around his neck without breathing, luckily he survived but she was put in a ward with all the mummies with their babies while her baby was fighting for his life. It's appalling.

@bloodywhitecat

Put in a complaint. It won't change what happened to you but it might save someone else going through the same trauma. I am so sorry you were treated that way.

This 100%

@Candyss

and being put on a ward with other mums and their babies, well that just about cemented the trauma that I will probably live with for the rest of my life and every time I look at my son, with the awful thoughts of what could of been and the rough start he had.

I remember that as I had the same situation,it was just awful. Fortunately there were private rooms and I was moved to one but I honestly believe that contributed to horrific PND and PTSD.

It's really worth have some counselling and sooner rather than later if possible. I left it years and wish I'd had it sooner x

I had a difficult birth and didn't put a complaint in and really wish I had. It's taken me a long time to accept things and I'm not even sure I really have. If nothing else it will hopefully give you some closure.

** and definitely complain

@WineIsAFruitRight were you in Glasgow? I have heard of two similar births (in past five years or so) where mums were left alone in the bath for hours. Neither could get out of the bath, neither had phones nor emergency buzzer within reach. Both went on to have traumatic births.

You absolutely have cause for complaint. Your treatment was a disgrace. It will make them review their procedures or lack of them and might help somebody else. Glad to hear your DS is doing OK.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you OP. It sounds like a very traumatic experience. Was he your first baby? My DD (my first) was born 5 weeks ago and I found I was dismissed quite often on the grounds of it being my first baby/labour and therefore my instincts were not valid or reliable! A friend had a similar experience at a different hospital.

Does your trust offer a birth reflection service? Might help to heal some of your trauma. That aside, I think it is definitely not unreasonable for you to formally complain.

YANBU, that is absolutely awful. I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience ❤️

100% complain. The outcome could have been different and although you can't change what happened you can stop it happening to another person.. Congratulations on your son.

Maternity services get away with a lot because we are too tired and busy to complain with a newborn.

I should have complained so many times and didn't. It's a huge regret of mine.

I could have lost ds1 if I'd listened to them.

I'm so sorry for your experience.

@Motheroftigers

Complain, complain and complain.

I work with pregnant women and tbh they have been treated awful during the past 18 months.

Midwives have always had a reluctance to listen to woken when they say something is happening. I got told with my last one I wasn't in labour and was ordered to get on the bed by a pissed off midwife who was shocked I was 7cm dilated. Apparently I wasn't out of breath enough for her to believe me.

What what happened to you could have cost your baby its life. Lessons need to be learned here.

Thankfully this hasn't been my experience. I had a baby 3 weeks ago and the midwives were wonderful. I also had numerous reduced movement episodes during my pregnancy and I was taken very seriously and never made to feel like I was wasting their time. I know the NHS is stretched beyond belief but at my local hospital even though they were rushed off their feet they were attentive and supportive. It's really sad that not everyone has this experience.

What I can tell you is that steroids need to be given quite sometime before birth to make any difference. I don’t know how long but it’s definitely more than a few hours and could be days. There is also nothing they can do to stop you going into labour or even prolong it (unless things have radically changed)

While I agree with this poster that premature birth takes a long time to process, and that you should be kind to yourself as it was out of your hands, I'm sorry but I'd have to disagree with this part. I think the intent is really important, so they could have at least started with some measures like steroids just in case it helped. Also, I would argue the aim would be to slow down or pause labour if possible. I had a stitch put in 10 years ago when I was 6cm dilated that bought us about a week. I also had progesterone which was to slow labour. It was still an awful outcome in the end, but I'm sure it meant one of my sons survived, and it gave time for me to have the steroid injections. While it may not be possible to work miracles, I think there's a big gap between sending the OP home in a dismissive manner, to at least chucking everything they had in their toolkit at it.

I suppose my point is that it isn't OP's job to know exactly what medical help should have been available to her. I wouldn't go into the complaints process thinking there was nothing they could do, now OP has made a complaint I would be asking them what is their best practice and what they should have been doing.

to all the families on this thread who've been through these truly crappy experiences though. It's awful in different ways for different people.