To think after 40yrs mum should be able to know the difference between me and my twin

[EnrouteNOTonroute]

It’s infuriating. We’re not even identical.
It’s just laziness to to lump us in together as one identity. I’ve had a lifetime of it and I’m sick of it.

@StCharlotte

I have friends who are identical twins and have worked hard to separate their identities to the point where one twin forgot the other's birthday

😂

Yabu

Loads of people do it.

I have a long history of getting my twins muddled up. I remember discretely feeding one during a trip out, then lifting her up to wind her and the huge shock when it wasn't the baby I thought it was (at least she was still mine ).

I can never remember who doesn't like what.

I have flown round many parents evenings seeing double the number of teachers, many of whom gave me the same report for each child, even though they were in different classes. Or they tried especially hard to not give the same report. It really fries my brain trying to work out what they actually mean and which child needs what help.

Recently I have thanked the wrong daughter for a pair of bedsocks from a few years ago. In my defence they came from the shop that both of them have worked in at the same and different times.

Many many apologies . I am scatty, but I really, really do know that my daughters are very different people and love them both with all my heart.

I mix all of my family up. My mum used to as well but she only recognises me on the phone now because I've moved away and my sister never phones her! The worst thing for me, though, is calling my friends by the wrong name. IMO that is far, far worse that calling a family member the wrong name 😬

Sometimes the kids call me Dad or address their as Dad Mum...

That running gag about Mrs. Weasley mixing her own kids up felt like real life to me.

My sister is 6 years older than me and we look nothing alike, but until the day she died, Mum would call us by the wrong names.

Okay I always preferred your sister!

On a serious note it is hard for parents of twins because naturally people forget names of family, I am not a twin and my mum used to feel through all her sisters, my brother the cat dog and gerbils names before she would hit on mine and now I am a parent I seem to always pick the wrong child's name.
I have twins and they have only ever since "Littlies" been in the same class twice, littlies was abut 6 weeks before they moved one into biggies due to his physical needs as he was advanced walking (9 months) and this remained until pre kindergarten when I was slowly loosing the will to live as I got constant complaints about one of them, and I used to say with some of the stuff "really it sounds more like a thing his brother would do" and was loved right when yet again I got a list of complaints and at the end I said I your sure it was a? Not B 3 staff confirmed this and I asked them to get him so we could go home let them start to look, get a bit worried they couldn't find him before saying "oh yes that's right he was off sick today!"
In school same twin would get blamed for everything that happened in the play ground but individual teachers would blame which ever one it was in their class, I never had them in the same class at primary and for secondary I sent them to different schools where suddenly I do not have children who are the devil incarnate being blamed for each other's mistakes and bad behaviour and then also being blamed of basically anything else going on (the expression give a dog a bad name comes to mind)
Since secondary they have been praised for their exemplary behaviour and currently neither school is aware they are a twin as they have changed schools again for 6 th form.
I really feel for you but at home I know their personalities but which one doesn't like strawberry jam or won't eat korma... or is it tikka I forget, these are the mundane things in life and I only have so much time and energy.

In other news my twins had different coloured hair, eyes and one had really long hair and the other didn't, I still marvel at how people struggle

My mum mixes up me and my sister all the time and we aren’t even twins! I actually do have twins and I’m guilty of calling them the wrong name. Not because I don’t know who’s who’s, it just slips out sometimes.

My DH, DS and DB all have a name that starts with G or J (same sound), sometimes I just work my way through the names until I get the correct one. I do know who they are though.

My mum mixes me and my 3 sisters up all the time, 4 totally different ages and look nothing alike don't even have similar personalities. Maybe it's a mum thing

Not sure it's the twin thing, my nan used to get me and my cousin confused all the time and she lived with me for a while (my nan). It is annoying though!

I have 5 sisters and mum often goes through all our names before getting the right one, or forgets which one of us has given her or told her something. She will tell us about events that happened when we were younger that may have happened to any one of us and frequently gets it wrong. It was funny when we were small because telling off loses its punch when you are going through 6 names for the perpetrator.

Update: I phoned my mum on the back of this and we were just generally chatting. Her doorbell went and she answered whilst still on the phone to me. I heard the shock in her voice when she said to my sister, 'I'm on the phone to you!'. Parents...just love them!

It’s not just about getting the names wrong though. It’s lumping us in together in other ways. Eg if one of us does something like bakes cakes then we both get described as cake bakers. If one of us forgets something then we both get blamed.

I've been vegetarian for about 30 years and my parents still sometimes offer me sausages. They are otherwise loving and interested in my life but certain things just never sink in...

@EnrouteNOTonroute our DM does that too though. She says 'my daughters' as though we are one entity. She tells people we are 'all' creative, or 'all' whatever. We aren't! We are 'all' very very different.

@needmoreshinys

My sister calls me her dog's name.

When she is angry, I get called her two sons and her husbands name before she gets to me.

Before you wask I am a woman

I accidentally call my 7 year old niece by her family’s dog’s name quite often. I don’t mean to, but in my defence I really love that dog!

I feel your pain, the other day I heard my teen telling the dog off. He shouted “stop it mum!”

I can assure you I am at least 5 foot taller and far less hairy.

I'm one of 5.
My dad would say
Arthur, Florence, Mary, Lucy, Ellen, whoever you are.

(names have been changed)
We were basically all called the same thing.

We are all independent adults with individual identities.

That does sound annoying, OP! Presumably she's unlikely to stop doing it after all this time though...

I have b/g twins who look nothing alike. They were together through primary school, but are a couple of years into secondary and there are still many of the teachers, and quite a lot of their friends, who haven't realised they are twins (we have a common surname). The girl twin looks very like her elder sister, and people generally peg the relationship between the two of them straightaway, but DS looks nothing like the rest of us and gets through life incognito.

Honestly my dc always comment that I'm having a good day if I get the right name before I've listed the dog and all their (five in total) siblings first. No idea why I do it but my second dc when asked what his name was as a tot used to say it's "ds1 name-his name" eg Robert- James when his name was James.

My dad is the youngest of 14
He didn’t even get called by anyone else’s name, never mind his own. He was just “boy”

My dad mixes me and my mum up all the time. And I've defo been called the dogs name before

Op yanbu have you been really blunt with it