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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it sad that such young children are being bought such grown-up presents?

265 replies

allIWannaBeForChristmas · 18/12/2007 11:49

partly brought on by the other thread, but have heard from so many people who are buying their 4/5/6 yo's games consoles/televisions/dvd players and even know of one who has bought her 7 yo a mobile phone.

am I the only one that thinks this is wrong?

OP posts:
tortoiseSHELL · 18/12/2007 20:08

The reason I hate them is because they are so predatory. Yes, I suppose you COULD copy a game over from a console to a PC, rewrite it, somehow transfer it back into a medium the console could read, but how many kids do? Maybe a handful? And they would probably get interested anyway, via normal computer use, not games console.

But how many kids spend HOURS on them, at the expense of reading or drawing or making up plays or making models or building railway layouts?

I agree that once in a while is fine. Ds1 enjoys his friend's playstation a lot. Probably more than if we had one. If we had one, it would just be another screen in the house to argue over how much they could use it.

I just think they steal your life in a way - you could spend hours on them. How many posts on MN say 'my dh spends hours on the computer playing games'? Lots. And sites like MN steal your life as well - how many posts saying 'I spend far too much time on here, the house is a mess, I really ought to tidy it, but I've just been drawn into a really long discussion...' I'm as guilty of it as anyone. But a kid doesn't necessarily have the concept of rationing time on the computer, so it becomes a source of conflict.

Each to their own - but we aren't getting one anytime soon!!!!

unknownrebelbang · 18/12/2007 20:21

My lads have got some of the things mentioned on this thread, and DS3 has certainly had access to consoles etc from an earlier age than I would have liked purely because he is DS3.

Other things mentioned on this thread we have refused point blank to buy (or buy at an early age).

Thing is, we buy what we think is appropriate for our children, and then monitor what they play with, and for how long, etc.

My lads play on games consoles. They also happen to do a lot of sport and scouting activities, two of them play musical instruments. As far as I'm concerned - with my children - it's about a balance.

And two out of the three can play chess.

Hulababy · 18/12/2007 20:26

In our house there is no conflict. I retain the control. OK, at present DD is still young - but then we are taking in this thread about that age group, and I think at that ageyou ca as a aprent control it and just say no. We have no problems over this at all.

bookofchristmascarolsmum · 18/12/2007 20:26

I bought my dd the High School Musical dance mat as she's really into HSM. I can't this making her sit down in the corner .

Then I bought her the cheerleading outfit to wear which probably was a bit OTT . Hey, it's Christmas .

FWIW, my parents refused to buy us those hand-held computer games out years ago -the Mario bros type - as they thought that they weren't worth the money!! Probably why I'm so rubbish at the big TV games now.

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 07:40

Quote from IceQueen if it's so unimaginative - why is my house full of "shrek2" drawings by DS1 and why do DS1 and 2 spend so many hours "playing" at being Shrek characters downstairs???""

Actually ? this shows exactly why it is unimaginative. Your sons are acting out what they have experienced through their games console. At aged 5 and 2 my DDs don?t watch much TV and don?t even know that games consoles exist. When they role play, they have a myriad of characters that they conjure up through a mixture of experiences ? not solely the one that has been directed to them through a games console. Much more imaginative in my opinion.

Plus ? people are saying that there is no direct link between violence and video games in yet you have told us that your sons? Shrek game causes them to act out the Shrek game and play at being Shrek characters. So which way is it? Do video games influence children to role play what they see or not???

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 07:46

"Can someone please explain how it makes them grow up more quickly? "

Because you're bypassing an era of their childhood and filling their bedrooms with 'toys' that people use in adulthood.

Because these types of toys are so passive and much like surfing on Mumsnet, provide surface stimulation, which when done too much can become addictive and at the expense of a person being able to get stimulation in other ways that require effort.

Because these types of toys allow a child to more easily 'tune out' of family life.

All toys certainly do not have to be educational but at Pre-school and Infant school age certainly, 'adult' electronic toys are more likely to have a negative effect. It's not so much what the toy does as what it excludes the child from doing.

foofi · 19/12/2007 07:49

(Haven't read the whole thread - it's too long!)

When you say 'grown-up present' I assume you mean something you didn't have until you were a grown-up. It's a different world now I'm afraid and children have technology all around them. As long as they're not hooked up to computer games 24 hours a day (and I don't know any children who are), I don't see the problem.

foofi · 19/12/2007 07:50

lol at comparing these presents to us being on MN!! So it must be bad.

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 09:21

"It's a different world now I'm afraid and children have technology all around them. "

Go on then, convince me why my five year old, Reception aged child needs a games console or an MP3 player or a mobile phone or her own TV. What is she missing? How is it going to be detrimental to her that I don't encourage her to live in this 'different world' you speak of.

TheIceQueen · 19/12/2007 09:22

"Your sons are acting out what they have experienced through their games console. "

and how is that different from children acting at being a character(s) from a book they've been read???

