To think after 40yrs mum should be able to know the difference between me and my twin

[EnrouteNOTonroute]

It’s infuriating. We’re not even identical.
It’s just laziness to to lump us in together as one identity. I’ve had a lifetime of it and I’m sick of it.

Do you dress the same? My mum confuses me with my auntie, my half sister and her husband. I’d have no chance if I was a twin

God OP, you sound just like your sister.

Sounds like my Dad, there are three years and several dress sizes between me and my sister but he often struggles to tell who is who.

No we don’t dress the same. We’re have the same type of hair and are roughly the same size.

It’s been like this for years. My sister forgets people’s birthdays, so therefore dm thinks I forget birthdays too, as an example.

We have very different lives, different friendship groups. Honestly if there’s anyone on here who’s parents to twins, you’re parents to 2 individual people with 2 individual identities.

@SoniaFouler

God OP, you sound just like your sister.

😆

I mix everybody up all the time in my family. That's standard isn't it? Calling someone their aunties name, sisters name, dogs name before getting to theirs happens all the time doesn't it?

MiL at times would call each of the sons names (eldest first) till she got the right one.

@FluffyBastard

Do you dress the same? My mum confuses me with my auntie, my half sister and her husband. I’d have no chance if I was a twin

Your mother confuses you with your half sister's husband?

My dad was a bit like that - couldn't remember details like which of us didn't like a particular food or activity. Dh is the same with our kids, and even with me. He just doesn't seem to pay enough attention for information to stick.

I suspect it's nothing to do with the fact that you're twins, she'd be like that anyway.

I have friends who are identical twins and have worked hard to separate their identities to the point where one twin forgot the other's birthday

I get my son and daughter mixed up sometimes. They’re two years apart and look nothing like each other.

@CustardySergeant no with her own husband! 😂 my stepfather!

I’m a twin and feel your pain OP! Most of our extended family just couldn’t be bothered to tell us apart. We’re technically identical but always dressed differently, had different hair etc so it shouldn’t have been so hard! Growing up, Mum and Dad always made a point of treating us as individuals and I agree it’s important to do this.

Isn't it just part of being a parent?? My mum was forever calling me my brother's names growing up.

Honestly, unless she only does it to the 2 of you, it's a mother thing.

I am a twin and have other sibling. I cannot count the amount of times my mum informs me she told me something and when I claim I know nothing about it, she realises she's told one of my sibling (sometimes my twin, sometimes another sibling, sometimes my sil).. plus we all get called each other's names.

If it's just the two of she mixes up, she is being unreasonable.

I'm always doing this with my daughters. They are 5 years apart and look nothing like each other. They each have 3 children and also do it. It isn't deliberate, we all find it quite funny.
You seem to have a bit of a chip on your shoulder about being a twin. I'm sure your mother loves you just as much as she loves your twin

Honestly my parents do this with me and my sister. We are years apart in age! I don’t think it’s because you’re a twin specifically.

Hmm, I see that you find this irritating but I am not sure it's a twin thing. My mum used to get me and my sister muddled up and we are 8 years apart. I now do it with my children.

My mum insisted my brother and I sounded the same and she regularly combined our names when she needed a child but wasn’t fussed which (so like “Davy-Louise come here!”. Sometimes, “not you, Davy-Louise, the other one!”)

Luckily eventually his voice broke and we stopped sounding like twins. So now she calls me my little sister’s name.

My SIL is the youngest of five and until she was 7 she thought her full name was “Katie-Anna-Robert-Thomas-Suzanne” because her mum always worked through all the names before getting to her.

It's not unique to twins just maybe more extreme.

In our house it was "Tom, Dick, Harry, whoever did this get down here now". My brother and I laugh in sync when we're together.

My mum went through each child’s name (and her niece) until she got the right one. She’d even throw in random names at times. She could also never remember who hated peas and who liked carrots etc.

I do this with my 3 DC, the oldest is 34!. Now I'm even calling them the Ddogs names too.

My sister calls me her dog's name.

When she is angry, I get called her two sons and her husbands name before she gets to me.

Before you wask I am a woman

I’ve found myself doing this with my twins, and although they look kinda similar, they’re b/g twins so definitely not identical. I sometimes cycle through dh/dogs names/and kids names until I land on the right one, if I’ve not got time and I’m telling one of them to stop something dangerous or to come here and I’m stressed, I now say child come here now!

I try so hard to treat them as individuals whilst ensuring the twin bond is strong with them, but life with two of the same age is bloody knackering. I’ve aged 20 years in 3, my memory is shot to shit and I’m just aiming to get the cherubs to adulthood safe and sound at the minute!

Unless there’s a massive backstory of abusive behaviour and it’s done maliciously, give your Mum a break, she probably can’t help it