Feel like I am living in a nightmare

[newnamesa]

Sorry if this is a long post but dont want to drip feed.
I live in a shared house in a housing co-op. For the last two years myself and family (and one other tenant) have been harrassed by another tenant. It has got to the point that I am on two types of medication due to this issue.
He was an aquaintance that showed up at my door asking could he leave his bike at my place, so I said of course. It them transpired he had been eviceted and asked to stay. As the house was very underoccupied I said of course. He was granted a tenancy, even though he was evicted due to none payment of rent/bills at his last place due to me sticking up for him as I thought it was only fair as he was street homeless and the co-op house was vertually empty.
Anyway since then he has inflicted a living nightmare on everyone else who lives here.
Ill feeling started off when the bills came in. He took my asking him to pay his share as a person attack and since then has sworn to make our lives a misery.
He assulted me about a year ago and the police did nothing. He sends long rambling abusive emails and texts. He has called me a sloppy bitch in an email that he sent round to the whole co-op. He messes around with the bills, getting the power company to delay issuing bills till they mount up and then claims he is not liable. These are just a few highlights of an ongoing campaign.
He has described his behaviour as 'psychological warefare' and warned me that he knows what he is doing. And he does, he is careful to stay just inside the law. (forinstance he no longer used my name in his abusive letters, small details like that, that I only find out when I go to the police that it counts as not addressed to me)
The housing co-op have been worse than useless and are doing nothing. Because I have never been in a relationship with him all the domestic violence services say its not DV. The police say the landlord should be dealing with it.
I am at the point of feeling utterly hopeless and can see anyway out of this.

• *[Edited by MNHQ to remove identifying info] **

Haven’t you got a contract OP?

we have tenancies, but we can end anytime, mtual exchange is a thing in social housing.

Hi OP, if your ex is offering take it!! You will get your life & mental health back. Let him take on your ex! Life is too short to let such a toxic individual take it over

The co-op would happly rehouse him but he has refused to take anywhere.

Why does he need to agree to being removed? Whether he wants to or not just seems irrelevant. Isn’t that the whole problem in the first place, that he won’t fucking leave.

I really feel for you OP. You are being badly let down by this coop / management committee / whoever they are.

It seems really perverse that a set up designed to be non-exploitative, presumably with the tenants in mind, is being run on such an irresponsible basis and neglecting its duty towards the people who live there so badly. I feel really cross on your behalf OP.

@newnamesa

we have tenancies, but we can end anytime, mtual exchange is a thing in social housing.

But does this detail their duties towards you as tenant and the terms you are bound by?

@newnamesa

I had another distressing email from the co-op this afternoon and I got in a real state about it and called the kids dad and he offered to swap with me. He has a two bed in Primrose Hill and its only £170 a week, still a real hike but I could do it on my salary. I am seriously thinking about it. My ex is a tough bugger as well so bully boy would be in for quite a shock, which is a very pleasing thought.

Do it. And then swap back once he has (hopefully) left.

Bullies like this only get away with it because people let them (not any sort of slight on you; I can see how this has happened). But if your ex has the temperament to not stand for any of his shit, and is going in prewarned then it's possibly what this prick needs to fcuk off.

He won't get any satisfaction out of his behaviour if it's not upsetting anyone.

Hang on, perhaps I’ve misread your OP, but you knew he had been kicked out of his place for non-payment of rent, yet you agreed to him coming to live with you? Is that correct?

@GrannytoaUnicorn yes I knew he had been kicked out for none payment of rent and bills. I did think maybe he had some issues with money but I thought as its so cheap here and I could help him keep ahead of his budgeting, I had zero inclining that he was someone who who is cabable of a sustained hate campaign, I thought he was a bit excentric and vlnerable, but turned out he is a psycho. But I, stupidly, thought he just needed a chance and he would be able to get himself in order. I did not know him well, we had been on the management comittee together and he was always quite excentric but that in itself does not mean someone is a bad person. I thought I was doing someone a favor but looking back I was being idotically nieve. I learned a lesson and anyone reading this, be aware, its rare but some people really are like one of those horror films. Never get into something you cant get out of until you really know someone.

@yourestandingonmyneck yes, my ex wont stand for any shit whatsowever, he's not the kind of guy anyone could ever bully, he just does not have that personality. Misbehaviour is met with ridicule unless it really pisses him off and then, well they your really in trouble. As he said last night 'we'll I'll just break his legs'

@TheRigatonini yes we have tenancies that detail responsibilities on both sides. But the co-op just refuse to enforce them with this guy. I think it could be that they want the house cleared and think Corin is going to do it for them? who knows. I know one of the chairs is definatly covering for him, not sure if its because he does not see DV as a problem (he is in his 70s and a very working class guy from Glasgow, appol to Glasweegens but I do think the culture he comes from DV is just one of those things and women should not be bothering anyone with their complaints) or if its about getting vacant possession of the house.

I have taken the day off work as was too distressed yesterday to stay, so am going to look at ex's flat this afternoon, its in Primrose Hill, and from what I remember its pritty nice. The rent will be a hike (though still very cheap compaired to market rent) but I will just have to budget better.
I did always think I would stay in this area as I have been here so long but I phoned my sister this morning and she basically said 'its a lifeline, you would be crazy not to take his offer'

@newnamesa

I would ring citizens advice this morning and see what your options are. I’ve always found them to be extremely knowledgeable on housing issues. They can give you a clear plan of the steps you need to take.

That’s nice of your ex offering to move in. I think I’d take him up on that offer!!

I would go to the ex's place and then work on taking on better paid work as and when you can to move into a market rent place even if it is further out of London than Primrose Hill (I live further out zone 5 and it is fine).

What I don't understand is why your ex would ever, in a million years, want to give up a co-op flat in Primrose Hill, to move in with a psycho guy that he will get into conflict with, and presumably in a worse location?

Perhaps he's concerned about the effects of this hate campaign on his child manolantern?