My favourite story when I was little was Cinderella - I used to build her "carriage" from lego, dress up and pretend to be her, draw pictures of her, and play "make believe" using bits of the real story, and add my own bits in - just as the DS's do with Shrek.

DS1 is very good at reading, and enjoys it - but never really sees books in the shops and asks for them (probably due to the 500 or so children's books they have sat on their bookshelf in their bedroom. However, he's seen the Shrek Album - and wants it - so I'm going to buy if for him so that he can enjoy sitting down and reading it...is that a bad thing???

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 09:29

TodayToday - I suspect there is nothing detrimental to her not having these things. Just like, for the majority of children, there is nothing detrimental to other children having access to these things.

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 09:34

"
and how is that different from children acting at being a character(s) from a book they've been read???"

It's slightly different in that children have to use their imagination more to know how to put the words and pictures into actions. But I did not say it was different. I said that my DDs role play based on a myriad of experiences - not exclusively related to what they have read or seen through digital media.

morningpaper · 19/12/2007 09:34

Agree with OP

By the way, I must WARN those of you who have boght young children digital cameras, that your ARSE looks MASSIVE and your CHINS looks PLENTIFUL from 3 foot high. Don't say you weren't warned.

morningpaper · 19/12/2007 09:35

I know several grown men who play on their computer console game things

I'm afraid I think they are all a bit dim

Read a book FFS

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 09:39

My daughter's imaginative also comes from a wild array of experiences, but this includes things from digital media. Still can't see the problem.

There is not one comment here, against children using technology and digital games/conssoles/whatever, that proves to me that a 5 year old will be damaged in someway from using them.

Some people don't want their child using these stuff - fair enough, own choice. But it does not mean that they are wrong and damaging to all other children who do use them!

morningpaper · 19/12/2007 09:41

I don't think they are damaging

I just think there are so many nicer things to be doing in life

Whittling sticks, chasing burglars etc etc

Anna8888 · 19/12/2007 09:44

One of the most successful men I know (head honcho of a big professional services firm) and very nice to boot loves games consoles.

He has three daughters and no sons, and has given up pretending he buys all the technology for his children .

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 09:45

LOL! I do the "chasing burglars" myself a fair bit at times - but for DD to play that it would be just her role playing "mummy at work" - never seems the same somehow with Barbie or Polly Pocket.

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 09:46

Hulababy - it is very dependent on how the parent allows the child to use the device. From being a teacher you must know very clearly that there are plenty of parents who do not provide their children with a counterbalance of activities and/or put limits on the amount of time and type of games the child can play.

Can't people be a little sad that these types of toys are becoming the norm for three year olds and be concerned about the plentiful amount of families who don't understand how to impose restrictions or care about the suitability of the games being played?

TodayToday · 19/12/2007 09:48

MP - yes that's how I feel. There are so many lovely fun toys for 4 year olds that they only get the chance to play with at 4 years old. I can't understand not wanting to have more of those in the home.

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 09:52

Yes I agree, it is about balance. But this is the same for many types of toys and games, and always has been. Really it isn't ideal for a child to rely on just one source of entertainment, completely focused for hours on end, surely? These games consoles are not the things at fault. It is a parenting issue. We as parents must retain control.

Which is why I have no problem with most preschoolers and primary school aged children using computers and games consoles. Because I know that I am capable, as the parent, of controlling what my DD plays and when, and for how long. None of the children I know with these things - which is almost ALL the children I know, all have some form of games console even if just a Leapster type - have no problems with the obsession issue; all play with a wide variety of other toys and activities too. So my comments are based on what I think is right for my child based on my experience.

The types of parents who will allow their children to become obsessed with them are more likely to be the type who have other issues that need addressing. And I suspect that the games console would be the least of their problems re parenting overall. Remembering who is the parent and who has the ultimate control is the key.

morningpaper · 19/12/2007 09:53

Yes Today I agree

I know it is a LITTLE thing in the scheme of things

But my children seem to get so little time in between school etc to actually DO NOTHING - which I think is so important so them - it seems a shame to impinge on that important "play" time

Hulababy · 19/12/2007 09:53

And most people probably have the other fun lovely stuff as well. Certainly DD does.

morningpaper · 19/12/2007 09:55

It seems a shame to me Hulababy that we NEED to control "play" things - that sets off alarm bells to me.

I DO need to control one thing that DD does - television. But I don't think it's a wholly benign influence, if I am honest.

I don't like giving her things to do that I need to CONTROL - i.e. that I perceive as having an addictive/controlling element over her attention. I don't understand why parents want to encourage more of that sort of activity in very young children.

Marne · 19/12/2007 09:59

I agree with the op.

I hate games consoles, i think this year they have realy been pushed on younger children by making games aimed at them.

I was realy when i saw a add last week for a game (for the ds) called something like 'mummy's' where you could have babbies and look after them on your ds

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